In reflection, these leaves fallen across a puddle, have found a way back into their parents’ arms.

I do love my neighbour. I was just absorbed in the crossword when I heard what sounded like growling and banging in the yard. Looked up and it was my neighbour swinging a large axe and shouting “Here’s Johnny”.

Can’t help but feel that this could be better expressed … or perhaps better punctuated.

Just finished the Guardian cryptic crossword without any cheating. This must be what standing on the summit of Everest feels like!

If it were tea would it be PG Woodlouse?

“You really have the most exquisite pair of…eyes, Amelia” said Mr Brownlow. “I don’t think you’ll find them down there,” snorted Jane. #GirlsOwnCC

My cat sofas are at the cheapest they have ever been... Grab a bargain for your cat! #BlueskyCats #Proofofcat #Catsofbluesky #Caturday #BlackFriday www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Craf...

Enjoy the Sunday caption contest. Give away ❤️s, retweet to encourage more competitors, include #GirlsOwnCC

Someone at church made me a cup of coffee today and, although I rarely drink coffee, I thought it would be churlish to refuse. So, I forced it down, balking only at the crunchy bit in the dregs which turned out to be a woodlouse. 😱😱😱

This bird looks like it’s about to post its new makeup and contouring video.

Very grey and unnaturally still out there.

The Creature from the Lack Balloon.

Bought myself a rather glamorous leopard print hat in the hope I would look like Elizabeth Taylor but, instead, I look like Edna the Inebriate Woman.

Next-door-but-one have put their house up for sale. (Not my fault this time.) The estate agent blurb describes the village as being full of ‘independent eateries’ and ‘trendy bars’ and now I don’t think this is the kind of place I want to live.

Retailer:1. Thank you for your order. 2.Your order is being prepared. 3.Your order has been sent to the courier.Courier: 1. We have received your order. 2. We are preparing your order. 3. We are dispatching your order 4. We will deliver your order on….(wrong) Aaaargh! All for a £4 secondhand book?

England’s historical past surrounds us. The evidence is everywhere No more so than the ancient estates & deer parks What’s missing is a witness that links us to it And then there they are, hiding in plain sight

Our biggest ever Christmas gift section including decorations for the Christmas Tree and 2026 diaries www.masato.co.uk/collections/masato-christmas-2025 10% off coupon is Welcome apply at the checkout #christmasgiftguide #shopindie

Every year at Christmas, my dad would drop the turkey getting it out of the oven so one year my sister made him some oven gloves which she embroidered with ‘SH’ on one hand and ‘IT’ on the other.

Could it be you? New vacancy listed on Lib Dem website: Campaign Organiser (York)

A reminder on the Feast of St Hugh of Lincoln that an adult swan can, and will, break a man's arm.

Everyone’s favourite - the ‘Wolf and Twins’ mosaic from Roman Aldborough (Isurium Brigantum) depicting the legend of Romulus and Remus. Dating to the 4th century AD, the mosaic is now part of the collections at Leeds City Museum. 📷 My own. #MosaicMonday #RomanBritain

See also climate change where radio 4 used to wheel Nigel Lawson on to provide ‘balance’.

Now if all the 20 million BlueSky users will re post this post it would be utterly marvellous. The counter is ready to start, so off you all go! Handmade prints available here> littleramstudio.etsy.com *sits with expectations of lots of noughts next to post* #art

In the room, the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo. Better than looking at the ghastly paintings. #GirlsOwnCC

Enjoy the Sunday caption contest. Give away ❤️s, retweet to encourage more competitors (pretty please) & include #GirlsOwnCC

We don't do #blackfriday as we are an indie we cannot compete with commercial companies that work with unfair practices of sweat shops We do have a #clearancesale though which we hope you can take a look at www.masato.co.uk/collections/... #shopindie #colourfriday

How could anything anyone said possibly damage Trump’s reputation?

This BBC kids tv advert from 1998 is still very impressive and very lovely

It’s hard to imagine a better concept for a film. The word ‘mysterious’ is not really adequate in the circumstances.

Philosophers described by Peep Show - YouTube www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHxw... h/t @dailynous.com

This plucky little plant is growing on the roof of my car. I don’t know whether to feel proud or deeply ashamed.

Daphne’s been staring at me like this for a good 10 minutes. I’m beginning to find it a bit unnerving.

There are some truly excellent captions this week. Well done, everyone! X

Joseph is wanting to revamp his bathroom so I suggested he contact Pedro who did ours. He asked if I had copies of quotes/invoices so he could get an idea of costs. I pointed out that it was 2016 and the only documentation I have is a video of Pedro’s mate Jose playing flamenco.

Is it just us or was Alan Carr KILLING IT in last night's #CelebrityTraitors? Like a true butterfly, he transformed to show his true colours! 1/6: #TheTraitors

I genuinely don’t understand the point of giving someone a trillion dollars if they’ve already got more than they could spend in a lifetime. It’s not as if they’re going to want it to eliminate hunger or provide clean drinking water or health care because that would be mad.

This is what Joe’s put at the front of his dissertation: “Thanks to Mum and family for showing me how to be curious.” I’m hoping this means “questioning” and not “odd”.

This morning I found a small weed growing on the roof of my car.

Oldest selfie in your phone Me wearing a moustache made of my cat’s fur August 2012 So attractive.

“It is syphilis! Well done!” Things I didn’t expect to hear on University Challenge

I will never get my head round macaroni cheese being a side dish.

Thank God I don’t have to go to one of these grim parties where rich women with desperate face lifts have to watch while their tedious, fascist but rich partners ogle young girls parading around in their pants. Which circle of hell is it?

A rare sighting of Daphne who basically lives like a teenager- spends all day in her room emerging only to demand food and then slink out into the night. I found myself saying to her the other day “You treat this place like a hotel”. I was met with a blank stare.

“Please, Mr Tennyson, have patience. I’ll listen to you recite The Idylls of the King in a minute but first I want to find out if Black Beauty and Ginger escape the terrible peril they’re in.” #GirlsOwnCC

Looking into Philippa’s beautiful face, Mr Darwin had sudden terrible doubts about the validity of his theory of the origin of the species. #GirlsOwnCC

Enjoy this perplexing illustration for the the Sunday caption contest. Give away ❤️s, retweet to encourage more competitors, include #GirlsOwnCC

Excellent column from Stewart Lee.

As in previous years, this year for Halloween I’m dressing up as something terrifying in the extreme: a woman slightly past her prime who won’t shut up.

Could whoever is playing Jumanji at the moment, pack it in?

Last night I dreamt I had to host a wine tasting evening but only had 5 bottles of cheap white plonk; no fridge; no knowledge about wine except what I read off the bottle labels; no food and six already cross punters to delight. Still, I’ve had worse evenings in real life.