they didn't even get the fucking kerning right

Diana Ross was not on my short list of people who’d show up in these files

HO HO HORROR ❤️

You might be thinking, "CPSC, does a dry Christmas tree really burn that much faster than a well-watered tree?" Friend, let's find out together by watching this PSA.

Well, that was a ride.

Benoit Blanc taking my cat's side in the case of I Have Never Been Fed Once, Ever

President To Rename Don Jr "Trump Trump Jr"

So now it’s not “potentially divisive”? I can’t keep up with

You know that feeling when you’re not sure whether to cry or shriek to call down the heavens but don’t do either because you can’t even breathe? And you’re only bearing witness after the fact? These women. The girls they were. Shattering.

Still waiting on an apology from Oprah for him and/or Dr. Phil

Jimmy Fallon will be playing the role of Cesar Flickerman

Muting a Black woman to claim the vote was unanimous is so incredibly on the nose

“EVERYTHING IS GREAT, AND IT’S ALL BIDEN’S FAULT,” he yelled.

It sure is a great nation when the guy in charge gets on live TV and screams nonsense at us for almost half an hour and we're all breathing a sigh of relief that he didn't announce an illegal war.

My New Year’s vibe is “at peace but will absolutely disappear if necessary”

This could have been an email.

I have no idea how SNL, Alexandra Petri, or editorial cartoonists can hope to improve on this

Tonight’s predictions: Cover or otherwise hide The Hand. Mention peace prize. Plug Melania’s movie. Hateful remarks about 2+ nationalities. Merry Christmas/affordability is a hoax. Economic indicators all are perfect.Time to invade Venezuela, which was actually ours this whole time anyway

Staggering. @propublica.org management what are you DOING

brb headed to the sage store again

FINALLY

please I beg of you

Dear Content Creators LAPEL. MIKES. ARE. FOR. LAPELS. If you need a handheld one, get one. Thank you for your attention to this matter

‘tis the season

*i adjust my pith helmet as i take a knee in front of a troop of cub scouts* your parents will probably deny this but if you point a laser beam into the exact center of a falcon's eyeball it will turn into a trans am driven by a guy named craig

I do love quality alt text

We were born to smile.

This is not “informed consent,” this is three+ random posts in a trenchcoat

Especially poignant tonight

Oh my gosh you guys NOW I’M IN THE SPIRIT 🎄

Extraordinary courage from Ahmed al Ahmed, a Muslim, 43-year-old father of two, who bravely risked his life to save his neighbors celebrating Hanukkah. Praying for his full & speedy recovery. And so deeply inspired by his example.

His math is off (D=47%, which makes the gerrymandering more egregious) but even a stopped clock etc. etc.

The start of Covid’s 7th year is the perfect time to revisit the pandemic hobbies you have abandoned: you can get back to baking and puzzles, you can get back to reading and calling your friends; and you can even get back into doing what you can to protect other people.

design is awesome

LinkedIn, what are you doing? It’s like [your algorithm] doesn’t even know me

LOOK!!

There isn't a single problem "solved" by edtech that couldn't be fixed with smaller classes led by well-paid teachers given real academic freedom

I think 2023 is my favorite ❤️ 🦖

Simultaneously loving the teamwork and curious about where it may lead

MORE OF THIS PLEASE. And tragically, that wouldn’t be difficult, given all this administration has done

GOP efforts to make this the most idiotic timeline ever continue apace

ffs

TOP TEN REJECTED STATE DEPT FONTS 10. Rubio 9. Tragic Sans 8. Covfefe 7. Fulgencio Handwriting 6. Soviet Underwood 5. Atlas Shrugged 4. Mussolini Neue 3. Von Ribbon-Trop 2. Foam Party 1. Trumpf Dingbats

Timeline cleanse. This is darling ❤️

Oh no, will he have to stop his midterm rally tour?

The University of North Carolina System may require all instructors to publish syllabi starting next year. “Calling instructors 'work for hire' & stripping them of copyright is a surefire way to turn creative thinkers into widgets." - Abigail Hatcher, AAUP UNC-Chapel Hill

So the US just seized an oil tanker off the coast of Venezuela. On its way to China. Finishing out the year in the most 2025 way possible fml

Happy Ada’s birthday to all who celebrate! 🎂

Note to self.