I'm reasonably sure that the BTP aren't the actual filth. I'm therefore pretty sure they can't demand a strip search.

The British Transport Police, Britain's Premier Not Actually The Police get to decide who can strip search you. Bring it, cunts.

Oh my word. This would be true if Sergei Korolov had failed to put the first satellite, animal, man and woman into space, or managed the first space walk.

You turn on Kuennsburg's show on a Sunday. There's fucking Farage chatting his shit, like his party has more than five MP's and he could pick out his constituency on an actual map of his constituency.

When Trump finally strokes out I'd like the septics to ponder how little encouragement the police took to go "righto". Can't have a police state without the police.

With the best will in the world, Arnold town centre looks a bit post-apocolyptic, so it's not unusual that when Asda drop the shutters about nine-ish it feels like you're shopping during The Mist

There's an unspoken "and fuck off" after the self checkout says "please take your items", isn't there?

"You need an accountant mate. Saved me more in tax than he costs me". "My mum's been waiting six weeks to see a consultant". "State of the fuckin' roads though. Criminal". Same guy.

Unsurprised to learn that my elderly former in-laws are big fans of reform. There's some big "from hell's heart I stab at thee" energy there.

Just imagine how many rooms there are in the whitehouse where he's drawn a picture on the walls using his own shit.

You can chase the Reform vote @uklabour.bsky.social, but they hate you and they're the arsewits responsible for you spreading the nation's cheeks for mad king satsuma.

A magical time to be a fat sod in a check shirt.

Anyone know the Russian for "I dug up your nan and fucked her skeleton"? I want to get this postcard right. www.thelondoneconomic.com/news/russia-...

Amazing scenes in the carpark today.

"You appear to be having a heart attack, go and sit quietly in a library for a bit" 💰

A movie that's takes place where you're from (or as close as I can get)

Were they 'protesters' though?? Realllly...? 🤔 ...Or were they just fed up citizens who frustrated by not being a given a chance to ask valid questions?

How did I not know Neil Young was married to Darryl Hannah?

Just waiting til the Brexit lads hear about this attack on our sovereignty.

GCSE revision is going well. Me: if you times through by -1 then the > turns to a < The Boy: since when? Me: this is literally how numbers work. By definition you must have changed a positive value negative and vice versa. The Boy: I don't believe you. I'm telling mum.

Silly photo comic for the 2 ppl who might be amused by it.

Why is the pink moon orange?

Struggling to parse "breast trends". Presumably you won't be able to move in Oxfam for big tits and copies of the Da Vinci Code.

Playing the sounds of giggled corridor whispers as I bathe to feed my fetish for being an unrespected king in a time of hopeless war

Hours of fun here torinak.com/qaop/games

I don't remember the last time I was this emotionally invested

Elizabeth Harbottle was known as the ‘grey lady’ of Wyke Hall. The family lands covered some 215 acres just outside Sandal near Wakefield, and when Elizabeth was born in 1818, it was into a world of genteel aristocracy that was soon to be swept away by a new wealth of industry and commerce.

I'm honestly not sure what the labour party is even for anymore. "most of the country wants closer ties to the EU. Which we take to mean that we should spread our cheeks a bit wider for mad king satsuma".

I'd take the piss out of the septics, but we have local elections coming up, and what's going to happen is labour, who have been pandering to potential Reform voters will lose to those grifting shitwits.

I'm reminded of that quote attributed to Karl Rove about "the reality based community". You can analyse this shit all you want, but maybe first get the chimps out of the fucking cockpit.

You don't have to watch Adolescence. Mike Flanagan's stuff is still right there.

You can't even have your own son nailed to a cross any more. Because of Woke.

Hats off to Katy Perry for going to nearly space, say I.

Worthwhile 🧵 on Lincs steel

A very strange UK politics where it seems the two traditional parties are targeting the same ~20% of the population and nobody very much cares about the remaining 80%.

Clicked on a link to astory on the local newspaper website. Superb work lads, completely unusable.

'Why are high fertility people always so weird?' A weekend with the pronatalists

If you’re interested they’re here: The Hotel – fifteen eerie, modern gothic tales: bbc.co.uk/sounds/series/m000mrcg Thwaite’s Tenant – a haunting village story with a feminist edge: bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001qf3z

"Complete fucking prick applauded by audience of complete fucking pricks".

Surgeon: what did you have in mind, Mr Rourke? Rourke: you know the video to Winona's Big Brown Beaver by Primus? Surgeon: say no more.

We should have both, a successful country needs both. The endless reduction of everything to a series of binary yes-no answers is infuriating and not how anyone actually thinks, is demolishing all that is good about Britain and leaving us prey to con-artist scum like Farage and his cunt friends

Don't know who needs to hear this, but vadge is a valid wordle word.

That bit earlier this week when the septic's education secretary referred to AI as A1. Like the road heading north or the shit condiment. These fuckers have literally no idea what they're talking about. Like, not the first thing. This is terrifying.

Imagine that.

James Joyce Picked Drunken Fights, Then Hid Behind Ernest Hemingway

Just been talking to @ianfreudian.bsky.social about Curve. I think we should all take time out of busy lives to think about Toni Halliday.

I'm watching Monster Squad. The Draclear looks like Keir Starmer.

Looking forward to Pulp's forthcoming single "Shit Second Album".

I think the funniest thing that happened tonight was someone approaching me and saying "my friend Debbie says she knows you". I went over to say hi to Debbie and Debbie said "Oh no! NO!". Hate to burst your bubble Debbie, but you're not the first person to say that.