Movies in which Sally Hawkins develops a profound emotional relationship with a sentient nonhuman who’s under threat of capture, and a regular bathroom gets filled up entirely with water like it’s a fishtank

Andy Cohen looks like shit

To watch all the NFL games next year you'll need: CBS FOX NBC Peacock ESPN Amazon Prime Netflix Hulu Paramount Plus AppleTV Minus Disney ExactlyTheSame The Rice-a-Roni app LG Model 3120G Washer/Dryer with CleanSwish™ Tumble-Pro Technology 2000mg of LSD that allows you to access The Phantasma Realm

Man Horrified To Find Self Seeking Community Online https://theonion.com/man-horrified-to-find-self-seeking-community-online/

It’s extremely cursed to watch an HBO show from the brief period when the opening credits just say “MAX Presents.” The “Democratic Kampuchea” of streaming.

“Alexa, show us an interview you couldn’t pay us any amount of money to watch”

GRITTY TAKE ME WITH YOU TO SPACE

A persons character is best measured by the number of holes in their amusing socks.

A hospital treating a GSW with a gun is the weirdest hair of the dog approach I’ve ever heard of

yeah man, we’re all just dummies who don’t understand that you’re just judicial monks operating in a sphere of pure law [puts finger to ear] what’s this, clarence thomas gave another speech blaming progressives for hitler?

My favorite moment in the rise and fall of any chain, when it goes from "we do this one thing and we do it well" to "FUCK IT WHAT DO YOU WANT? WE SELL THAT NOW."

Doctors Confirm Rudy Giuliani In Liquid But Stable Condition https://theonion.com/doctors-confirm-rudy-giuliani-in-liquid-but-stable-condition/

“MICHAEL ends in the Bad-era”, which is a funny way of putting it.

@marchurboston.bsky.social Signage is up for a new Daily Provisions location where the Pret A Manger user to be (pre-pandemic) on Boylston (next to the NYSC) in Back Bay.

I… think we all have an idea what the plot of the live-action adaptation of Tangled might be?

All these people have ever wanted was for white men to be the only Americans allowed to vote. Supreme Court working overtime to make that a reality. When we get these people out of power, forgive and forget can’t be an option. They will never stop fighting to regain that bad old America.

Let them all in. D3 schools too. And high schools, who cares. Rec leagues. Make it the FA Cup but for terrible basketball. www.espn.com/mens-college...

Happy Age of Innocence/Dangerous Liaisons Day to all (I) who celebrate.

Disney's choice is very simple: become an Ellison-like pariah in their industry by lining up w/ the most unpopular president of all time who happens to be headed for catastrophic losses and impeachment in 6 months, or stand up for their talent and lead the corporate vanguard to neutralize his power.

When doing research for Burn It Down, my book on patterns of exploitation & abuse in entertainment, it was sobering--no, demoralizing--to read, every few years (for *decades*) a "Scott Rudin in a changed man" feature. Relying on Rudin & people who wanted to do business with him for that narrative.

The blockbuster success of Michael alongside the lack of consequences for those in the Epstein files in the same year is a shockingly clear sign of where we are (and a signal it could get even worse).

Shipping companies say the Strait of Hormuz is closed. An elderly convict who regularly shits himself in public says it's open. For busy Americans, it can be hard to know who to trust.

I asked X, Paramount, ABC, and Meta where their donations to Trump's Presidential Library went. None of them could give a clear answer. Tens of MILLIONS of dollars are missing. Why should Americans trust that this money isn’t going straight into Donald Trump’s pockets?

👏👏👏

"...The signature line on the check just says 'wife?'" "Yes. I am wife. Take wife's money for radio."

If would be amazing if "Death of a Salesman" ended just one night with Laurie Metcalf screaming "DAD'S DEAD."

In the ninth episode of The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins, Craig Robinson refers to Daniel Radcliffe, to his face, as "this Elijah-Wood-looking-ass bitch." I am running out of new ways to recommend this show.

Gonna be a lot of people whose last words are "Is...that...Nicole Kidman?!"

This is a thing I've had to deal with a lot, people will say about a guy I reported on "oh well at least he apologized." In all cases, the guy Did. Not. Apologize. Sometimes they've used what I call "remorse-shaped phrases" that are not & never were actual apologies. Which seem to always get a pass🙃

Impeachment. 25th Amendment. Donald Trump must be removed from office.

If you did not enjoy today, then call your reps and senators tomorrow and say this 👇

25TH AMENDMENT TODAY

If this is real. If his thumbs actually typed what is below... Citizens. Senators. Cabinet. The President of the United States is out of control. He is beyond reason or amelioration. We might really, really, really, I'm trying not to shout or capitalize here, really want to address this.

you, a naive fool: i do believe there are some things the nytimes won’t both sides the nytimes:

Bet on yourself www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

"What will be the next world-changing Apple tech? Spy glasses, spy necklace, or spy headphones."

Happy Day of Replying to People’s April Fools’ Posts with Just “You’re Better Than This.”

There is no ethical consumption of HBO’s Harry Potter series

I was just looking for something on Google and it said "People Also Search for Brenda Vaccaro." I don't know if I will ever write a novel, but if I do, dibs on this title.

1st year of congestion pricing—drivers paying $9 fee to enter Manhattan below Central Park: • 11% fewer cars & trucks, traffic 5% faster • NJ tunnel traffic 51% & 25% faster • 9% fewer people injured in crashes • 17% fewer noise complaints • $548M revenue for subways-busses • 9% more subway riders

This is going to put a lot of pressure on Shapiro's fellow 2028 contenders to come up with their own dumb things that don't matter. I can't lie; this sets a high bar.

"I'm doing my part!"

He started a war, didn’t know how to win it, was immediately over his head, became quickly overpowered by an enemy he vastly underestimated, and now is trying to sue for peace and then convince you that this was a victory. Dying empires produce leaders like this

Amanda Peet is a very good writer. www.newyorker.com/culture/the-...

Concentration camps. Use the term. Do not stop using the term until this current American regime falls and the camps are liberated. Then use the term in The Hague. This is Trumpism. This is white nationalism. This is he moral gutter into which America has fallen.

I dare anyone to watch any episode of last year's "The Residence" and say there isn't a mandate to narrate the show for distracted viewers. There are minimum 6 flashbacks to events from THE SAME EPISODE in all of them deadline.com/2026/03/netf...

What an odd coincidence…