if the mta sold F/M swap merch they'd be funded for the next decade

Color feels about right, not sure about the rest

Also I’m shockingly still a little tipsy despite stopping 2 hours ago

My hot straight coworker flirts with everything that moves it’s great

Trying to convince my manager to promote me

I’m drunk at work hh oops

Susie Wiles is like Elaine Stritch’s Wario

Your email could not find me even if I had stolen something of great value from the East India Company and it was sworn to stalk me to ends of the seven seas to effectuate its return

Oomf is suggesting I be unhinged online for the rest of 2025 and he might be right

Gonna peasant max this weekend and make some borscht/beet soup

In the end I did not do it. Sometimes I wish my brain would let me make “poor” financial decisions that aren’t poor at all

I want more Kip in season 2!!!!!

Another Republican speaker losing a motion to vacate the chair followed by weeks of chaos to elect a new one?? I will be seated

We'd be better off if impeachment was closer to a vote of confidence than a trial

crazy that we are going from the 90s revival into the 2000s revival so quickly (eating disorder glamorization, illegitimate wars of choice)

Showed up with treats today after submitting my evaluation for performance review yesterday 🤫

me looking at my pile of laundry i need to fold

Tbh I thought this would be much more popular than it turned out to be

ceterum censeo twink delenda est

My dick may be average but my credit score is exceptional ✨

reading comments on Wicked and the lore on Reddit is so funny because like it’s a musical movie based on the musical based on the book based on the movie based on the book - I just don’t think any thing is canon lololol

I’m alive and only mildly traumatized!

My parents are visiting and I have so much content for my therapist next week

Heated Rivalry for tennis but also make it irl with Alcaraz and Sinner

I genuinely think ep 3 of Heated Rivalry was miles above ep 1 and 2. I know it’s the source material but having a condensed storyline with actual character and plot development was refreshing

They didn’t need to make Jorgen von Strangle that hot

Nothing beats the validation of the dentist telling me I take such good care of my teeth

Need arm strength to roll out dough for lamination 💪

I love commuting in winter and seeing people looking good in their long coats and professional outfits on public transit

I hate arrive at work before sunrise and leave after sunset season

Everyone is 12 theory strikes again

Strolled into work at 8:30 and two of my coworkers had been there since 7:30

Never defeating the allegations

every skeet is a cry for help

Certified freak, 7 days a week. (I passed my certification exam 3 days before submitting my performance review, pic unrelated)

Bringing PlanesGays and TrainsGays together this holiday season

Eternally grateful to be in the microgeneration that had Grey DeLisle as Vicky, Sam, and Azula on Nickelodeon

I was told today is a favorite ck jock type of #mcm

wtf nytimes

Gonna make a dashboard to track metrics on my thirst traps so I can optimize for validation

Defeated the in-laws at scrabble because I have a pathological need for adults to think of me as smart

Why are they making Kornacki do map stuff during the dog show

The arc of the universe is long but bends towards B2B SaaS

Something a little more understated for #humpday today

Good morning, say it back

Today is hump day, the day we celebrate her

Huh so I guess that’s why Avenue Q won Best Musical in 2004

Since I switched to a left handed forehand in tennis I’ve noticed significant improvement in my control and consistency of both shots. I think I’m finally making actual improvement

Nothing beats Sunday morning quiet map game time when we sit on opposite ends of the couch playing our respective computer games

Mamdani and Trump are just two dudes from Queens and it’s really funny