The part about how he said he isn't a strong swimmer and it got reported as not being able to swim at all reminds me of when I won a poetry contest in the 5th grade and they just like...got a bunch of easy facts wrong in the newspaper article

They should consider my photo series, "so much crime" which was just me taking pictures of all the lovely things we saw, plus one (1) incident of tagging

To be clear, running the most ethical plagiarism machine does not make you good, you don't gotta hand it to them, etc., but this is the best thing they can do for their business. The tide is turning against the fascists and they're probably correctly betting on their downfall.

HEY EVERYONE IN UTAH PLEASE GO TO VOTE.UTAH.GOV AND CHECK YOUR VOTER REGISTRATION INFO TO MAKE SURE YOUR NAME IS NOT ON THIS PETITION. If it is, you can get it removed! (ASAP!)

Has no one in the government seen the episode of King of the Hill where Bobby gets gout?

I don’t want the new 5 C’s of Arizona to be Amazon centers, data centers, concentration camps, and (worsening) climate

But you can call him bud, buddy, bub, bubba, big guy, or Quique

Chat, is it bad when one tech dude having a modicum of a conscience is the only thing hindering the plans of the worst people in the world to use hallucinatory robots to automate crimes against humanity?

Fun names from the kids' school: Indy Two named Cash A boy named Juniper Cullen

I don't know guys, but woke sounds fun? You get to party in Vegas with Flava Flav and have a wonderful Italian meal with Stanley Tucci.

Exhibit 743 in my answer to "why are you guys moving"

There is no way they are 40% more efficient from AI. Either they're using it as cover for layoffs or they are wildly overconfident about what it can do, but either way, the stock market is incredibly messed up if people look at mass layoffs and go "oooh, nice"

We're watching the new season of Man on the Inside and the Thanksgiving episode is making me sad. It's a very special episode about being grateful you still have have a mom, that she's making an effort, etc. But what about those of us with moms who don't even try??

My whole family just yelled "NINETY TWO?!" (we were checking the weather)

Block is cutting almost half of its workforce because they're pivoting to AI?? That is not going to end well.

People are always like what’s something you miss from the past and one of mine is antitrust laws

I’m transgender, I live in Kansas, if you want to help rn donate to either the ACLU of Kansas or the ACE foundation in Wichita - the ACE foundation especially is the organization that will help people with money for groceries, rent, etc. More orgs also included in attached img acefoundationict.org

NEW: A hobbyist has created Nearby Glasses, an app that warns you if someone close by is wearing smart glasses. 404 Media spoke to the creator who said he was inspired by our coverage that uncovers how men are wearing Meta's Ray-Bans to covertly film massage parlor workers.

I would never reveal to my enemies that I was this much of a bitch ass bitch. I would swear all witnesses to secrecy and never speak of it again.

This organization will be using its mutual aid fund to defray the cost of new licenses ) and new birth certificates, eventually) for trans Kansans! lgbtqks.org/donate/

If you have the means, please donate to the Trans Continental Pipeline right now. They are a Colorado based org that helps trans people relocate and they are overwhelmed with requests. Colorado borders Kansas, and TCP has the infrastructure to help get people out. tcpipeline.org

When exactly did we start calling the camera that is facing the person holding the phone the front-facing camera? That is is rear facing! Facing the same direction as the user is front facing!

To my trans folks online: no matter how many cowards you encounter or observe, you are, and have always been worth fighting for.

Sometimes I will say sorry to someone when something bad has happened, and they will say "it wasn't your fault." But I'm not sorry because I did it, I'm sorry it happened at all.

Accidentally cosplayed as Dr Al-Hashimi for a work meeting with the big boss today lol

Should I amend my tax returns for a $50.12 1099 that apparently trade does not have to provide by January 31 like everyone else??

If I want to find your address, I'll do it the old fashioned way, by learning enough about you to look up your address on public records. But I'm traditional like that.

Heads up to anyone who uses Amazon wish lists to allow others to send them stuff, they are changing how it works, privacy-wise, and it could reveal the address to senders via tracking updates.

this stuff doesn’t even phase me anymore. at least once a year i get a letter that amounts to “hello, it’s FuelCorp - in 2017 you used one of our gas pumps. your social security number is now on the dark web.”

Ever since the golden days of Twitter, I have thought that social media should have a follower application form. Not only to cut down on bots, but like, what specific joke brought you here? Are you misreading the vibe based on one semi viral post? Explain yourself

Why watch the president blather incoherently for two hours when you can tune into me doing the same thing on ig live, but about the new taco bell chicken bacon ranch street chalupas

Omg, do they not even hear themselves?? One was seen rubbing his eye? Removed by EMS to the hospital "in stable condition"? Assault?? Don't walk into a snowball fight if you don't want to get hit, you whiny children

Things you can do instead of watching the state of the union: -Take an everything shower (and blow dry your hair) -Clean out your purse -Close all your browser tabs -Start to close the tabs, find a recipe that you've been meaning to make, then do it -Trigger your environmental allergies

imagine if it happened today

Fuck this shit. First Democrat to moon Trump with their full ass out will get my vote in the 2028 primary. bsky.app/profile/andr...

They didn't throw it at them, they were aiming at the guy next to him. Terrible aim is all. That's not a crime.

Masterful Troll, TCM.

Too many cute bobs on TV lately. Don't let me cut my hair, I'd have to style it every day and probably go up to washing it thrice a week

There's no reason at all to watch the *state of the union* tomorrow unless it's your job to do so.

Why do I have to pretend that I'm going to print something in order to save it as a PDF. Why do I have to engage in a little ruse.

When people are dying of heatstroke: sorry could uwu keep your AC set to 87 degrees? Power is expensive and we don't have enough to go around 🥺 When people are freezing: is your heater at 55 degrees enough? Sorry power is hard to come by, you'll get through 🥺🥺 When AI wants to make porn of minors:

What if I did an honor system garage sale? Put everything out with a sign with my venmo/cash app usnername and say "take what you want, pay what you can"? Even if someone steals it all, it saves me from driving it over to the DI

I saw someone repost this and scrolled past. Do not make the same mistake. Click through and see what an excellent post this is.

“We’ve invented a service that will do every substantial piece of human activity so you can focus on being slowly lowered feet-first into an industrial shredder”

This is so great, but also I do not want to live in a world where libraries have to fundraise at all.

you shouldn't be posting for view counts. you should be posting for likes from like 10 other funny people you're friendly with.

My husband did love Heated Rivalry by the end and thanked me for making him stick with it. I knew it! I told him!!

My "Norman Rockwell Guy Standing Up" take is that this kind of bike lane does more harm than good. There's a separated, high-level sidewalk right next to this giant road with no pedestrians! Widen it by one foot and make it a mixed use path!

As the guy who wrote the book on zoning abolition, I'd like to go on record as saying: if you can use zoning to stop the concentration camps, fucking go for it.