Little late but there goes the neighborhood

why does retvrn to tradition always mean prairie dresses and fedoras but never temple prostitutes and transsexual oracles

Couples with joint FB accounts have trust issues, and couples with joint Bluesky accounts are swingers

“After I save the day, I go back to my hotel room for a little tea.”

With a knife, you can get yourself a phone any time

husband finished his lego vespa set !!! 🛵💓 1,106 pieces !!! i am very proud 🥹

This is not my beautiful mouse This is not my beautiful knife

I stink

Anyone got some loose pills I’m trying to liven up my Monday morning

Why do people rake leaves?

I feel crazy how much it bothers me when my kid mixes up his toys. Like they should be in order! And separate!

Apparently I’ve been wallowing for the last 3 years. Whoops

The department of social services in MO is so insanely disorganized it seems almost intentional…

“you have to understand that his life ended when those containers fell on him”

Preliminary results from the Denver Basic Income Project that's providing cash to hundreds of unhoused people for one year using the first 6 months of data: • NO ONE receiving $1,000/mo still sleeping outside • Full-time employment increased • Fewer visits to the ER • Fewer nights spent in jail

“That very special wake”

When are we gonna get the Timberlake weezer single

oh god jack black as tom bombadil this would work especially if u believe the wild conspiracy theory that tom bombadil is also secretly the witch king of angmar

I don’t mind being 30 yet

halo baby

*resets bluesky counter to zero*

this baffled musk. this baffled musk even more.

I did it! I finished the lord of the rings!

I love this bird. Thanks Aidan!

Why do people think aliens would look like weird humans. Most species on this very planet don't even look like us

I hate being sick but sleeping all day is usually my goal. So, successful day.

I refuse to piss on my own time. The boss can pay me for that

I’m so out of touch it’s bananas

I’m so fed up it’s bonkers

please support my friend rhea’s father with a donation or share!!

"WIC is important—so where does the president suggest we cut in order to provide these additional WIC funds?" where indeed??? www.propublica.org/article/how-...

it may be the case that the only people left in this country who aren't intimidated by Elon Musk's power & wealth are the brokeass shitposters who dunk on him here all day

Goodbye and thank you for your service. 😢

Thank you Harvey Kornblum food pantry. You really are the best

Happy #StarTrekDay to all who celebrate!

I can’t bring myself to finish lotr it’s so depressing

Should I be annoyed or proud when people call me a faggot

[2035] ME: We used to burn music into flat mirror donuts that played the songs when you shot lasers at them. KID: Okay, millennial.

it’s fine cause he ain’t got no soul

Sometimes I just gotta wonder man..

A murderer tries to stab me but with each thrust of his knife I block it with a sweet potato and after six stabs or so I gently place it in the oven at 400 degrees for 45 minutes

My mommy made my lunch today. What the fuck do you have

Strutting around the helmet store with a sassy grin and an open head wound because I know I'm the ideal customer