Yeah, sure, fuck it. It'll be a joke election, why not run a joke candidate?

Here's a handy reference for what to say when returning Ring devices to Amazon for a refund (it shouldn't matter how long you've had it).

Apparently it’s already been edited out of replays. The best would have been to cut back and forth between JD and the US athletes with booing or cheering depending on who’s on screen, like with that little kid at the hockey game

As a child in school I never could have imagined that as an adult hearing “the vice presence of the united states got booed at the Olympics” my reaction would be an Eriq-Lasalle-in-the-ER-opening-credits fist pump

This is what I've been saying. Democratic leadership doesn't want us to know they can do things. Because they don't want to do things. Because them doing things will upset their owners.

Dem leadership: changing this is a difficult process, you fool. You rube. You utter infant. Give us between $5 and $50 Mamdani, wiping grease off his hands: So it turns out there's a switch on this machine that puts it into either orphan-shredding mode or free school lunch mode. Just had to flip it

Dem leadership for generations: no you fool, you infant. It is a process. It takes time and political capital and expertise, it's- Mamdani, dusting off his hands: fixed it Dem leadership: what do you mean you fixed it Mamdani: Just had to unplug it.

Every day Mamdani comes out and is like "hey guys, I turned off the orphan-crushing machine. Literally just had to flip a switch. Took less than 5 minutes." After decades of dem leadership pissing and moaning and fundraising about how complex an issue it is and how difficult the process is etc

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🐢 🕯️ 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

Libs: Ugh I don't understand why Iowa has such undue political influence when it's full of pigshit, corn, and like 10 actual humans. Also libs: How DARE you accuse me of INSULTING iowans? Thin skin much?

Can’t make this shit up! The geniuses at the DOJ redacted Trump in the #Epstein files - but not fully.

On hold with Microsoft support, thought I'd do some googling and whaddya know, Google trying it's best to keep things under wraps 🤣

Liberals: Doing a coup is illegal actually, Trump can't do that!

So we're all on the same page here that Trump just 100% confessed to staging his own "assassination" attempts right?

you're never gonna believe it but were doing this again on blue sky dot app in the year two thousand and twenty six

Dem leadership right now

After watching ICE slip around on actual ice recently, I have to assume most of these "people" are from warmer climates, like the south. The south that is about to be absolutely hammered with winter weather. To a degree not seen since 1993 when power and water were out for weeks.

Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools

I 100% guarantee you if Trump had won in 2020 the libs would be posting their fanfic that "We wouldn't have lost Roe if you fucking purity test leftists had just voted for the nice ice cream grandpa!"

The police aren't saving us from ICE for the same reasons the Democrats aren't saving is from the Republicans.

I keep saying, conservative men are the LeFou to their fantasy of a Gaston. Whether he be Trump, some bro "influencer," or law enforcement. They idolize bullies as avatars for & proximity to power.

Yall centerest ass fucking libs still support this quisling pussy ass collaborator? Still think these fucking Dem Leaders are on your side?

I'd love to say "I can't believe these fucking Dems are thrilled and cheering to donate to George Mother Fucking Conway" but at this point I know in my heart that if Jance Dance "the Couchfucker" Vance switched his R to a D and said one (1) negative word about Trump they'd all line up to donate.

The speed at which they've gone from "Kamala would have NEVER done this!" to "Actually Kamala would absolutely have done this but to Putin and that makes it good!"

Dems are in power: What do you want them to do? The Reps are blocking them at every turn? They gave us one (1) infrastructure bill why aren't you more grateful? Reps are in power: What do you expect them to do, they are tiny helpless babies, how dare you ask them to block one (1) Rep bill???

Tonight, the President of the United States has launched an unconstitutional war of aggression, dooming another generation to spill their blood for oil, and lay waste to a sovereign nation. I demand that Congress exercise its power, halt this conflict, and impeach this war criminal president.

Democrats: look obviously we agree with what he did and would have approved it had he asked, we're just mad he didn't ask 🥺

Hi, I'm AI! Here's a recipe for a non alcoholic beverage that will kill you! I eat up all the power and drink up all the water that disenfranchised human beings actually need! Feed me all the art that has ever been made or the world economy will collapse!

Turns out evil men intending to do tremendous harm to women don't need to be wearing a dress to enter a women's restroom. Someone inform the TERFs! I'm sure they wil be very interested!

If a Dem wants to ask me for money I'm gonna need them to get this released first.

My husband just accidentally updated Alexa and what the fuck is this M3gan ass bitch?

No U

Joke's on you, I don't even have a head. Now who's being ableist?

Urg! I actually love when someone White Knights for some woe is me attention seeking bsky poster for no reason. Makes me wonder why people like that exist in the world. Are you friends? Are you a sock puppet? Are you just also unable to remove abandoned dry laundry from a machine? Who knows?

Urg I hate when someone just passive aggressively posts about some martyr shit rather than just doing what literally everyone else does and take the fucking dry laundry out of the dryer and put it on a table and dry their own clothes. That doesn't get you engagement on the apps tho

Once again the left wasn't wrong, we were just early. Will these centrists humbly admit that they were 100% wrong the whole time they were calling us names and telling us we were just Trumpists in disguise? Lol, let's find out!

Democrats Sick Of Being Blamed For Cowardice On Issues They Actually Just Don’t Care About

"Why would the Dems do this? They are holding all the cards!" I don't know, seems like many of them have been in office for longer than I have been alive, they probably know exactly what they are doing and have been doing it well for decades. Maybe someday you'll finally realize what's going on.

Not wrong, just early

I think if you lose an election for president you shouldn't get to do it again. Go back to the senate, or be governer again or whatever. You had your chance and you lost. If you win you get to run for reelection once. That's it.

And make sure your employer's insurance covers that gyn. And make sure they don't change insurance providers every year forcing you to reestablish care at multiple physicians constantly.

@teenvogue.com unconscionable to fire your politics reporters, absolutely unconscionable

Remember how just a few years ago during the worst of the pandemic when we saw how the govt can actually do big things and saw that our collective health & well-being are intertwined, and then corporations got mad that they lost a modicum of power and helped fund a backlash of amnesia and fascism?

Ashley Hinson is going to claim the government shutdown is causing 250,000 Iowans to lose their SNAP benefits on Nov 1st – but she is lying to Iowans because she and this administration want to use struggling families and starving children as pawns in their political games.

Honestly, it's good for my own sense of "not being in a bubble" to see people I respect calling a Nazi tattoo not a deal breaker. Yeah, I can absolutely disagree with the people whose content I consume. Objectively.

Hey girl, I like you. I've always liked you. This is a bad take. OK?

COOL.