Cousin Banjo
@stagecoachslim.bsky.social
📤 160
📥 127
📝 134
Named 11th funniest talking banjo by AARP Magazine.
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The thing about me is I just got my teeth cleaned, and now I think I'm better than everybody.
over 1 year ago
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I am Cousin Banjo. plinka plinka plinka
13 days ago
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I wrote a whole song about sandwiches and didn't even rhyme Cuban with Reuben.
14 days ago
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Fonzie origin story
18 days ago
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A wise man once said, "There'll be no healing from the art of double-dealing. Armageddon's back in town again."
23 days ago
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This cup of coffee is a little bitter, but don't worry. It's nothing four heaping tablespoons of Swiss Miss can't fix.
24 days ago
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My wife has this crazy thing where she stops eating when she feels full.
30 days ago
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Young toughs have organized once again to kick me in the seat of my pants. My pants!
30 days ago
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Goodbye Orange Cream Coke Zero. We hardly knew ye. All that's left are the crazy memories. You were only on this earth for a limited time.
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Cousin Banjo
Hit me up if you're looking for a podcast guest who is in no way interesting, amusing, or particularly well-informed on any topic.
3 months ago
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Am I depressed? Is the Pope Catholic? Does a bear shit in the woods? Did Big Country make guitars sound like bagpipes?
about 1 month ago
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Cousin Banjo
molly conger
about 1 month ago
'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once
add a skeleton here at some point
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Cousin Banjo
Swim Jeans 👖
about 1 year ago
My neighbor Randy saw his shadow today so it looks like we’ll be experiencing six more weeks of drunken front yard kung fu
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Look, I need something to write home about, so spare me that crap that's nothing to write home about.
about 1 month ago
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Cousin Banjo
slop enjoyer
about 2 months ago
greg bovino will replace dan bongino in the broadway adaptation of the bing bong brothers
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WHEN I SAY "DURAN!!" YOU SAY "DURAN!!"
about 2 months ago
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Cousin Banjo
Vituperative Erb
about 2 months ago
I do think that a possibly underrated dynamic in The Horrors is that the Right as it has reconstituted itself under Trump legitimately can’t understand sincere moral or physical courage
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Perhaps you remember me from my '60s vocal group, The Shitty Lettermen.
about 2 months ago
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Teenaged me used to imagine that Columbia House order pickers were marveling at my good taste in music.
about 2 months ago
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As I understand it, there is a contest tonight that pits college against college. Well, may the most learned prevail!
about 2 months ago
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Well, it's Saturday night You're all dressed up in blue I been watching you a while Did you use that dry shampoo?
about 2 months ago
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Cousin Banjo
[C][M][F]
about 2 months ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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Ruin a band by changing one letter: Herman's Permits
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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Notes from my visit to the Wendy's drive-thru in Sycamore Saturday night: ▪️The guy on the speaker taking orders sounds exactly like Jonah Hill. ▪️I spilled some Frosty on my key fob when going from my car to the house. My key fob might be the worst thing I have ever tasted in my life.
2 months ago
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Cousin Banjo
Alicia Hawkes
3 months ago
[Me realizing Paul Giamatti is doing the voice of John Adams in the new Ken Burns Revolutionary War documentary] Oh FUCK yes
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Hats off to the surgical nurses at Kishwaukee Hospital in DeKalb. One of them shaved my belly three and a half years ago, and the hair never came back!
3 months ago
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Hit me up if you're looking for a podcast guest who is in no way interesting, amusing, or particularly well-informed on any topic.
3 months ago
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The way I dance like no one is watching is like someone is watching.
3 months ago
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Cousin Banjo
Amy
3 months ago
i hope santa’s reindeer have been bulking up, i want a bathtub full of spaghetti and meatballs for christmas
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Cousin Banjo
mave
3 months ago
Between shopping and wrapping and baking, I can’t keep up. Not to mention being trapped inside this haunted snow globe
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Cousin Banjo
feral hat
3 months ago
Anybody got a good lead on where I can have my sterling silver sporks monogrammed
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Please check out my band, Sausage Casings Stuffed with KitKats.
3 months ago
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Just like this Doritos Loco Taco from Taco Bell, I will inevitably fall apart.
3 months ago
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Show of hands -- who am I kidding?
3 months ago
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Cousin Banjo
It's Abby. Yep
3 months ago
I'm not saying life is a vicious circle. But it may be a cruel rhombus. Or a callous trapezoid. At the very least, life is a bloodthirsty parallelogram
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Cousin Banjo
I look like Col. Sanders if he ate his delicious fried chicken 24/7.
5 months ago
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Cousin Banjo
It's nice to meet you. I'm a man out of time.
about 1 year ago
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I rake to forget.
4 months ago
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I think I know why we're all here. It's to discuss the snail's pace that's been adopted at the DeKalb, IL Taco Bell drive-thru, right?
4 months ago
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Cousin Banjo
mave
5 months ago
If you’re currently lost in a corn maze, your best bet is going to be hunkering down for the night
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I look like Col. Sanders if he ate his delicious fried chicken 24/7.
5 months ago
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Do I have debts no honest man can pay? Yes. Will I go see the Springsteen movie on its first day? Also yes.
5 months ago
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I'm in a trance AND I'm in a transom. I'm in 2 things. Please help me.
5 months ago
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if role model is the alternative, gimme bad bunny 8 days a week
5 months ago
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You guys know I float on air?
5 months ago
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I'm going to a police station in the 1950s for sandwiches and coffee. Anybody want anything?
5 months ago
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hella sad, dog
6 months ago
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I use a lot of product in my white hair. Otherwise, it will be all puffy and leave me looking like a Q-tip or my late mother-in-law.
7 months ago
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Cousin Banjo
Mrs. Betty Bowers
7 months ago
The United States could have great things like this. But we like to spend our money on kidnapping people and trafficking them to concentration camps instead.
#Priorities
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This place is rife with sexual insinuendo and double bubble entendres.
7 months ago
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