"Wow, Satan is finally making sense!" "How am I agreeing with the actual devil?" "Let's all just believe Satan has had a real change of heart and is saying all of this is good faith!" You fucking dummies

Imagine devoting your life to perfecting the seatbelt but stipulating only white, land owning men are allowed to use them. This post is about the founding fathers.

"I'd prefer to go back to the quiet, polite fascism that I could comfortably ignore!"

Incredible things happening on LibSky

Once again, for the people in the back: If you watch the new Harry Potter series you are directly funding trans genocide. Have fun with that!

We are absolutely fucking cooked. The comments on this wildly obvious AI slop video make me want to peel my face off

Anyone who isn't at least allowing the possibility that this was a fake assassination attempt is, at this point, willfully in denial. I understand MAGA's willful denial, I just don't understand the Lib's denial.

What if, when this is all over, instead of hanging or guillotine or whatever, we did a piss throw. We line them up, maybe 4 hours a day, and we can all get in line (I'm envisioning a lottery system where you can reserve dates)

Vouching for Jo. Jo can be trusted. Boosting this.

It's Primary Election Day in Illinois, with a major Senate seat and crucial House seats on the ballot. If you're an Illinois voter, I urge you to reject the failed centrism of the past — and vote for Democrats who will actually fight for something. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQzG_TrhyrY

This is what it sounds like when a politician actually believes what they are telling you, and actually wants to do good. Compare this to what every corporate centrist quisling Dem says. It's incredible.

Here are the complete DOGE depositions in the MLA-ACLS-AHA lawsuit that were taken down off of YouTube yesterday. I uploaded them to archive dot org. archive.org/details/adam...

I'm listening to Bill Bryson tell me how a bad flu would knock us flat footed and I'm starting to get worried until I remember The Body was from 2019 and the deadly pandemic he was predicting already happened.

I heard Trump took a bad shit this morning, to distract from the Epstein files. Then later he ate steak with ketchup, to distract from the Epstein files. The he did a bunch of stuff he was going to do anyway, obviously to distract from the Epstein files.

Fuck yeah brother! If those little girls didn't want to be blown to bits while trying to get an education they shouldn't have brought all those nuclear weapons to school with them.

The duality of bluesky

This war is dumb and illegal

Watch one (1) episode of Heated Rivalry and suddenly I'm considering romancing Alex in Stardew. I'm so sorry Abigail.

And that's why we invaded Venezuela.

I actually think it's good that The Onion can keep posting the same exact headlines for a quarter century and they're still extremely relevant. That's probably a good sign about the progress of our culture, right? Right?

So courage. Much accountability. Buck stop here.

i know the situation in kansas right now is dangerous and terrifying. that said, i'm hoping to speak to someone who's had their license invalidated. i will do absolutely everything to protect your anonymity and maintain your safety. i can be reached securely via signal at marisakabas.04

After the first minute the first Democrat stands up and starts shouting the names on the Epstein list. Democrat is dragged out by security. Speech resumes. A minute later another Democrat stands up and starts shouting. The cycle continues until the end. That's something they could have done.

Which is certainly why they're not releasing that report

Did trivia last night and named the team "The Dow" and every time they announced scores we screamed that we WERE OVER FIFTY THOUSAND and everybody hated us but that's showbiz baby

Yeah, sure, fuck it. It'll be a joke election, why not run a joke candidate?

Here's a handy reference for what to say when returning Ring devices to Amazon for a refund (it shouldn't matter how long you've had it).

Apparently it’s already been edited out of replays. The best would have been to cut back and forth between JD and the US athletes with booing or cheering depending on who’s on screen, like with that little kid at the hockey game

As a child in school I never could have imagined that as an adult hearing “the vice presence of the united states got booed at the Olympics” my reaction would be an Eriq-Lasalle-in-the-ER-opening-credits fist pump

This is what I've been saying. Democratic leadership doesn't want us to know they can do things. Because they don't want to do things. Because them doing things will upset their owners.

Dem leadership: changing this is a difficult process, you fool. You rube. You utter infant. Give us between $5 and $50 Mamdani, wiping grease off his hands: So it turns out there's a switch on this machine that puts it into either orphan-shredding mode or free school lunch mode. Just had to flip it

Dem leadership for generations: no you fool, you infant. It is a process. It takes time and political capital and expertise, it's- Mamdani, dusting off his hands: fixed it Dem leadership: what do you mean you fixed it Mamdani: Just had to unplug it.

Every day Mamdani comes out and is like "hey guys, I turned off the orphan-crushing machine. Literally just had to flip a switch. Took less than 5 minutes." After decades of dem leadership pissing and moaning and fundraising about how complex an issue it is and how difficult the process is etc

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🐢 🕯️ 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

Libs: Ugh I don't understand why Iowa has such undue political influence when it's full of pigshit, corn, and like 10 actual humans. Also libs: How DARE you accuse me of INSULTING iowans? Thin skin much?

Can’t make this shit up! The geniuses at the DOJ redacted Trump in the #Epstein files - but not fully.

On hold with Microsoft support, thought I'd do some googling and whaddya know, Google trying it's best to keep things under wraps 🤣

Liberals: Doing a coup is illegal actually, Trump can't do that!

So we're all on the same page here that Trump just 100% confessed to staging his own "assassination" attempts right?

you're never gonna believe it but were doing this again on blue sky dot app in the year two thousand and twenty six

Dem leadership right now

After watching ICE slip around on actual ice recently, I have to assume most of these "people" are from warmer climates, like the south. The south that is about to be absolutely hammered with winter weather. To a degree not seen since 1993 when power and water were out for weeks.

Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools

I 100% guarantee you if Trump had won in 2020 the libs would be posting their fanfic that "We wouldn't have lost Roe if you fucking purity test leftists had just voted for the nice ice cream grandpa!"

The police aren't saving us from ICE for the same reasons the Democrats aren't saving is from the Republicans.

I keep saying, conservative men are the LeFou to their fantasy of a Gaston. Whether he be Trump, some bro "influencer," or law enforcement. They idolize bullies as avatars for & proximity to power.