never let them know your next move (mine is a bowel movement)

this is how your email finds me

if anyone wants to hit me with their car im available

really need tacos right now, might die if i don’t get them

one battle after another but it’s just the week ive had

*boiling hot dogs in the temple baptismal font*

don’t cry because it’s happening, smile because it will soon be over

what if the sacrament was hot dogs and hot dog water

do you think the mormon church would let someone get baptized in a font full of hot dog water

utah’s air quality is the worst in the nation this week, the equivalent of smoking 1-3 cigarettes a day does doctrine and covenants section 89 have anything to say about this

yikes. unfollowing him now. was a huge fan of him turning water into wine, was not aware he visited a 14 year old white boy in 1820 and made him start a church that gave him authority to marry child brides and send other men on overseas missions so he could marry their wives

never let them know your next move

im fighting battles you don’t even know about in arenas that wouldn’t surprise you

Everyone's like 'Oh Britain sent *one guy* to Greenland - that'll stop the Green Berets lololol'. That dude's there to straight up *die* if shit pops off. He's a landmine that the US can't step on because it will mean war with all of Europe.

one time i asked my ex to help me take pictures for my onlyfans and he started crying and said that i needed to do it by myself because it was too hard for him lmao

unexpectedly stuck in california for the next several days anyone have good food recs in irvine, california

a horror movie where all of the bathrooms are full & the people in them aren’t moving their feet at all and you’re like “uh, guys” & no one is coming out or moving or shifting or doing anything on the toilet & you wonder if everyone died on the toilet at once (this is happening to me rn at smith’s)

i started taking pole classes two months ago & it’s amazing what the human body is capable of if you just keep showing up and trying yeah you’re going to SUCK at it for the first like 20 classes because you’ve never done it before and you don’t know what you’re doing but you’re also getting better

this was my first time going upside down, go easy on me

AOC: I want everybody to understand that the cuts to your health care are what’s paying for this. You get screwed over to pay a bunch of thugs in the street that are shooting mothers in the face.

a cute, simple combo i learned the other night

recorded a naked pole video today, feeling unstoppable

the fash do not like queer women! lesbians are opting out of a central system of control (heterosexual marriage to a man) and it makes them furious

“renee good was a part of a larger, hidden network of organized leftists” you mean having friends? you mean going to local meetings about how to keep her neighbors from getting kidnapped?

how long before ICE kills a kid

i feel like simon pegg at the end of hot fuzz when he’s screaming “am i going completely mad?????”

GFM link for Renee Good’s family: gofund.me/c0e526693

his name is Jonathan Ross and he shouldn't get a good night's sleep for the rest of his life www.startribune.com/ice-agent-wh...

before anybody says it.... send these people your money, y'all. they're gonna need it and y'all just have to sit there and read about it.

my dad, who hit me and all of my brothers growing up, voted for trump it’s really hard to imagine these losers developing any kind of empathy for strangers and victims of the atrocities we’re seeing across the country when they don’t even care about their own kids

if you want sex very very badly and are unable to get it, hiring a sex worker until you can get it in other ways is *the only ethical solution *i might have some blind spots about other ethical options available

if you don’t get out of your car when an immigration official tells you to, they get to shoot you in the face things are so fucking bleak

losing my mind at the "she should have followed directions" people really? really? you're cool with "if you don't follow directions, they get to kill you"? that seems like a good state of affairs to you? that seems like how law enforcement ought to work: instant obeisance or death?

It is now confirmed from multiple sources that ICE shot a legal observer dead on Portland in Minneapolis between 34th and 33rd street. The victim is dead

mormons think they’re peculiar in a good way but the truth is, suppressing people’s natural desires and natures and telling them how evil they are from the age of 8 makes you peculiar in a very freaky, “get away from me” kind of way

i am becoming a protein bitch

was taking feet pics for my foot guys and he got so jealous that i wasn’t giving him attention that he sat on them mid-picture lmfao

if going to pole tomorrow after my 1 week break doesn’t fix me then i don’t know what will

in the mood for $1,000 and a mom hug

having a garbage night and nothing even happened

do you ever read old texts from your mom just to scream

started watching blue eye samurai and it has altered my brain chemistry

Just woke up even angrier. Impeach, convict, remove. Draft articles now. Either we have a representative government or we don’t. Do not shut up about this until there’s a vote.

Imagine if Canada decided they didn’t want to deal with US tariffs so they bombed Washington DC and kidnapped Trump

full moon in cancer so im getting ice cream and watching a movie and trying again tomorrow because what the f—k is this shit

i haven’t been able to go to pole all week because I got a really gnarly goose egg after whacking my already-bruised shin against something and im waiting for the swelling to go down 😭

the nye party theme was “welcome to hell”