Gm

Was playing Lego Batman last night and I was convinced this was the funniest line of dialogue I’ve ever heard. Revisiting a day later and just confirming I was right

Would do anything for Tom Loftis, mayor of Widow’s Bay

Jamie Ding, famed Jeopardy contestant and noted housing advocate, as a guest judge on Interior Motives

Doing at home testing is crazy. Why’s this Q tip up my ass at 12:44 pm. That’s a 4pm onward activity

10 musicians you’ve seen live: Lucy Dacus x4 Dolly Parton* Charli xcx* Kacey Musgraves* Cupcakke* Lady Gaga Foxing/Hotelier Chappell Roan Ethel Cain Mitski *seen within 9 days of each other

Took tomorrow off on a WHIM I’m feeling FREE

Bookmarks for my summer’s book club picks 😄

Eye exam this morning I hope I pass

So excited!!!!!!

My company’s 40th anniversary party is tonight, and our horrible boss who left 6 years ago is coming!!! I genuinely can’t wait to see her. I hope we throw champagne at each other housewives style

LOOOOOOVED this

Where are we buying decent underwear these days divas

The government should let me buy one of the new USPS trucks. They are cute and I would like one.

The heftiest of beagles taking a nice nap

Our poor dog is going through it. Upper respiratory infections caused him to develop pulmonary hypertension. Makes him pant all the time and reduced mobility. On steroids for the URI that makes him hungry/thirsty all the time and need to go to the bathroom more. His whole body’s fighting itself

Had an impromptu winter/spring/summer/fall movie marathon today

Bandanas are DIY hairlines when you’re bald

Rock the lobstah

Morning divas

First morning run in ages. Let’s pick this habit back up!

Used my Apple watch for the first time in like a year to Strava a run this morning and it’s not syncing to my phone. What’s even the point if I can’t share my data

Capping off a relentless three weeks with a cold brew, some beer, half a gummy. Need a cigarette to truly ascend

Medically it’s fat boy, gay guy, diva, sister, girl who poops, bitch who shits

Long ass week concludes tomorrow with a 3 hour drive to Myrtle Beach at 6 in the morning to film for approximately 20 minutes and then come back home

This rooooooocks

I’M ACTUALLY KINDA FAMOUS

A single episode of Arrested Development has Jane Lynch, Julia Louis Dreyfus, and Amy Poehler. Incredible things

About to report mass UFO sightings in Columbia, South Carolina to activate the Phoebe Bridgers tour spawn point

Freshly shaved head on the pillow mmmmm

Fun life update: both of our dogs now take Viagra for completely different medical issues 😄

Sorry but if you want to have political influence you need to get out of your left-wing bubble on Bluesky and start converting eight year olds to Marxism on Roblox

You can’t be a woman in 2026 without a limited 10 week engagement as Mary Todd Lincoln in Broadway’s OH MARY

The Jonas Brothers are so in debt what happened

SOBBING

My copy of parade of horribles just waiting to be shipped im crying fr

Drove half an hour away for an appointment I have been waiting months for. Got there, checked in, taken back, only to find out they referred me to neurosurgery and not neurology, so they couldn’t do anything for me. Incredible use of a morning!

Finished my reread!! 😄

Happy Mother's Day! 💎✨

Got a work thing this morning so naturally I woke up 3.5 hours early worried I’d miss it

Me about never being called up for jury duty

Got this lovely little tennis bracelet that goes with my wedding band 😄

Me and Phoebe Bridgers both being in a very alien focused time of our lives…

Pentax 17 calling to me like the green goblin mask

Women!!!

ROOOOOOoooOooOoOoOoOoOock music

Bring your own lampshaaaaaaaade somewhere there’s a party

Complained about AI at work today Coworker excitedly ran to me to show me an image he had GPT make of me I crumpled it in his face and told him not to do that again 😄

Previously Unreleased Chapter Of The Bible Announced