Just got some beautiful food from McDonald’s

McDonald's gives me the energy I need to grow and learn

This recording was supposed to be deleted! Who spilled the beans!?

Chicken cacciatore with polenta that I made myself. I made it from a whole chicken but next time I'm just gonna use thighs because those are the best cut for this. It was yummy.

I said ooh girl Shock me like that one time my dad shocked me with a car battery on purpose Baby girl Turn me on with your electric feel

*shoots you 37 times in the chest* there all better now :)

can we all at least agree that no one should ever be criticized for any reason

Powerful visual shows how much cum is in a regular bottle of Heinz ketchup

1% milk got ya like “what’s the other 99%”’meanwhile you drink hole milk and don’t ask which hole, curious

I'm gonna need some sexual sex all up on my genitals

Gotta be Twitter's best feature

in my not gonna kill myself era

play that funky music they/them

Ask not for whom the Bell Hooks

Women talk about liking dick like people talk about liking their jobs

No, it's fine that you didn't put me in your starter pack. It's not like anyone would notice if I was gone anyways.

they named it poutine because you pout it ine your mouth

The real victims of homophobia are the straight boyfriends of bisexual women

if i was a dick i would get so mad about being jerked off. put me down

Getting pegged by three jewish bitches call that triceratops

The real housewives of the Middle Mississippian Southeastern Ceremonial Complex

Yar, I be the worst pirate ever, I've not a single doubloon. Would anyone even care if I walked the plank?

just killed your favorite mutual cause i wasnt on their starter pack

Quoth the raven "Fucking gay"

Jacking off to a poem

Sorry I haven't been active on here my excuse is that Stellaris is really fun lol

*stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sorry *stabs you* ope, sor

we gonna rock this club. We gonna go all night. We gonna light it up like it’s dynamite

My life is like a video game. Trying hard to beat the stage, all while I am still collecting coins.

Been beating my head into walls until my neck hurts lately

i just overdosed on male loneliness

grusky . bluesky for the Minions

( . Y . )

started fuckin bottoms now I’m gay started fuckin bottoms now the whole team fuckin gay

a democratic party fundraising email with the subject line, “Do You Even Fucking Care Anymore?”

there’s only one ☝️ centipede. the human centipede 🌎💕

Thinking of getting a bit naughty. Perhaps even scandalous.

Btw this is what I look like irl don't tell anybody