Anyone on truth social? Just he's a bit quiet.

Narrowly thrashed 4-1 despite Trumpkin's best efforts at cheating then.

Heirbnb.

😂

You’re never more than six feet away from someone holding a shop bought coffee.

Blimey. Those penalties. Good morning.

Top marks for the picture choice, BBC

The Israelites

Mouth and anus are the same thing. See also Trump.

Who, no idea, no.

I went to a concert at a school yesterday. It was great and they had fireworks to the 1812. And the school is 50 years older than America.

Just accidentally been on Discover so if I've replied to a month old post, apologies.

Sake. More stuff I didn't ask for.

*chef's kiss*

Loving T&T wedding. I think I might do the same if I can arrange to shut, say, London. Good work, Mrs Kelce!

Why didn't the lifeguard rescue the drowning hippie? He was too far out man.

I'll watch it if we get to the final.

Want to feel old?

You know what's weird? i before e except after c.

Reposts and replies disabled. Fuck you then.

Insolvency administrators when they see a WHSmith/Claire’s Accessories

That Harry Kane's quite good at goals, isn't he? Better than our goalie, he never scores any despite his job title.

It's coming home! Etc

Harry Kane vs Dr Congo

Football isn't coming home, but it has just called to let us know it's ok.

Still got £20 on Cape Verde.

Watching on the Google and I think someone dropped a bag of scrabble tiles.

I'm 27 doors away from a pub. I'll tell you if we score.

Losing to Dr Congo atm. Is he a real doctor?

My burpday pressie!

Another terrible offering from Enid Blyton www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Saturday night telly at its bleakest. Ant and Dec hosting, pushing various traumatised people from the worst places on earth on to a stage where the public get to decide their fate. Stephen Mulhern invents the catchphrase “Dinghy Do Well?” Press Red to win a Seat Ibiza. Calls cost £3.

From someone who understands me

Went to the doctor yesterday about my paranoia. He opened the door and shouted, "OK lads, he's in here!" Good morning.

Today's half hour meeting was spent talking about snakes for 20 minutes, then the weather. Good morning.

Well done the Scots. Nobody beats Brazil first time.

Don't worry. It's no hotter tomorrow. But the humidity is double.

Same

Did we win the kickyball? Who were we playing? Answers as brief as possible as I'm busy, also I don't really do footie, but someone might ask later.

It takes 1.28 seconds for a message to reach us from the Moon. It takes as little as 35 minutes from Jupiter. It takes as little as 4.5 hours from Pluto. It takes at least 6-12 months from NYT reporters, plus $35 for the book containing it.

Any football on?

Watering a few plants with a watering can while next door fills their 27000 litre paddling pool. Stay cool.

Lad

Don't worry, Pete - Norman Stanley Fletcher got that and he was out after three series and a Christmas special. www.thetimes.com/article/0eda...

The Met Office is this: shite. It's pissing down and blowing a gale. Where is the 38 degrees you promised?