white people love going to breakfast and saying “got here before the church crowd”

“Welcome to another episode of This Old House. I’m

Heraclitus wants to be Rupi Kaur so bad

bowled a high score of 44 last night 🏆

it’s fun to be my friend

aaaaaand they’ve announced a reunion tour

she deep on my vein til i thrombosis

i love the mars volta

the ratio of pimento cheese to pita chips that i have in my kitchen is extremely lopsided and it’s stressing me out

number 23 and 24

it’s tattoo time you dummies

Despite my many complaints about our country I'm an optimist about it. Did you know bidets are getting more popular here? There's hope for us. First we will fix our Asses, then we will fix our hearts

Trump’s racist white trash lawn party is pathetic enough on its own but against the backdrop of all the beautiful cross-cultural and sportsmanship moments from the World Cup it’s just like…lol imagine being such a dork-ass bitch you fucking losers WILL NEVER WIN WHEN IT COUNTS

what i’m doing on my day off: standing patiently in my yard with a bird feeder tray on my face, hoping to see birds up close. no luck. i’ll try again tomorrow.

good morning losers

The Jalen M. Brunson And The John F. Kennedy Memorial Center For The Performing Arts

The Knicks only lost one game in the last two months and it was the one Trump went to lmao

hate to admit it but the knicks winning in this specific instance somehow feels like a win for humanity

“i love sitting” - paige desorbo and also me

was just at a red light listening to thot shit real loud and a guy pulled up next to me and started rapping at me and yelled HOT GIRL SUMMER FUCK MIKE BRAUN (our hideous governor) and then peeled out

just passed a group of teens on my favorite trail and one of them yelled BODY TEA and did this at me 🤏🏼 so don’t try to tell me SHIT today

i love how busy the birds are the morning after a big storm

favorite summer pastime is a cool evening shower and then in bed while it’s still kinda light out

do…do i want a porch goose?

was the shocking health scare a bad balayage job?

running for office on a single issue platform and that single issue is that restaurants will be fined and shut down if they call mozzarella sticks “cheese logs”

I went from reading a few books a year to around one a week. I wanted to write down how I got there, how it involved rethinking my relationship to attention, and why I believe reading books can heal your brain. I hope this gives you something useful! johnpaulbrammer.substack.com/p/how-i-lear...

stayed up way too late thinking about what aspect of my life would freak out a time traveling medieval peasant the most. probably all my books.

my most toxic trait is my unwavering belief that i could pull every single one of my celeb crushes

(texting my friend Evil Larry) me: what's up dude Larry: matters most vile

keep catching myself accidentally rooting for the knicks

Your presidential boos

rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead to their conservative families but running a lovely antique shop in vermont

just got home from my godson’s graduation party. feeling old and sentimental. time is a thief.

didn’t know @ginerso.bsky.social was in my neighborhood

Ascent of the Blessed, by Hieronymus Bosch, 1500-04, 📸 by @jeffhaynesmedia

getting angry about how handsome kyle chandler is and how regular men pale in comparison

there’s a line for the bird bath but this teenage cardinal does not care

carl radke is my dream man

we don’t talk enough about how ducks wag their tails

BRO CAN CLIMB??

cool moth friday

big lou: turtles-knower

i’m on a nice summer afternoon hike and stopped to look at a turtle with a cute little family. we chatted for a while and as i was walking away i hear the littlest boy say “that lady sure knows a lot about turtles”

it’s fun drink friday you losers!!!!!

as if i needed more bad news, my olympic volleyball crush got married