"Small wonder that Clarence Thomas prefers the Gilded Age over the Progressive Era," writes @rbreich.bsky.social. "He’s the living embodiment of the Gilded Age’s public-be-damned excesses."

JFK did not kill himself. He was murdered. The truth is coming for us all. theonion.info

Disney Promises ‘Star Wars’ Fans A New Era Of Blind Stabs At What They Seemed To Like Before

The shooting was the joke.

In Memphis, Tennessee, Elon Musk’s xAI operates over two dozen methane gas-burning turbines without legal permits to power its data centers, Colossus 1 and Colossus 2, polluting the nation’s largest majority-Black city with toxic emissions. The NAACP is suing xAI for violating the Clean Air Act.

White House Correspondents Dinner Shooting tonight.

Today's pod: @amandacarpenter.bsky.social! An election protection threat assessment, whether Trump & Hegseth think Trump is God, whether the anti-MAGA vibe shift has reached West Virginia, raccoon penis receptacles, Jules Winnfield, and more! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a...

There's a war on for your mind. theonion.info

@bencollins.bsky.social, you're my hero. I couldn't be prouder of you.

NEW: Pope Leo XIV told the world’s press today that the Catholic Church’s moral imagination has long been too narrowed to sexual ethics — and that war, migration, and human dignity are the “much greater, more important issues” of our time.

Trump Appears To Doze During Stroke

this thumbnail 🤌 this is not the satire site. this is the real one.

Alex Jones taking everything the Onion says extremely seriously is one of the funniest new genres' of comedy

As someone raised as a for-real Christian, I can say: This is the kind of anti-Christian sacrilege you half expect to be answered with a lighting bolt straight from God. Christians need some counterpart to 'shanda fur die goyem.' Maybe just 'blasphemy.'

Among zillion other shameful aspects of this moment: RFK Jr is graduate of Harvard College and UVa Law School. But no one apparently ever taught him how numbers work. Everyone knows that Trump doesn't know anything. But RFK *has* to know what he's saying is bullshit. Right? Right????

US health secretary’s son launches investment fund tied to health movement ft.trib.al/f4GDB0f

U.S. envoys Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner will go to Pakistan for new talks with the Iranian foreign minister on Saturday, White House says.

EXCLUSIVE: King Charles is expected to meet Mayor Mamdani in New York during his visit next week. The unlikely duo will both attend a wreath laying at the 9/11 memorial in downtown Manhattan.

Congratulations, Virginia! Republicans are trying to tilt the midterm elections in their favor, but they haven’t done it yet. Thanks for showing us what it looks like to stand up for our democracy and fight back.

Agree 100%.

Where is Jake Tapper?

The Justice Department’s Office of the Inspector General will review the department’s compliance with the Epstein Files Transparency Act.

So much false equivalence in media on gerrymandering in Texas vs California & Virginia. California and Virginia maps approved by the voters. That's a huge difference not enough people pointing out

Listen, they are building concentration camps and threatening genocide against a country of 90 million people. There is not a single remotely legal tactic that is impermissible when it comes to stopping them.

Ben Collins before and after taking over InfoWars

If you watch anything today, make it be this clip of @bencollins.bsky.social talking about what real strength is:

The Sandy Hook families deserve so much more but this is a well deserved victory

AOC tiene pinta de enchufarte en la cara mientras te arrastra del pelo y luego te patea la barriga mientras estás en el suelo. Y ojalá se lo haga a RKJr

It's 2026: Intelligent, articulate, principled women are STILL having to deal with ignorant, incoherent, incompetent men in power. #USPolitics #healthcare #RFKjr #AOC #AlexandriaOcasioCortez

Reporter asks AOC What she makes of the Virginia news. AOC replies "Wah wah wah." She responds that Dems have asked Repubs for 10 years to ban partisan gerrymandering and they have said no. She added they’re just mad that they have been accustomed to a Democratic Party that rolls over

The U.S. is blessed with one of the most scientifically and technologically advanced health care systems in the world. And yet, when it comes to health outcomes among the world’s wealthiest countries, the U.S. ranks last. Read "Sick in a Hospital Town," a 2026 Hillman Prize winner:

as it becomes clear that Yes has won in VA and gerrymandering will pass, a message to Republican voters: you brought this on yourselves you convinced the most fairness-obsessed, That Wouldn’t Be Fair-minded voters in the country to affirmatively vote to put you in the dumpster you earned this

Apple Backs Up Tim Cook’s Memories To Port Over Into Next CEO

‘Michael’ Criticized For Depicting Neverland Ranch With Cooler Rides Than It Actually Had theonion.com/michael-crit...

For decades, economists gave short shrift to the idea of monopsony — a power employers can have to suppress wages. Now a wave of research suggests it's everywhere, and a new book argues it's key to understanding today's inequality. n.pr/4e0RHRi

⚡️'It's disrespectful to come to Moscow and not Kyiv' — Zelensky voices doubts as meeting with Witkoff, Kushner expected.

I truly cannot overstate how proud I am of Ben, not just as my partner but as my friend, as a human. He's the strongest and bravest person I know. Also the best cat dad. And when one of the world's worst bullies threatened to ruin his life, he kept going. Because it's the right thing to do.

I'm just Tim Onion's girlfriend, but I can't count how many times over the last year and a half that Ben and his team were looking down the barrel of a terror campaign and possible repercussions by the state and just kept going forward.

The Infowars news is funny, yes. But more importantly, it is an outright rebuke of Alex Jones' evil. It's testament to the strength and resilience of the Sandy Hook families who survived this bullshit for more than a decade as well as the Onion, which didn't give up on this for the last 18 months.

Emails released on Monday by California’s attorney general show Amazon allegedly colluding with other companies to raise the prices of pet treats, khaki pants, eyedrops and other products sold online

If only Iran had allowed a McDonald’s to open in Tehran. By Tom Friedman

Iran will soon have freshly painted schools By Lindsey Graham and the Ghost of John McCain

My colleague Tom Friedman misses the obvious point that the Iranian skirmish is already over. By Bret Stephens

Anthony Scaramucci: “In 11 days Tom Friedman will make another Iran War prediction!" Donald Trump: “In 2-3 weeks the Strait of Hormuz will be open, we will be greeted as liberators, and they’ll just give us the oil!"

We wanted to understand what nuclear dust is. So we talked to three unemployed Joe Rogan listeners at a Wendy's in Toms River.

The next six months in Iran will be crucial. by Tom Friedman

Trump may have closed the Strait of Hormuz. But it's up to the incoming Democratic president to reopen it. --Bret Stephens, January 2029

Sharing tips on what to do you with your boyfriend’s body when he accidentally overdoses during your break up.

Palantir just released what can only be described as a corporate mass shooter manifesto.