I would much prefer life giving me lemons over everything currently going on is it too late to sign up for the lemons?

My new book of science cartoons, PHYSICS FOR CATS is out in a week! Order a copy today from you local bookshop or at one of the links here: www.tomgauld.com/comic-books-v2

On National Poetry Day, the greatest poem I have ever read

Utterly grim secret filming of racist, violent and misogynistic Met police on BBC1. The undercover reporter must have balls of steel. Don’t much fancy his chances around town after this 😳

There’s a musician bloke on Portrait Artist of the Year whose songs have apparently had six billion streams on Spotify. I just hope he doesn’t spend that £16.50 revenue all at once.

I get a monthly invoice for a web service totalling $0. This is weird enough but what seems weirder is being invoiced for zero items at $1 each. I could sort of understand being invoiced $0 for an item I’ve used, but it seems unfair to be billed for something I haven’t, even if it’s free…

Weird ghost Teams meeting with manager, who is on holiday. They hadn’t cancelled it, and I couldn’t be sure they wouldn’t be there regardless. When the meeting started, I couldn’t believe it. But when I joined, manager wasn’t there. It was that shitty AI notes app that had started it.

Does anyone know how to relax

People always say "stop doomscrolling," nobody ever says "stop the Doom" Doesn't even cross their minds.

“He moved, spoke, gestured and breathed as if he knew for certain that behind the drab winter clouds a different kind of sky was waiting, and that beneath the exhausted and frost-bitten ground lurked every imaginable flower.” apple.news/AFXfwny7ZTti...

This is sad. Saw him read and talked to him a couple of times. My hero back in the day when I was writing poetry. RIP. www.theguardian.com/books/2025/s...

This whole section really.

It's ludicrous. They have a huge majority and they're nearly 4 yrs out from at GE yet they're allowing the media and Farage to control the narrative as if the election is in November. Stop dancing like marionettes to the pied cunt of Clacton's tune and get on with running UK PLC.

120 metres per second? That’s quite a claim (May not have read this headline correctly)

Another bunch of spineless tech nobbers www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

Nicked this from Ian McMillan, who’s still propping up the nice corner of the other site. Wish I could be there. “Bottomless crunch” is gold

Just fuck off with this. How about start the conversation by highlighting how much immigrants contribute to the UK - not least by propping up the NHS and social care system! Also - forced volunteering is not volunteering, it's unpaid labour.

“Supporting racist policies does not make you a racist” is a top tier line for the Labour Party going into the week. Should go all the way and just make it the official conference slogan. Get that stuff drilled into Starmer’s lectern.

“Be kind…for everyone you meet is fighting some moronic battle on the Internet “- Buddha (“ARGUING ONLINE 2016”, 45.5”x93.5”, charcoal and graphite on paper)

Sky News and the BBC repeatedly mention the "migrant crisis" in doing so they are normalising and legitimising far right talking points. There is no "migrant crisis", there is only migrant hysteria, which the British media is feeding into instead of countering.

"Conference is a really big opportunity to make our case to the country" Mate you get that opportunity every bloody day and you cock it up every time. Why not just save everyone the bother

I see today's Wordle exploits not only British ignorance of US expressions but also the British sense of fair play as it suddenly decides proper nouns are acceptable.

I hope there will come a day soon where it dawns on someone in Starmer’s team that their strategy of communicating “Nigel Farage is right about everything but please vote for us instead” is fuelling these disastrous figures rather than mitigating them, but today is not that day

It’s ok folks, the digital ID cards contract is in safe hands

“This entire process was never about me. It was never about any threat to the public, it was never about terrorism – a word used by your government to discredit people you oppress. It was always about Gaza, about what happens if you dare to speak up.” www.theguardian.com/music/2025/s...

So they could write off this debt and still have £510bn profit. Unbelievable.

Petition: Do not introduce digital ID cards petition.parliament.uk/petitions/73...

Starmer (lighting cig, pouring scotch): oh god, we’re tanking in the polls, everyone hates me from both right and left, I’ve broken all our promises, I’ve had to kiss Trump’s arse, Andy’s after my job, Morgan’s on his way out… what’s the one thing that’ll fix it all?? I KNOW! Compulsory ID cards!!

My preferred shower gel was rising in price at Tesco for some time but was still about £1.80, or a shocking £4 at Waitrose. Then suddenly the tables turned and it’s now £2.25 at Waitrose and £3 at Tesco, but for 25% more. I got the latter but think I’m now paying about 30p more by volume…

Apart from the, you know, *outright racism* of this myth, have you ever tried catching a swan? Have you ever tried getting anywhere near one? Or smuggling one home under your jacket? Or frankly going to all the effort of cooking such a huge bird?

Well yeah, but… isn’t this what a Labour government is supposed to be doing anyway? www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

As the Your Party thing rumbles on, it just feels like an uphill battle launching a new left-wing party anyway when the Greens are already fulfilling that role. I guess if Jeremy wasn’t such a big figure in it all he’d have just teamed up with them as a normal MP, but he can’t *not* be a leader 😑

Sorry, refuse to live in a timeline where news outlets fact check whether Royal swans are being eaten by migrants. Put Farage in a cupboard with a mic and let him talk to the walls. Leave the rest of us out of it.

FB memories tell me that 17 years ago today I was wearing "emergency deodorant" and wondering whether this was actually better than wearing no deodorant at all. Ah the good old days when we had normal concerns...

We’re living in the shittest timeline right now and it’s all because it’s being directed by the shittest people. Let’s create a new one for ourselves and live in that one instead. Seriously why are we putting up with this absolute garbage

Behold the epic jug of tap water I was given when dining alone at Pizza Express

Why is misinformation about paracetamol on the front page of every news outlet, without a mention of the fact it's misinformation?

Hate the way people talk about autism. Deeming it unhealthy is eugenics. Is it really the worst thing a child could be? You think vaccines cause autism so you'd rather risk your child dying of meningitis? You'd prefer your child to die than be autistic? Horrible ppl.

Launching next week: “Kennedy” brand ibuprofen - proven 110% safe for pregnant women

Every time I see one of these I think it’s a viral marketing campaign for a French band

Surely as long as you’re fast enough it doesn’t matter?

All the Labour cabinet falling over themselves to congratulate the prime minister on recognising a state every other civilised person recognised decades ago

In Danish, if something was extremely boring you could say det var dødens pølse. It means “that was the sausage of death.”

Scientists talk about "gravity" well I just fell up the stairs, explain that Steve Hawking

Just discovered a 10-minute interview with Jenny Saville on iPlayer, the programme Alan Yentob was working on when he died. Wish he’d been able to finish it. www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

Just remembered I had a long dream in which I was hanging out with Banksy, who lived in Germany somewhere. I wanted to tell everyone about it, but of course I couldn’t.

So is Your Party a sort of student society that nobody can agree on how it’s meant to be run? Or did they actually agree and Zarah’s being squeezed out? Or, is Zarah a secret agent for the Green Party? Stay tuned…

omg there's a sequel

Watch Brian Eno's Together For Palestine benefit w/ Damon Albarn, Portishead, Sampha, Jamie xx, Neneh Cherry, Paul Weller & more www.brooklynvegan.com/watch-brian-...

To be fair I don’t know the meaning of “struck out with a woman” either, but this is more likely because I’m not American