If you wanna love my beaver You gotta help build a dam First we block this river Then we flood the land

"Morgan Wallen sounds like it should be the German word for waking up & immediately masturbating" #CookQuotes

Call me Kevin Sousa the way I just crumbled potato chips on a hot dog and charged myself $12 for it

Oh what's this, new Chelada variant?! Hell yeah! Oh wait Oh no 8%abv Hehe, I'm in danger

#EvilTwinBeerNames?

Every day I complain about the World Cup dog and pony show and every day the World Cup dog and pony show gets even dumber

BUT STILL KICKEN ASS - dashare.zone ADMIN

Happy Pride Month. If you're a gay man, please remember your power. People often think that gay men are innately fashionable, which means if you wear some stupid shit for long enough, straight people, including homophobes, will copy you and then you can laugh at them.

I'm not here to pick a fight with any of the other fine soccer bars in Pittsburgh but I'm here to tell you Tom's Watch Bar can get in the fuckin Mon

JFK completes mostly successful Dallas parade.

YO PLEASE WATCH THIS IM FUCKING SCREAMING

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Clean your draft lines, you vermin

Words? Zero. Not a single one. My son exists in a vibe based economy.

if i was going to give a college commencement speech i would make sure to start with something the students could rally behind. something like "we will mechanically suck the youth from your bones to feed a mechanical eschaton, which my generation will use to climb heaven and become new gods"

"'cunt' is the cilantro of the English language, flavorful, but not for everyone" #CookQuotes

"can't believe you charged us for (5!!!) extra ranch dressing, [redacted] never did that!" Yeah well, they're closed and we're not

Americans love sitting in traffic so much they invented texting and driving

My inventory is ready

too many stupid people have money; that's why I'm launching protein cigarettes

"he got a TBI, Touchin' Butts-Itis" #CookQuotes

Forget daylight savings time we should make it so 8pm is sunset every day of the year

My dog could kick that guy's ass

Dumbass Cube

I hope this Flyers Hurricanes series goes to 9 overtimes every game and both teams lose every game by 9 goals

Cocaine makes you talk quickly and confidently but also wrongly.

cursed artifact

This Minnesota/Colorado series is bananas from game one. Let's go hockey 👏👏,👏👏👏

If this is your Kia parked in front of the South Side BK (yes that one) drive through, they're about to tow your ass @pgh-scanner.com

Up the Villa I guess

Schrodinger's double yolk egg

Church Brew Works is still in business, despite their best efforts

lol who's gonna enforce that? The Senate?! I bet they won't.

Classic Penguins playoff overtime, dominate then lose it on a bullshit shot

(someone commits political violence) Revolution!! Viva la... (reading the first page of the manifesto) ...Foreskin Restoration??

When he shits himself they run a diversion so he can be changed.

This is not the time for wild speculation about what happened. It’s time to bet on Kalshi about what happened

I’m at the combination Comedy Central Roast of Adolf Hitler / Reichstag Fire

My impersonation of NFL fans in South Side right now: "bro, check it out, they have BUILDINGS in this city"

if i buy this will i be as happy as the guy staring at a garbage bag half filled with his shit

This Carolina Ottawa series is like what if both teams were as bad as the Penguins