Very funny from /r/balatro

I leave for a minute and this dummy decides cuddling my bag is the best substitute

Anyway, sacking Slot in sync with the CL final is a great way to bury the news.

I get that Arsenal’s style is effective and has clearly yielded results. Their cohesion remains impressive as fuck. Anyone who says they wouldn’t want their team to win with said tactics is a liar. All that being said: watching it from the outside still feels miserable.

UCL final pens? No pressure at all

OH: "are you too young for 'seasoned' night at the gay bar, or did you play tribes on dialup?"

get in loser we're getting Reconstruction right this time

running to the Nazi website to complain that people were being mean to you for hitting the red carpet at Nazi Prom

If you get traumatized while voluntarily attending a leisure event run by Nazis a possible downside is a lack of sympathy.

I’m at the combination Comedy Central Roast of Adolf Hitler / Reichstag Fire

If you think AI surveillance cameras aimed at drivers’ faces is a good idea (no matter how well intentioned the justification), you are a naive fool. This data will be harvested, sold to fascists, and used to imprison activists. Oh, and car companies will 100% use it for ads you can’t turn off.

I can't believe there's new Saosin with Cove in 2026 Feel like a fucking teenager again, damn youtu.be/DiWcBc6Ppa0

@terra.gay and @marryis.gay are the absolute best She's going in the curio cabinet right next to Byleth

can't believe we're really getting the taxation of trade routes being in dispute *and* a blockade of deadly battleships

Alex Pfeiffer has been a joy to watch so far for Bay. 2 goals + 2 assists over 3 matches at 17 years old?! Hot damn.

I finally get around to applying the Ghostty update that's been bugging me for a while now and my font rendering breaks. It's that kinda day.

where the fuck has this Liverpool team been hiding. Goals?!

The following things sci-fi writers can learn from gundam 1) logistics make and break wars 2) technology advances in weird, unpredictable ways - things can seem to be powerful but are actually useless 3) you can fit an entire space opera in our Lagrange system 4) make the twink sad

ok who the hell set the bay area to convection show yourself, coward

These people tell on themselves with this. Starfleet Academy is a great show. If you don’t like it, that’s your preference, but the weird Gamergate shit ain’t it.

a thing I love is when randoms have stupid opinions at me about things I like, thinking that I will do anything but mock them. If you don’t like something I like, feel free to tell notepad.exe about it: it cares far more than I do 🖖🏼

holy fuck Chain Bear is back YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS youtu.be/LnG8nJO_WQI

I feel so fucking attacked right now

always so funny to me when people are like “how am I supposed to explain Gay to my kids?” my kid asks me way harder shit all the time. “why did they build the road this way? why are some people bad?” I don’t know. please ask me about Gay

The snow-capped Sierras look pretty nice from here

OH: "if I die with a tastykake in my gullet I'll definitely go to Philly Valhalla"

My god Ekitike is just fun to watch. That second goal is absolute filth. Wirtz is coming into his own is beautiful, too. Amazing assist. Still look shaky in defense, but this is at least watchable.

OH: "at least project when you're mocking me!"

Every time I fly I am reminded that SFO is the best airport by an order of magnitude. Anything else brutally highlights the contrast.

My old, grumpy cat at the very expensive prescription food that keeps her kidneys online: 🙄 When I'm trying to drink a protein shake: hold up, I wanna try I have no idea how this animal reached 20 years old

What the actual fuck even by the standards of the Trump regime claiming to have kidnapped the sitting president of a sovereign nation is the most absolutely batshit thing so far. Hideous crime Moreover, ICE must be destroyed

Remember how appalled we all were in 2022 when Russia completely unprovoked attacked Ukraine? That is what we’re doing tonight with Venezuela. We are the bad guys here. Everyone who supports this is supporting unprovoked murder. Fuck every last one of them

if you went online and asked someone to produce csam and that person produced it and put it out in the public they would all be arrested the same day

taxpayer money going to a kiddie porn generator should be a gigantic scandal, like one of the biggest scandals of our lifetimes

we're back on our Destiny 2 bullshit and I gotta say: still got it after not playing for like a year and a half JOHN WILKES BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTH

THIS SHIT SURVIVED A WHOLE-ASS PHONE REBOOT HOLY SHIT

Really gotta commend PG&E on their dedication to the bit. An email they sent out about testing infrastructure in SF has somehow put my email app in an inescapable glitch loop that continues even after I force quit and restarted the damn thing. I'm honestly impressed.

Guy who’s rich enough to buy off a duchy but not a whole continent voice: for principled, idealistic reasons I am calling for the continent to be abolished in favor of several dozen duchies.

@maryis.gay: “there was a trailer before JJK for the Mario Movie and I knew I knew Luigi’s voice from something we watched recently…” Me: “DID YOU FUCK MY FUCKING MOM BOWSER?”

Finally a good use for AI: making life more difficult for Harry Potter fans

Being on medical leave means I’m more likely to answer the phone, expecting doctors’ offices and shit. Getting a recruiter cold call in the middle of that threw me for a loop for a moment before processing the bullshit being spewed, and goddamn is it annoying.

For the past six weeks, an AI Facebook account has been pulling my history posts on Instagram and slopping out new captions, so I’ve been feeding it poison pills and its followers are having meltdowns in the comments. It’s been pretty spectacular.

Tempest Keep was merely a setback! Hahahaha… a stepping stone to a much larger plan! It has all led to this… My new business!

The way Bluesky works is that everyone is from the country they say they are but all the accounts are operated by versatile actor Jeffrey Combs

“Did you ever think when you first started listening to @themountaingoats.bsky.social that you’d one day be divorced enough to really get them?” @monym.me to me

Ryan Lizza evolves into a Chris Cillizza if you touch it with a Stupid Stone

nope, goddammit, listen, all you, poster bushido demands that you endure this, no cowarding out, you online degenerates, you fucking endure

I love paywalls now.

brought to you by me watching some dadbod almost get dropped on his damn head at Thrice