Gone too soon. Obviously the site of a talented ballon artist abducted by aliens in the night.

I get that this AI billboard *wants* discourse but it just made me say “Ew.” Fear not, fellas. You can still sexually harass an AI woman when the real humans are gone at your job.

I read the story of a Pittsburgher who robbed banks thinking he was invisible to cameras because he rubbed lemons on his face. Seriously. Dude tested theory using a Polaroid: rubbed lemon juice all over his face, got in eyes, accidentally took pic of ceiling, thought he was invisible to cameras.

"I out pizza'd the Hut," I scream as federal agents push me into a black SUV

They messed up when they added sensors to sinks in bathrooms because now some of us know that we are invisible and cannot be sensed. This is a valuable asset when the revolution comes.

I blame all of you for my first thought seeing this innocent airport restaurant in Houston which was … that’s a euphemism, right?

We’re keeping our newspaper! And our alt-weekly! And we have Public Source. Pittsburgh journalism survives to fight another day. Excited to re-subscribe once I know none of my money is going to the Blocks’ union busting.

The most beautiful way to make a new friend is to grab a stranger's hand and just start running as fast as you can

While cat spelunking, Doctor Watson flung a pair of Vans out from under the couch that I’d assumed were too far in the back of the coat closet to dig for. Changed my whole shoe plan for the day. Thanks buddy.

It’s good to stay curious. For example, I have a travel monitor for work trips. I am curious where I put that six months ago when I got back from my last work trip.

My BFF is extremely offline and went to 12 years of Catholic school, so the current President-Beef-With-Pope moment is going to require me to set up a shared album for the funniest posts. Texts alone cannot handle the sheer volume.

it’s giving crusades it’s giving Avignon papacy

It’s profoundly ignorant to suggest that the Pope should be fighting crime on behalf of the Catholic Church. Anyone who was remotely familiar with Roman Catholicism would know that that’s what Daredevil is for

[pulled over] i’ll let you off with a warning this time ME: thank you your holiness

I do not have much confidence in this TCL app for my window A/C. No yet, for sure.

Remember: Godzilla was originally going to be an octopus. You can be anything you want to be. As long as it’s an octopus or a godzilla anyway

The value of a liberal arts education is that I know that a weird little guy who only answers questions accurately if you phrase them just right is called an Elf and that motherfucker is never to be trusted.

This photo is like the 8th or 9th time I have ever set eyes on The Dark Wizard (left), a cat that has lived in my home for two months.

Reactivating my ancient @postcrossing.com profile because sending out and receiving random postcards from all over the world feels like one pleasant way to feel like a human on this planet with other humans these complicated days. Off to the post office to get my stamps situation in order!

Recovery is so challenging for anyone but super bummed to hear things are rough again for Natasha Lyonne. Addiction almost killed her before and her comeback was so great to see with interesting work. I hope she can turn it back around.

Love to make a little chart, win a little work debate with math. Oh, the vibes are this? Excel Boom. Scissors beats paper. Numbers beat vibes.

to all who celebrate...

Oh yeah definitely the one thing sci fi and fantasy has been missing is the male gaze

Got tired of accidentally startling the new cats by just walking into a room, so I started singing a little “here I come” ditty to announce my approach … like a creeping menacing old lady in a cat-produced horror film.

I’m a huge lover of French Twirl cream horns from grocery stores, but our local doesn’t have them regularly and when they do it is $7 for 4. My blessed wife @luxastarte.bsky.social ordered pastry cones, bought puff pastry and devised special *marshmallow* filling to make me DOZENS! I’m so spoiled.

In other feel-good news, I talked a coworker out of preemptively quitting during the 2025 layoffs frenzy and told her to wait and see before panicking. She didn’t get laid off after all, kept her good benefits, and goes on maternity leave in two weeks. I hope she names the baby after me.

Our power went out so I notified the power company and my boss and now I am Laura Ingalls trying to amuse myself with old-timey delights and the 55% battery on my phone.

Beginning the critical first step of my packing process - making a list of stuff I *may* want to take. It’s a six day trip (two of which are just plane time), so 102 clothing items is probably a bit much but it’s a starting place. (I have the Stylebook closet app that enables my chaos list making.)

Thank you for emailing about applying for a job, juicysteaksupreme at email provider dot com. I am sure it’s you because the display name on your email account is also The Real Steak Supreme.

Stepped in something in my slippers, so now when I’m trying be silent in the morning, they are more like squeakers.

Was positive that I knew a bit actor on Will Trent from somewhere, and then I realized it was just that he had a realistic Atlanta accent so I assumed he was a friend.

If the temperature insists on wildly swinging by 40 degrees every day, I think it’s time for the government to step up and ship everyone over 35 some tiger balm to keep the aging workforce less achey.

Ran into an old friend from undergrad and love telling people “just invite yourself over any time - I am bad at planning parties.” It’s true and I mean it. I love people coming over, but I am never gonna get it together enough to plan ahead.

Someone over in Lincoln Lemington needs to invite your neighbors over for lunch. You know you bought too much and this person needs a break. 🙏

I tried to start the filmed Broadway Merrily We Roll Along on Netflix and then swiftly remembered how tedious I find declaim the song minimal scenery late 70s Sondheim. Give me Into the Woods or give me death.

OH *in an actual gay bar*: “I don’t know if you remember her, but before she got a show Ellen DeGeneres was this stand-up comedian…”

Ghostbusting should be a government service, not a for-profit business

When I cook a leisurely breakfast on a weekend, I think about when everyone was freaking out about egg prices, and I was like how many do you need - maybe two a week? And then you all informed me that cooked breakfast was NOT a made-up-only-only-tv-shows thing and my High Luxury was daily for you.

What we post about when we post about posting about posting

I have been off work for three hours, so of course I’m already way behind on enjoying my rest, finishing house projects, crafting, exercise, going outside, and being social. I should probably just stay awake for 48 hours to weekendmax.

Lololololololololololololololol they changed it

good night, moon good night, astronauts flying over the moon

The “send later” text option saves me from forgetting to send memes to my friends at a decent hour, and also from their possible questions about why I was wide awake and scrolling at 4:02 am. But I still schedule them for like 9:47 am so it will feel real-time and not like I waited. Cringe but free.

In cat cryptid The Dark Wizard news, @luxastarte.bsky.social was searching for his latest hiding place for days and found him today inside the abandoned sink cabinet in our attic with the doors closed. He crawled in through the pipe hole and was unhappy to be found, the wee prince of darkness.

One of my coworkers was like everyone pray for this astronaut, a guy who I met at my YMCA, and it turns out it was not a trick, and his gym bro is in space.

Hit my move goal while barely getting up from my desk. I must have been typing with VIGOR.

Pittsburgh: tickets to the Riverhounds US Open Cup game tomorrow at 7 are only $12.50 if you want some. (I don’t care about or watch men’s sports in general but I get updates because I have Riveters season tickets).

maybe he could hire a drinker then

I just watched someone shred and blend and screen-dry brown packing paper to make … brown paper. M’am. You could have just ironed the paper you had. I love a crafts moment, but this was unnecessary. It is Monday morning. Do not waste my time.