I feel very certain Trump can’t name any of the Knicks starting five but can name every single cat in Cats

He started at $250M and “I’ll pay,” then “it’s free,” then “no taxpayer cost,” and now it’s a $1B taxpayer-funded fortified bunker. Only in this timeline does being president include requesting a public-funded villain origin lair.

Reagan actually got shot at the same hotel and never asked for a ballroom

My cousin Shawn took weed to impress a girl when we were teenagers and his asshole & penis switched places. All the doctors at the (real) Pitt threw up when they saw it. Be my guest and Get “high” if you want this to happen to you

Average GOP Congressman: We err...uhhh...don't uh need uh...oversight of the DoD because uh...we trust the President to decide what's best Donald Trump: I AM JESUS CHRIST RETURNED TO EARTH THE POPE ISN'T MAGA AND HE'S WEAK ON NUCLEAR WEAPONS I AM GOING TO BUILD A HOTEL ON THE MOON

Will Mike Johnson rebuke Trump for portraying himself as Christ? (no)

“Sorry folks, Strait’s closed. Mullah up front should have told ya.”

Taco Bell should give everyone a free Doritos Locos Taco Supreme every time Supreme Leader Trump tacos out. 🌮

Feels like one of those human chains we used to see in the 1980s would be appropriate right now. Imma go stand outside if anybody wants to meet me. 👯‍♂️ 👯‍♂️ 👯‍♂️

Some of you people never watched The Day After as a child and it shows 🤚

Not specifying which civilization has big Monkey's Paw energy

Somebody check on the guys who run the Doomsday Clock.

Maybe Taylor Swift should record Fortunate Son (Taylor’s Version).

Nobel Peace Prize winner and Acting President of Venezuela Donald Trump is living the life that Academy Award Winner and famed astronaut George Santos dreamed of.

The cultural impact of Rob Reiner cannot be understated. Legend isn't big enough a word. It goes to 11. You can't handle the truth. As you wish. I'll have what she's having. I'm your number one fan. You guys wanna see a dead body? The very idea of a bucket list. The West Wing. All from his movies.

Who has made this 🤣

Sydney Sweeney will get appointed Special Counsel in the Comey case at this rate.

Trump obviously owns several shades of makeup and concealer. Does he keep them in a Caboodle like a teenage girl? Does he carry them around in a makeup bag, or does he have stocked makeup tables wherever he goes so he doesn’t have to carry a purse with him?

Is the GOP healthcare plan really ‘everyone has to give Matt Gaetz a BJ if they need orthodontic work’ or?

NEW: EXCLUSIVE: I spoke to sources at FBI and DOJ that reviewed the Epstein files. It’s worse than the photos. I’ll let you know what they said today at 3:30 PM PT / 6:30 PM ET on @meidastouch.com. Link to show: www.youtube.com/live/hEi77Ib...

If any of you are friends with the Pope, can you casually drop hints about excommunicating JD Vance next time you see him?

A few days after the presidential election one year ago, we went to Fordham Road in the Bronx. It was a little different last week.

If you are new to #BlueSky here is a tip, to block tall he Trump regime accounts in under 10 seconds, - click on the list below - select subscribe - and select block accounts #3E #NOKings

🧵 He nearly killed his kids and others driving drunk🤬 When police tried to arrest him, the ICE thug tried to turn it around, racially profiling the very officers saving lives from his recklessness. The double standard in this footage is jaw-dropping. Local PD confirmed his identity.

TERRORISM EXPERT HERE: This statement is a clear example of what is known as “State Terrorism”: When the dictatorship will order all instruments of its state security & intelligence apparatus against its own citizens to terrorize the population.

Hey Trump, It's pronounced, "Epsteinaminophen."

Just saw someone refer to Cheryl Hines as The Marvelous Mrs. Measles and 💀💀💀💀💀💀

What if nobody has seen him for 72 hours because he’s busy down in the tunnels with the child-trafficking lizard people getting his weekly adrenochrome infusion? Explains a lot of things, doesn’t it?

When you’re having trouble with your DUI field test…

Full Metal Jackoffs getting outrun by a drunk white guy in boat shoes throws a real wrench into “your days as a lawless town are DONE” rhetoric

I reviewed the Tesla Diner, congrats to me on my new career as a food critic

It's not the crime as much as it's the coverup.

This dude is a nonstop one man crime spree. www.westword.com/news/lauren-...

Did Trump watch the South Park episode in full, you think? 😂

Sundog, a memecoin by crypto billionaire Justin Sun, just posted a meme depicting its mascot controlling the White House. Sun has spent (or will shortly spend) a total of $213 million on Trump-connected crypto projects.

Oops: On Joe Rogan’s podcast in September 2018, Tulsi Gabbard acknowledged that Russia interfered in the 2016 election. Rogan called it “amazing” that it took until 2016 for foreign election influence to become a major issue in the U.S.

Shocked to hear Ken Paxton has a wandering eye.

“Thoughts and prayers” = one donation to The Human Fund.

Listen 50% of the internet sucks but the other 50%, like this, gives me life

Pardoned Capitol Rioters have no regrets and are attempting to rewrite the history of January 6th. From attending GOP events to appearances in right-wing media — Pardon Tracker is monitoring their statements, activities, and networks. Donate to support this project:

@greenday.bsky.social Please write a 2025 American Idiot. The world needs a rock opera score to backdrop whatever the fuck this is. ♥️ 💣

at least toby keith is dead this time