Trump is going to demand an Oscar for that Melania film isn't he?

No pressure Jorgen. But a debut hattrick would go a long way. #cpfc

Tesco delivery with NO SUBSTITUTES! A day of days indeed.

Spring is coming. It will get better. Promise.

My new favourite child.

It's that time again.

I've accidentally purchased a big tub full of jelly beans. This evening I'll also be a big tub full of jelly beans.

.............Oh boy!

LOL@Bitcoin.

SPOOOSSHH indeed.

You're supposed to be on the left you spineless cunt.

Huh, America is a Peadiocracy.

What kind of fucking psychopath makes a phonecall?

Errrrr. OK?

I've been going for an early night for an hour now.

I have no idea what is going on.

It's Tuesday. And once again I am waiting for people who said they'd see me today, but never show up.

Roses are red. Yer dad is dumb.

Why does the transfer window slam shut. Can it not be closed gently?

Its Groundhog Day at Crystal Palace.

I don't care about the Grammys but I hope everyone had a lovely time.

So yeah. Middle aged back is, well, back. Maybe I'll be moving around tomorrow, maybe I won't. Who says hurtling towards 50 isn't exciting?

"Actually, I have lots of underage friends, they go to different parties. You don't know them."

I have the opening to The Final Countdown in my head and now you do too.

This is one hell of a hangover. #cpfc

No, you had yesterdays lasagne for breakfast.

Costco garlic bread is the shit.

Bugonia is good. Thankyou for your attention.

Andrew is clearly demonstrating CPR in the picture, the fact that's he's a known sex pest with complete disregard for others has nothing to do with it.

May you feel as much joy today as the bouncer in this video.

He's trying to tell me something. But what?

Anyway, im going to wash up.

Turns out Musk is such a loser, even the nonces didn't want to hang out with him.

We're only 24 hours away from "Those girls deserved it"

Bedtime. Have a day won't you?

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

Can I start drinking yet?

God tier snack.

Forty Fucking Nine.

🧵 Make no mistake, the authoritarianism and fascism we're seeing in the US could be heading our way. And we might not even need a change of government to see it happen. Labour is becoming increasingly authoritarian in its efforts to secure votes from a section of the electorate who will never vote..

In Delamere Forest. So much mud.

Watching Patriots at Broncos to see who I'll be rooting for in the Superbowl.

Running man remake it is then.

Starmer wants his own right wing goon to prevent the right wing voting in their own goon. Its about keeping power, not principles.

The band i was supposed to be seeing on Tuesday have cancelled(split up). Oh well.

Netflix are currently looking to secure the rights for US Civil War 2.

Guess who haven’t condemned Dump’s Afghanistan comments disrespecting 447 British deaths and countless wounded? Nigel Farage. Richard Tice. Rupert Lowe. Robert Jenrick. Kemi Badenoch. Nahim Zawahi. These people hate Britain. Wake up.

It's cold outside.