went to have a lil lie down at like 3pm and now everything is ruined forever

lifeway kefir you sit on a throne of lies

shoutout to my truly incredible friday morning everything shower. i am once again encased in goo #mygoo

It’s soup season! #art

doctor: you are sad. the B-52s are performing tonight. go see them, they will cheer you up fred schneider: but DOCTOR

I Have No Bus But I Must Venga

There Was Fucking Shrimp Paste In The Allegedly Vegan Thai Food: a last will and testament

it's 2007. you're scrolling your favorite rss feeds in google reader. the internet ad market has led to a boom in mid-sized blogs that can employ tens of writers and editors in a relatively niche subject. you don't know it, but this is the last time journalism will be any good.

You simply cannot make me spend my time on this stuff. Oh the president said Tylenol causes autism? Well it doesn't. No I'm not going to pore through research papers to prove it to you. That's not what my time is for. My time is for playing videogames and gazing lovingly at my wife.

late night snack

aspirational

music for the rapture www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMCL...

imagine if a family of beavers randomly showed up right now and finished whatever thing you've been putting off

OK if we hit 500k we're gonna make a little Tome 4 preview comic (32 pages I believe) and it'll go out with every order for free! This is the cover!! 🍃🌓🔥 zoop.gg/c/irovedouti...

autumn vibes 🍃🍂🍁

Turkey Feathers is best because 1) the color scheme is distinct and 2) more feather can be added as the battle flag of Greater New England incorporates more provinces in the coming War for Second Reconstruction

Daily bunny no.3085 is heading into town

woke up weirdly excited for dinner so hopefully this is a sign that Puking Season is almost over

everyone should try and ship a rarepair at least once in their life. it is very fulfilling work. no fretting about numbers. just pure being unhinged about your favourite characters kissing. you appreciate every kudo and comment because the max capacity of interactions you'll ever hit is 10

A wee dollop

Fuck a bluesky blackout, we need a whiteout. Cum everywhere, a week of moderators being unable to escape The Cum.

holy shit today's the day

ordering a pup cup for my chikorita in lumiose

lrt im still wearing my jeans from 2001 and they are laughably better quality than anything i can buy today for any price

They ruined clothes, and we let them. It used to just be women's fast fashion, but now even men's jeans are 30% stretchy plastic. Most clothes made now are so bad you might as well order them online and get them shipped straight to the landfill to save time.

It is fucked up what they did to the headphone jack

no one in the history of the world has ever been as moisturized as me right now

i fucking love amphetamines

everything went downhill when they took porn off tumblr

what is the evolutionary advantage of making scratching an itch until it bleeds feel so so so good

bringing back marco polo just to show him this

mfer is literally named "rob tombs", did they summon the spirit of the british museum into an op ed writer

Calling peoples' employers in a rage because their tributes to Robert Redford weren't horny enough

BREAKING: Justice Gregory Carro has dismissed the first degree murder charge against Luigi Mangione in his state case, finding the DA put legally insufficient evidence before the grand jury. More TK.

i had a ginger accident with my fruit slop and now i have to make an additional 5 gallons of slop to even it out

TOP TEN CAT BREEDS 1. Super Bingus 2. Tender Loaf 3. Crime Bean 4. Le Squishe 5. Load-bearing Tater 6. Royal Softling 7. Electric Spiceweasel 8. Pantaloosian 9. Tammy 10. Dinky Porch Pebble

despite their constant whining about how "wokeness killed comedy!" and "you can't say anything anymore without getting canceled!" after receiving pushback on their shitty punch-down jokes, none of those failed, hacky, has-been comedians will ever conceive of anything in the same stratosphere as this

jokes about the confederacy are always funny, but you gotta think about it in terms of "Supernatural lasted 5x longer than the Confederacy", which is absolutely hysterical

wow this SUCKS. boxed cake mix *was* so legit and very easy to enhance swapping oil for butter and adding an extra egg and vanilla extract. Now even the 1 egg is going to be the wrong ratio

I think about this all the time

early exposure to fandom wank is basically inoculation

I contracted computer madness in like 2004 so I built some immunity

accidental 10h nap and once again my sleep schedule is mega turbo fucked

jealousy samantha

[the shooter is unidentified] the left must be purged with the sword [the shooter is, again, a compulsive masturbator who loved Hitler] I believe it was pascal who said that the heart has reasons that reason may not know

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?" BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao" 1. "It, um, doesn't say anything." 2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe." 3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

honey, what's wrong, you've hardly touched your festive fall gendered butt wipes