Trump sure does look unpopular. Welp, time to cave to each of his insane demands

Said in the same way you say "The Aristocrats!"

“Populist” is doing a lot of work here

Wait, isn't this just QWOP? (sees Bennett Foddy's name in the credits) Oh, it is.

Sometimes, you want to go all-out on breakfast.

"There are no public image problems at Target."

This is what winning capitalism looks like. Eleven people will haunt empty kingdoms while everyone else starves and burns. Congratulations, Elon, on your high score in a game no one should be playing.

Oh God. In the words of @jongraywb.bsky.social, y'all come eat!

Obviously this is ridiculous as a policy for employees but also as a customer my blanket preference from any people working in any store anywhere ever is “leave me the absolute fuck alone” Smiling?? Eye contact?? TALKING TO ME???? Absolutely not!!!!

It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out where the "Venus" in the name "Venus fly trap" came from.

”tell me youre a fuck you god wealthy kid who’s been around a bunch of overdoses, without telling me”

just a small town boat getting stuck in SOUTH DETROIT

I'll just let the experts do all the explaining. #SNAP

A Sharon Begley byline, almost 5 years after her death. Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written." Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating. 🧪🧬🧫

40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion

Congratulations Espurr, you have joined Chansey and two-time entrant Basculin in the "shiny Pokémon that successfully ran from me" club. Damn it.

all of this is also true for sexism. you tell me you think women are biologically less smart and i’ll suspect that i could probably convince you to drink your own piss

Trans ideology or lyrics to a theoretical death metal song about that carnivorous sponge? YOU DECIDE.

Bari Weiss Has Been Getting Much More Attention Than Me and I Did Not Care for It by Ross Douthat

It only just twigged on me that Truman has been extra snuggly and purr-filled today because I've had a very stressful week and it's really been showing today. I don't deserve pets this caring.

Happy five year anniversary to this momentus political event that in no way foretold the dumbassery we now find ourselves in.

I would say this is the bleakest thing I've read all day, but this is the worst timeline.

Fact-Checking Claims About Zohran Mamdani https://theonion.com/fact-checking-claims-about-zohran-mamdani/

This is a good chunk of why Mamdani's campaign resonated for a lot of my friends. We like living in a city, and it's tragic just how many have been priced out. bsky.app/profile/bren...

It shouldn’t be forgotten that a big piece of Mamdani’s campaign was simply “cities are cool and lots of people enjoy living in them” which in and of itself dismantles alot of rightwing talking points

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION WANTS TO STARVE YOUR CHILDREN on billboards nationwide. Absolute political lay-up. Malpractice not to take it

If there's anything I hate in tech, it's when developers rearrange menus without rhyme or reason. Brought to you by me realizing Pokémon Go rearranged what order they list berries in the menu.

Nuremburg trials is the moderate position

Our politicians did more to regulate Prince and Twisted Sister songs than glacier melting chatbots that promote suicide

Day 311: Ope, I'm gonna be drawing animals badly for the foreseeable future (sorry in advance) Keep the suggestions coming in the comments!

Look, at this point, we've strayed so far, I don't even remember what God's light looks like.

This is how I'm gonna look every time someone hits the dislike button on one of my posts.

"World's first potential trillionaire has killed 600,000 people, including 400,000 children" is the only headline that anyone should ever read about Elon Musk

Weekend at Bernie's (1989)

Look, the 80s had some great tunes with the sax, but the only correct answer is Careless Whisper.

great day for the legal theory of "not guilty if it's funny enough"

I think the editors of this piece put Reilly on a strict one-pun limit on this story, but to his credit, he picked a good one.

What's really depressing me are the people who think this doesn't count because it doesn't use Impact. There were memes other than All Your Base before I Can Has Cheesburger, folks.

the question nobody with a soul is asking, answered by people nobody wants to hear from

Did Brett Kavanaugh write the Spelling Bee today?

lol

Oh, hey, Punch-Out fans, I think we found who Glass Joe won against!

I've been seeing articles about how pollsters had a bad night last night. Should I give into temptation and check in on how a certain talking head with a self-admitted problem with gambling on basketball is doing?

*jaw drops* My God, it makes perfect sense.

This really hasn’t gotten enough attention this week. @wired.com #ICE www.wired.com/story/fbi-wa...

Sometimes, I feel bad for refusing to interact directly with that account that posts cute dogs. Then I remember when they renamed a dog with a Middle Eastern name, and then they tried to claim they did it because OTHER people are racist. So screw it, I'm for ethical engagement farming.

Wonder why this scene looks so familiar... #WildlifeWednesday 🐦🐕

Oh, man, Pilot just had to make a beautiful pen and hit all the right notes in the marketing just as my household is trying to tighten our spending.

i will never vote for Gavin Newsom. i want every other politician to look at how badly Newsom destroyed his own political career by pivoting to fascism & see it as a clear warning that the dignity of marginalized people is not negotiable.