Anyone else looked for their phone whilst carrying it?

So Amazon fixed the Christmas number one this year? Huh.

Paul got twatted. Tate had his arse handed to him. Maybe boxing is still culturally important.

Summer's on the way kids.

This will feed generations

So 15 years ago I mashed-up '99 Problems' by Jay-Z, with The Ketchup Song (by Las Ketchup, of course). It's as mad as you think it'll be. www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffBV...

Uche. Bloody hell. #cpfc

I hope they listen.

Lads of a certain age, what was your grumble mag of choice when you were growing up?

Appropriate secret santa gift.

Fuck Elf.

My favourite xmas job was working at the call centre for Park hampers. Don't judge, I'd been made redundant and needed the money. Anyway, xmas eve, some people weren't getting the stuff they'd paid for. There really is only so many times you can call someone and cancel Christmas for them.

I need an old man nap.

To the tune of California Dreaming. 🎶Where's my wooden spoon? (Where's my wooden spoon?) Where's my wooden spoon? (Where's my wooden spoon?) WHERE'S MY WOODEN SPOON? (Where's my wooden spoon?) Where's my wooden spoon? (Where's my wooden spoon?)

Thinking of you guys.

Dementia wards are full of old people. Walking up to my father's bed and telling him he looked like shit apparently isn't standard bedside manner. But he thought i was my brother, so it's ok.

Amazon never deliver before 2pm. In over a decade living here. Not one single morning delivery. So, I thought i had time for a poo. Yes I'll hold, thankyou.

Quite.

Hospitals are great aren't they?

Diddy really liked baby oil huh?

Awake and drinking coffee at half four. What larks!

Waking up and a bunch of shit i don't want to deal with. So im just going to ignore. ADULTING.

Christmas CANCELLED in London 💔🎄

Not pretty. But a win. #cofc

We had a lad accused of pedigree chum on his willy. Not sure which is worse.

My favourite school rumour, was about the lad in our year, whose elder brother fucked a vol au vent.

Saw a big mushroom in the forest.

Time for Frankenstein. Which as you might not know, is the name of the Doctors beer glass. Not the monster.

Survived CostCo.

I now have Burger king bloat.

The collective noun is, A Murder of Jack Russells.

Too much Russell

Fuck it. Having a beer. A two day week might be too much.

Quite.

Fair enough. Its a good record.

Signed up to secret Santa. Ill get the gift before the name. Funnier that way.

I appear to have a small cold. Not enough to be ill. But enough to be irritated.

Thankfully, it's actually good.

Going in on Spinal Tap 2. Please don't be shit. Please don't be shit. Please don't be shit. Please don't be shit.

Die Hard is German for The Hard.

YOU'RE A CHRISTMAS MOVIE!

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. A song about being bullied until people want something from you.

At Manchester Airport and the doors are broken trapping people inside the baggage reclaim. Which is so silly it's actually funny.

Steak tartare. Always wanted to try it. Enjoyed it.

So this was a thing.

Cordoba. Its alright.

Renfe motherfuckers

Breakfast of champions.

Here you go