Went out to pick up a prescription. Came home with a tub of ice cream, gf chocolate chip biscuits, caramac chocolate buttons and a "small" portion of chippy chips (enough to feed three people.) Oops.

According to their website, Lidl do not sell orange juice. WTF?

I was having a sword fight with baguettes when the bloody cat woke me up. Now I'll never know why this was happening.

Connections Puzzle #1069 🟪🟦🟨🟩 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟪🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟪🟪🟪 "Palm" my actual feathery arse. 🙄

My husband just now, forced to watch an advert-"what is it with cunts and dancing?" And that's why I married him.

SALE!! #Cats #Catsofbluesky 🚨ALL CAT SOFAS 35%OFF🚨 for 2 weeks only, cheapest price ever! >>>>>>>> craftysharp.etsy.com

ARE wimmin

I rather fancied going to see the play 1536, but shelling out the thick end of £200 a ticket seems extravagant.

I didn't know you could do that with eyes

There's a quiz show on BBC 2 now and one of the contestants is called Pooee. 🫤

Anyone know anything about prickly pear cacti? I have one that is growing like a beast and has been for years, yet the lower branches (if that's what you call them) have started turning a little bit yellow on the leaves and two of the leaves have small black spots. Top ones still very healthy...

Image search pasha caterpillar. I don't think you'll regret it. Reminds me of Dougal from the Magic Roundabout if he were trapped in a yellow sleeping bag and wearing antlers

Decision, should I take paracetamol so I feel better and possibly overdo things, or should I not take them so I know where I stand and behave accordingly?

I bought a dress with beaks all over it.

Who do they think would vote for this shiny-faced boy in his estate agent's suit? You only have to look at him to know he's a cad.

Made a tea of small sage leaves, frozen grated ginger, honey and lemon juice. It's actually quite nice and very soothing to the throat.

Tomorrow it'll be four weeks since the start of this fucking virus and I'm still as sick as ever. Lucky I'm retired and don't have to worry about losing my job at least.

Talking about Starmer: she must fucking love going to court.

Several badgers have rejected two overcooked new potatoes. Discerning customers.

I sound so much like Marge Simpson with this virus that I've started calling the husband Homey and Wilf "my special little guy". Seems a waste not to.

Nearly just bought some gingham shorts, I bloody love gingham, I don't know why. I bought gingham shorts before, years ago, thinking I would look a bit Daisy Duke, alas it was more Archduke Ferdinand and back to the shop they went.

If, like me, you're the sort of person who can't contemplate the thought of starting another working week without first seeing a red panda being weighed while being distracted as it's fed some tasty apple, then stick with me, my friend. I've got you covered 👍

@stillwaving2.bsky.social happy birthday. 🎂

I love that Paloma Faith has dressed as Napoleon for the #BAFTAS

The greatest tweet of all time. So accurate 🤣

I found this and it may bring a smile!🙂 This is called the "feather-drying dance of the Great blue Heron"

Drunk enough to enjoy SNL UK.

Well fucking bully for you. 🙄

Dangling over my head. So relaxing.

I wish hantavirus would clean my house.

Dreamt I was my great grandmother travelling through the afterlife with her husband. They wandered into an area where the dead could eat again, feel textures etc. They made lots of friends but in the end they felt it wasn't for them and moved on, it was too much like life, and they'd done that.

What went right this week: the good news that matters. #PositiveNews www.positive.news/society/good...

Can't prove this but maybe the reason for Attenborough's longevity is that whenever Paddington arrives to shepherd his soul on, he fends him off with his powers of nature narration. "The perplexed ursine psychopomp withdraws, his hunt unsuccessful. Perhaps a 1970s bass player will make easier prey."

This dog was a three term mayor of Whoville.

Well, that woke me up. The gas ring under it wasn't on so I don't know what caused that sudden explosion.

This is one of those great sentences where you can put the stress on any word and enjoy it differently

Can't believe I got this highly yankified one. Connections Puzzle #1062 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟦🟪🟩🟦 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟩🟪🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟪🟪🟪

To celebrate Sir David Attenborough's 100th birthday please do enjoy this clip of the legend himself meeting a quite incredible bird guy. Happy Birthday, Sir Dave! Here's to another 100 years!

The man in the polling station had such pretty eyes that I've accidentally come home with a pencil.

I chuckled

Mayor Perry's secret plan to privatise Croydon's public parks insidecroydon.com/2026/05/06/m... #Croydon #CroydonInCrisis #Tarzan @cprelondon.bsky.social

Bloody hell. 😥

Unlike the hapless reviewer on 'Front Row', I had been aware of #Zurbarán since time immemorial, but I thought of him only as a religiose painter of tenebrist saints, so I was pleased to hear that the NG was hosting an exhibition of his works, pursuing a suggestion made by my old friend Letitzia

Inconveniently been sent to the ninth circle of Hell. Must be the Dantevirus.

Yes, I bought three. I need cheering up ffs!

I must have done too much yesterday. 😣

Hear me out, set up an airport themed pub in a British city. Get the early morning stag do crowd - expensive drinks. After a while our name gets put on a screen and you move to the plywood fuselage seating section, where even more expensive drinks are served on a trolley.

Found my spirit animal

Proper industrial strength "whhaaatt?" from Adam there. #TheArchers