Having learned that Ryan Murphy is currently making a show based on Bret Easton Ellis, I am forced to imagine the spiraling series of Ringu-esque deaths that will claim its viewership.

I have got to stop reading OLYMPIC as OZEMPIC, it is not good for me.

When you’re not at all worried about being poisoned.

Is this a part of the “weave” stratagem that rotting, degenerate hog is always on about?

No, see, the thing is to draw something badly (no need to invoke societal expectations there, it could just be bad) and draw it badly over and over until it becomes less bad, and finally good. This costs nothing but time. And you have to spend the time to make art. Ex nihilo nihil fit, and whatnot.

Someone save me from the news, I just had a moment of panicked terror at a DoorDash message when it looked like my order from EPSTEIN BROS. BAGELS had been dropped off.

Post your favorite "Lord of the Rings" character. Wrong answers only.

Just remember everyone. He has to have it not happen every day, we only have to have it happen once.

Yaaaass mama, werk bitch, on fleek and such.

I love France on all days in all ways, but especially when she’s all, “Don’t make me tap the guillotine.”

You know, I never thought there would be a group of people for whom I would have less regard and greater mistrust than America’s ministers, youth and otherwise… and I still haven’t found one, but about 70% of America’s white population is getting there.

Thinking about whoever said that by accepting a meal from people and then arresting them ICE agents broke a cultural taboo that was invented by, like, the first humans to set up a tent

A little bummed that Tallulah Bankhead's grave is less than 8 miles from my undergrad college, and I never went to visit. You'd think my camp-ass spirit would have been yanked to that lodestone on invisible elastic.

Just a normal guy who wishes he had a lovely, tall, pretty, small little girl of his own like other normal guys have.

On her birthday, don’t forget Tallulah Bankhead’s Bat-villain turn as Black Widow. While the Dynamic Duo kicks the tar out of her spider-themed goons, she sits unbothered, rummaging through her purse like, “where the hell are those Velamints?”

Yet more emails have dropped where billionaires write "Jeffrey my delicious naughty friend, when can we next get together to rape underage females?" and Jeffrey Epstein, the world's most respected paedophile, replies "dis idear nice me am wantin lol loll i jefry bye".

My face when the last fetid dregs of my damned soul are running down my leg, and everyone can see the stain.

Last time I saw a face like this, it was wandering outside the lobby of a nursing home in Denton, MD, yelling at some pampas grass.

"Mr. Frog, what's in Gonzo's dressing room?" "Nothing. There ain't nothing in Gonzo's dressing room. But you ain't got no business going in there anyway, so stay out. You understand? Stay out!" <waves arms in the air frantically>

Happy Tom Baker's birthday to all who celebrate! He's 92! youtu.be/iJeu3LCo-6A?...

Going to the store later, y’all need anything?

when your phone is charging but you think of a good post 📽️

He is surrounded at all times by amoral shitbirds who loathe him. Surely one of them has a needle. Doesn’t even have to be sterile, just load it with good medical darkness and night-night the rotting fucker. Do it tonight.

They are so set on remaking America as a dead-white Anglo country, they've wound the clock back to the 11th century and a war of conquest with the Danes.

If we all start calling him Peggy, it might happen within the week.

we don't have very much but we can strip anybody who works for ICE of any social niceties whatsoever. you find out somebody is with them? they don't get to be ANYTHING to you anymore. and tell them WHY. it SUCKS to be ostracized and stigmatized. please use it on somebody who's earned it for once

✨ It's perfecty legal to refuse to hire forner CBP and ICE employees. Throw those resumes in the trash. ✨

Lena will return in AVENGERS DOOMSDAY

What I learned today: I can never go vegan, because I will never be mature enough for the term “nut milk bag.”

omfg need this immediately

It's that nose-to-tail pro-life movement you may have heard about.

Well, a MAN would ADOPT an unwanted MUTT from a SHELTER, and PROVIDE it with CARE and a HOME, regardless of BREED or his own MICROPENIS.

True love is when one of your Christmas presents is a bottle of Campari as big as your goddamn head.

Because a significant enough number of Americans are so mentally/spiritually stunted and have so little sense of the social contract that there's a non-zero chance any gathering in the square will end with property damage, a brawl, a few arrests, maybe a shooting? Also, it gets too fucking hot.

And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, woke to find himself changed in his bed into a monstrous vermin.

BREAKING: WATCH the full 60 Minutes CECOT segment here. This was sent to me anonymously. It appears to be the segment CBS' Bari Weiss killed. www.muellershewrote.com/p/watch-the-...

I feel like I say this at least once a year, but it seems true every time—I think I’ve just had the gayest thought of my life. Exhibit: “Why is Erika Kirk wearing the sparkly pantsuit Judy Garland got to keep after she was fired from Valley of the Dolls?”

When the crypt doors creak And the tombstones quake Spooks come out For a swingin’ wake

it's 2025 and the gangly guy who appeared on a few seasons of The Office is now our only mirror to society

Lolita Rebecca Dracula

I reckon reverse film snobbery is much more commonplace these days. And the original posting here is a prime example of that.

is tony perkins nuts is janet leigh balls is tippi hedren nards is jimmy stewart family jewels

If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.

If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.

This is a HELL of a user name. Standing and applauding.

I needed both of these jokes to figure out either of them

"They're raping the kids, they're raping the house elves, they're raping the Daleks. This has now happened, God knows how many times in Britain. Miss Marple can't do anything about it. I have to go to the bathroom."

Diane Ladd 😔 Ballsy & extraordinary, RIP 11/29/1935-11/3/2025 Laura Dern's mother. Made history being only mom/daughter pair to get Oscar noms for same film, RAMBLING ROSE. Other noms: *Scorsese's Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (Flo) *Absolutely unhinged in Lynch's Wild at Heart #filmsky 📽

Last night I went to the Puca Festival in Trim, Ireland. It's all fun and games until someone unleashes a giant demonic hare.