i’m sorry but threads is way better than bluesky. don’t complain to me about meta when jay is a freak lol

sorry, can't. I'm busy turning a barely noticeable pimple into a full-on wound.

happy autism acceptance month i’m pretty sure every single employee at our store is on the spectrum including our manager lmao

hey what is it about me, personally, that is attracting so many crackheads?

drove past a school shooting as it was happening yesterday. triggered a lot of ptsd symptoms from when i was a bystander of a mass shooting as a teenager. i was 13. the same age as the shooter who is now in jail for second degree murder.

boss to a human employee when they make a mistake: you're fired boss to a computer when it makes a mistake: you are a delicate flower capable of love

not ‘shopped. not cropped. not stock. straight from the phone of stormwater inspector Lindsay Schiel snapped yesterday at a basin in Hudson.

don’t talk to me or my son ever again!

scotus hasn’t been real or legitimate since obama was blocked from naming a judge 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

my haters are providing me with soft bedding material for my enclosure

bluesky the evil website for your evil thoughts

everyone is so dumb and angry all the time

being lonely doesn’t feel good. i dislike missing my abusive ex husband.

hi does anyone want to be friends

if any hot & cool people out there thought they were going to die alone, i’m sorry my divorce took so long anyway what’s up how’s it going

there should be a priest who blesses you by taking a huge vape hit of holy water and then blowing it on you

chucky cheese is dead. it's time for Charles Entertainment Cheese.

hmmmmm i think i’m ready for a boyfriend. i would take good care of him and take him on walks and clean his litter box regularly.

but then what would the customers complain about to me, a minimum wage drive thru employee not affiliated with any part of the app making process

business is booming!!

my small business rescues abused gorillas and teaches them to safely handle and ignite fireworks of all sizes. DM me to schedule a demo of our current pyrotechnic ape lineup

eating a Warrior's Breakfast. (any breakfast i eat is a warrior's breakfast)

they should make a sesame street episode on when it is and isn’t appropriate to make suicide jokes

it’s been a long time since i got into an argument in the facebook comment section but it’s funny to me to see someone start posting like Donald Trump because they thought horses were wild animals

came across the words “little diminutive man” on wikipedia…

Peace, doting wizard, peace!

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How incredible: “The full delivery took about 30 minutes. For hours afterward, pairs of whales held the baby above the water until it was able to swim… What struck the researchers was how many mother, sister and daughter whales united to support the new calf, even ones that weren’t related.”

he is a serial rapist with 10 women who have come forward so far

good morning

close friend who’s been struggling with infertility is pregnant and my first reaction was to tell my husband and my second reaction was to remember he’s my ex and a loser and my third reaction was to tell bluesky ok send tweet

as a ‘’’boy mom’’’ i’m pretty sure whoever came up with “girls are just naturally more mature/intelligent than boys” was a pedophile

guys there are so many worms outside

pimping myself out online so i can one day afford to buy a mattress

I need an evil sinister MILF to feed me ice cube

me to my cat

Shit is pretty bleak right now. We need a new kind of cheese

my ex husband is a booger of a human being

i told my son that the author is a bully and you literally could not pay him to engage in anything harry potter related. he is 5. i’ve tried telling him that if he wants to read it or watch it, we can, we just won’t give them any new money, but he still has no interest.

Liberals will forgive the confederacy for trying to uphold slavery, But they will never forgive black ppl for freeing ourselves

my older coworker calls me Princess in the MOST Han Solo tone of voice and it cracks me up every time

alright buddy listen up. in this world its milk or be milked

(worf voice) ICE agents are worthless despicable people, who by their choice of career have utterly disgraced themselves; there is but one honorable course of action available to them, but... (clenching teeth, visibly frustrated) i am bound by Community Guidelines, and can say no more on the matter

what up sluts

hey bluesky i forgot to tell u i dyed my hair grey ok bye bye

you know it's a queer function when the food and drink is some random bullshit like ginger ale and bananas

halsey: if i can’t have love, i want power me: if i can’t have a baby, i want a milkshake