is it better to fail a little bit every day or save it up for one big failure later

i took this photo of the moon last night

people should be embarrassed to admit they are the CEO of something

my wife’s butt could beat up your wife’s butt

what if neal stephenson’s Diamond Age was real but also way shittier and stupider

i put all my books in a blender with a banana and a half cup of oat milk and drink it. i’ve read 30,000 books just this year alone

if the government doesn’t show up for ten minutes we all get the day off

Dude if the Democratic Party has a place for anti-trans and anti-abortion candidates then I’m not a democrat and I won’t vote for one I don’t know what to tell you man, there’s already a political party who believes these things It’s not a “big tent” to have zero fixed values in pursuit of power

can’t believe that guy missed

but pagliacci, i’m your doctor

ICE Nazis in Chicago tried to kidnap a food delivery worker but my man was too fast for those slow bastards

honey can you pick up some tylenol my autism levels are getting low

eating three baskets of complementary chips and salsa before the food even arrives would fix me

just came back from the rapture and boy are my arms tired (from jackin off all da angels)

fried tofu braised in a coconut-ginger-lemongrass sauce

just came back from the rapture did i miss anything

Best thing I've seen on the hellscape that is the internet in a long time.

a huge part of religious training (or "upbringing") involves being comfortable with and/or ignoring any kind of cognitive dissonance, combined with deference to religious authority figures. seems bad idk

i was trying to work up the courage to do a joke churlie kork painting but it would never have been as good as this one, seemingly done in earnest. i give up

anyone want to buy this stupid thing?

monica ignore this guy i am ready to comfort you for two hours

huh so i guess israel killed charlie kirk?

next step is to attach rockets to them and launch them into canada

you fuckin leftist monsters need to understand that the founding fathers included free speech so that they could do slurs NOT so they could make fun of dead assholes

Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74

imagining the worst possible version of the world and then fuckin. stopping at nothing to make sure that’s the version that comes true

maybe i’m heartless but i just can’t get worked up over nazi edgelord on nazi edgelord crime

isn’t this a bobcat goldthwait bit from like the late 90s

the thing thats so galling abt the whole “Charlie was just a sweet boy who loved good faith debate“ line is that he was the opposite! He took advantage of naive college kids who believed in good faith debate, baited them into emotional responses and posted them online to a rabid fanbase of rw haters

this whole thing has spoiled my plans for celebrating 9/11 tomorrow

(Person who destroyed homeless peoples belongings with a smile on their face) political violence is bad

he forgot his bag lunch. i guess someone was nice enough to bring it to him

everyones whining about autoplay videos but no ones posting the one i actually want to see

Protesters Urged Not To Give Trump Administration Pretext For What It Already Doing

It’s gonna be so weird watching establishment dems be performatively sadder about this than they were about the colleague and her husband and dog who got shot and killed

except for the revolutionary war, the civil war, six other presidents shot, a literal coup attempt by the man himself, the second amendment and materially supplying several genocides around the world right now, violence has no place in us politics

oh. huh.

texts from dad: photo of dogs photo of sunset horrific closeup photo of moms split open toe at the hospital photo of garden same photo of the sunset again

getting real down on myself for not having the patience or resources of a cartoon dog family living in a $2M house

blue prince except it’s based on groundhog day and you’re building the town of punxutawney each day

When people say "We used to drink raw milk from our own cow and it was fine," That's... usually not the case! In families w their own cow, the mom usually boiled it before using. We just forgot bc that's a boring chore that mom did. And who pays attention to that? youtu.be/vKDPast9WFk

i don’t think it’s stupidity, exactly, that of the manifold types of resistance the dems could offer they only seem to pick the ones that their opponents have shown over and over to be able to easily refute

They should make a less bouncy trampoline that you could just chill around or eat food off of

what if he came back on tuesday with just like a really bad nosejob lol

one last big inhale

BREAKING: supreme court rules 6-3 that it's okay to have a dead president