With a bloody toe.

There is a guy jogging outside my apartment right now. The real feel is 116. What a performative asshole.

He is 100000000000% dead and they’re waiting to tell us for when they can hold a special election instead of having the seat appointed.

I feel like sitting on my couch with @croatbeba.bsky.social just hanging out would heal me right now. Miss you, Jen 💖

If you think I’m doing onlyfans so you can have complete access to me for $7/mo you are out of your goddamn mind. Sex work is a business. If you want my time, pay for it. I’m not a captive audience that’s there to “get to know you.” I’m there to pay bills. Tip my jar or shut up.

I haven’t enjoyed being a cradle catholic this much in my entire life.

It is too fucking hot to have boobs right now.

Natalie Harp? You mean the president’s hospice nurse?

I’m a big believer in CERN has fucked up all of our shit, but lol not like this?

If you think I’m doing onlyfans so you can have complete access to me for $7/mo you are out of your goddamn mind. Sex work is a business. If you want my time, pay for it. I’m not a captive audience that’s there to “get to know you.” I’m there to pay bills. Tip my jar or shut up.

I keep having to explain to my European friends that Americans always thinking they can win anything is a feature of this country and not a bug.

WOW

How about staying onside?

I don’t like that call 🤷🏻‍♀️

That one will count.

cant believe nyc is not only walkable but climbable

Harry Kane

Thanks, I hate it.

CONGO?!

Why isn’t every anthem O Canada?

When you try to sound esoteric but you are actually dumb.

I will be celebrating our nation’s 250th birthday with honoring how the French helped us gain our independence by having a ménage à trois.

They’re really spending almost $9/gl to sit in traffic on the 405 wow.

My intuition’s so crazy 🤷🏻‍♀️

In an mmmbop they’re gone 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know a one wish willow wish when I see one.

Happy July. Here is a fucking thunderstorm.

Went out for burritos and margs with @terrrrrible.bsky.social tonight. A good time was had by all.

Excommunicate this LARPer already.

You ever just think about the moon?

NORWAAAAAAY

Celebrate by dancing on its grave, baby! This is America, we do NOT need a single excuse to party our way thru societal decline!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN REAL FEEL OF 107?!

I was ROUTINELY better at sports than boys growing up. It honestly wasn’t until about junior year of high school could they out muscle me. The whole trans women in sports debate is so stupid. What’s next? Women are too delicate for sports, period?

On the last fucking day of Pride. I hate this entire regime.

I think I have to stop entering people’s lives with love and light & start entering with darkness and mischief.

Was just reminded that the “unforgivable” videos exist.

Every year around this time people start complaining about fireworks and every year I put my fingers in my ears and scream, “lalalala!”

Damn.

Things have felt like a crisis for half of my life, but at the same time, I’m alive at the same time as “Purple Rain” so it really does all work out.

It’s so painful how I’m funnier than basically every man I’ve ever talked to

OH MY GOD

I love how the Americas finally get a Pope and people from the US are like “omg are sports teams are spiritually protected” this country is absurd lol

I think a lot about how nothing has really worked out for me at all in Connecticut because I’m not supposed to be here. Life knows this isn’t where I want to put roots down, so it’s pushing me out 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s mercury retrograde. May whatever gods you worship be in your favor. This one is gunna be a doozy.

Just do witchcraft

Someone will be seeing themselves tonight, that’s for damn sure.

Does listening to Bush while having a bush qualify as meta?

Taurus: Harness the clarity you’re feeling lately to probe deeply into the worst things you’ve ever done. Introspective self-loathing is the theme for you this week, Taurus. Really get in there.

Ahhh there’s the comedown from last nights high. Currently missing everyone I’ve ever loved in any capacity at the moment.