When ppl talk about sports on here. Go to threads please and keep that stuff away from here.

The one thing women will not forgive? Having low self esteem.

Why is being single embarrassing. Like i didnt do anything wrong. Im just single rn

Should i heal and move on? Or go find a girl that looks just like her?

How does Hayley Williams just get hotter and hotter?

Matched with the bartender at my favorite cidery. Is it meant to be or is she just horny asf?

Find me at whole foods bitch is my new line

fellas just know that if she says “no expectations 😊😊😊,” that means you can def hit on the first date

My love language is anything anyone is willing to give me

Ull wake up at a gurls house and her phone will ring and shell be like "hold on its my Boyfriend be quiet for a sec."

Girls will be like i know a spot and its the cheesecake factory.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but forced effort is no match for the vibrant beauty of natural growth. Stop forcing things. If it doesn't grow naturally, then just let it be. Maybe you can try another time, or maybe it just wasn't meant to be. 🤷🏾‍♂️

Since the Ezra & Ta-Nehisi discussion is still happening: the main point I think most are missing is that Klein is saying the role of the journalist-intellectual is to do strategic politics, whereas Coates says the role of the journalist-intellectual is to tell the truth

I knew it was over when she took me off the Spotify duo.

god's not going to save you kitten

Telling girls i listen to faye webster so theyll sleep with me

Im the Gavin Newsom of taking cute girls to french restaurants and then fucking them on their period. Im on the side of the angels but im actually a sick fuck.

siri play my bedtime noise

Why do girls always say “take care of yourself” when they break up with you?

The only way to stop a bad guy with a grease fire is a good guy with a bigger grease fire

I am not afraid of hell i am from Connecticut.

your gym teacher and your english teacher are getting married

no more courtesy likes. be funny

getting a free abortion at the woke cracker barrel

I have a headache (sexual)

They don't make shampoo orgasm commercials like they used to.

Pro tip: right after you hook up a girl for the first time ask her “what are we?”

when someone I thought was normal says "seed oil"

When trump is president it feels like when umbridge is headmaster. Just oppressively sucky

White women be like wanna go slack line. And honestly no. But i mean fuck it. Why not.

How do you say sorry to someone you failed?

Forgot that inside that icon theres still a young girl from Essex

Being handsome and crazy is the worst combo. Girls love you for one second. Then they hate you because they thought they liked you. And then theyre hyper mean. And your like I was the same bitch the whole time. You said you liked me. Emotionally exhausting.

He’s saying this because he’s a Nazi and thinks Jewish people control Trump not for any correct reason you fucking imbecile why the fuck are you promoting his fucking content you stupid fuck

Nothing better than cracking open an ice cold beer and seeing what's inside

Right after you make her cum ask her to open her mouth and then spit in it. Then thank her so that when she talks to her friends about you she’ll say you’re polite.

She would not love you if you were a worm. Stay up kings.

Ryan Gosling is not saying no to that shot. Stay thirsty kings

Wake up and take a shot of that irish whiskey. Fuck it. Bond would do it.

Its 5pm Friday somewhere

Friday 5pm is a grindset. Stay up kings.

Friday night is a mindset.

the democratic party would not love you if u were a worm

These bandwagon buccees mfers. Yall were on sheetz s meat last year. I dont trust ppl who switch up like that?

it's 2005 I'm posting lyrics on myspace. it's 2015 I'm posting lyrics on instagram. it's 2025 I'm posting lyrics on bluesky.

Im thinking i should show pearl to my mom

When dating women i ask them their hogwarts house. If they answer gryffindor i will break up with them.

fedex is definitely the major carrier with the most "we're not sorry we lost your package" vibe

they truly don’t make guys like ozzy anymore man. guys who somehow radiate innocence and wonder despite having lived in unimaginable depravity for years. a rare vintage. he will be missed

A woman doctor told me I would be destroyed by the thing I cherish most