me seeing all the non-perverts on this app find out what felching is

Alex's house and school in Weapons are about a 15 minute drive from my home

Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me Callin' me, all the time, like Blondie Check out my Chrissie behind It's fine all of the time Like Sex on the Beaches What else is in the Teaches of Peaches? Huh? What?

found a rare hi-res photo of this guy

I'm well aware Don's gonna put Fox News on later and go back to screaming about Islamocommies or whatever, but it's genuinely hilarious seeing him glaze the fuck out of someone Republicans (and many Democrats) want you to be terrified of

Trump ten minutes after meeting Zohran

oh they're SEETHING lmao

we now go live to the Mamdani-Trump Oval Office meeting:

I hope @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social is proud of how he beclowned himself earlier on that socialism resolution.

my jaw is on the floor and yet im completely unsurprised. trump’s only political conviction is that he loves a handsome winner

Me when the guy who’s plowing my wife gets me a new switch game to keep me busy.

sorry, what was that? couldn't hear you over the sound of the FBI jet taking Kash Patel and his girlfriend to a UFC fight

Melania to Donald after seeing the latest round of Epstein emails:

EVERYONE ON THIS APP DROP A SELFIE NOW... AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW!!! it fucken WIMDY

Oreoboros

🎵well holy moly, me oh my to my island Trump would fly he saw and he knew everything🎵

Goon a movie You Only Goon Twice

DONALD TRUMP: You're banned from Mar-a-Lago for being a creep. JEFFREY EPSTEIN: o. ka ,, y . m? ? ? ! by t,he way i have. You r new .' Pedofile Lisense "* u orde4red _in m.y)))))) car + DONALD TRUMP: Thank you, my dearest friend.

don't worry American workers, there'll always be a need for people to make Fell For It Again awards

“Eat shit forever, and if you want us to stop feeding you shit, you’re just dividing us”

unlike the gales of November I'll never come early 😈

it's always two dumb bitches telling each other "exactlyyyyy"

Joyce Carol Oates to Elon Musk:

EAT SHIT FOREVER KIM DAVIS 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

when you're 10 minutes into UNO and chill and he looks at you like this...

reading that someone collapsed in the Oval Office and seeing that it wasn't Trump or Miller

barely a metaphor lmao

Zohran says you’re trans now

it was so sweet of the NY post to make a special commemorative issue

Good morning

good morning patriots

stopped at Bojangles for breakfast this morning but they were out of hashbrowns

This needs more attention: Zohran SPLIT the straights with Cuomo. ALL of his margin was from LGBTQ+ voters. Every Dem who ever said “we should abandon the transes” needs this shoved down their fucking throat with a ramrod.

New York assemblyman Zohran Mamdani confronts Border Czar Tom Homan today in Albany 👇🏻

ZOHRAN: “SO DONALD TRUMP, SINCE I KNOW YOU’RE WATCHING. I HAVE FOUR WORDS FOR YOU: TURN THE VOLUME UP”

Brad Lander is at the victory party and, folks, he has the custom one-of-one “GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE” shirt.

need to go to sleep but waiting for the next Debra Messing IG post

Gentlemen: thank you for your service.

condolences to this person tonight:

BREAKING: 300 foot tall Debra Messing rampaging through Manhattan like the Cloverfield monster

NO MEANS NO, ANDREW

whatever you think of Spanberger, the fact that her opponent ran a campaign based almost entirely on transphobia and is on track to eat shit in the biggest blowout the state has seen since 2009 is unambiguously a huge win

YESSSSS eat shit, Georgia Power

more like Losesome Earle-Sears