Poltergeist scared me so badly that I stayed up all night reading two books to distract myself (extremely on brand for me)

Gentlemen, you can't report in here! This is the White House Correspondents Dinner!

So, like, they faked another attempt so he didn’t have to talk in front of journalists, right? And maybe also so they can demonize the press some more?

Not that I was upset about that or cared about it at all.

Eze goal with Arteta’s reaction #Arsenal #AFC #Gunners #COYG #ARSNEW #EPL #PremierLeague

What a fucking goal, Eze take a bow

Eze!!

My plans for the day!

Imagine doing this shit and thinking you’re the good guy. This article is a must read. Really good reporting here.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, ADHD edition: Currently keeping my phone off and in another room, and using noise canceling headphones attached to my TV, on my second loop through the Lord of the Rings soundtracks. All on top of two big deadlines that would normally give me more focus

lrp if you haven’t watched Logan Lucky, what are you doing with your life. In the top 10 best heist movies, easily

Next year will be the 10th anniversary of this joke still not being dated. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssj_...

I have to have severe focus on work the next 3-4 days, so my phone will mostly be off. I swear to god if it happens and I miss it

YALL. There is a charitable organization in Chicago that donates books to women’s prisons. My boyfriend introduced me to it!!! Yall support!! This is AMAZING. Women’s prisons do NOT get anywhere near the donations men’s do. That’s why my own organization exists. LINK HERE: www.cbwp.org

Even our fixture list looks like it's mocking us.

Card him for taking his shirt off

The next 45 minutes will have way too much influence on my mental health

big Gabi and Haaland hate each other and I think that’s beautiful

KAI HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Arsenal, please play like you did in the fall

So Palantir are like Fascist fascists i see yeah maybe we shouldn’t integrate the nazi computer into the NHS

What in the hell went on in the Everton Liverpool game that stoppage time is 11 minutes??

I need you to know that they just added this sentient slice of salmon to the Hello Kitty game

This is Catherine Zeta-Bones. She lives in my neighborhood and has a great sense of style. Other skeletons envy her T-shirt collection. (Andersonville, Chicago)

My birthday falls on or near Memorial Day, so I tend to have it off anyway.

I feel like, in a sane world, you don’t get to make a speech like this and then keep your forever job on what is supposed to be a politically neutral court

Resharing since Katie Miller keeps creepily posting about teen pregnancy rates

That “where the hell is my husband” song is like the evil ADHD earworm final boss. I’m not sure I’ve ever even heard the whole song, but lately my brain does the “I would like a RING yeahIwouldlikearing I would like a bigandshinydiamond” bit over and over. CONSTANTLY.

If they keep hacking at Max like this I’m calling social services.

“It’s been a … less exciting game over there” truer words, lady

both matches are on drugs, just very different kinds of drugs. maybe opium vs coke?

Update: any single time you close Outlook and reopen it, it turns on Copilot again. AI can go to hell

that’s not ominous or anything

Another morning of ICE sightings happening around Chicagoland and the northwest burbs as yes, they are still here, operating under the surface as they were before Bovino's spectacle.

Accidentally bought a Cherry Float Coke Zero? It’s pretty good, better than cherry vanilla, four stars

As the replies point out, this is what Arsenal are doing, but at the other end of the table 🤣😭

I’ve turned off Copilot in my Outlook settings three times today, it keeps turning itself back on.

Missed out on the Jack White presale tickets, terrible way to start the week. How are concerts so hard to get into lately?

Your Kindle's not obsolete, it just needs a jailbreak — and I'll show you how it's done You can transform your old Kindle — even a bricked device — into the ultimate open-source reader. Here's how. www.zdnet.com/article/your...

Not even Troy did that have some goddang dignity

Here’s my theory on Nolan’s Odyssey movie: the fact that he put them in pants is all the proof I need that it’ll suck.

I’m going to the movies for the first time in too long, but an early matinee is eighteen?? dollars???

Time to go back to sleep and pretend none of that happened

me the rest of the day

Maybe the true Premier League title are the friends we made along the way