The kind of people who ride a Ferris Wheel placed on a bridge have clearly not imagined the online clip of themselves somehow slipping out and ending up in a river rescue corpse retrieval scenario. Or dangling, somehow pantless, from a loose carnie-installed bolt. Many such things.

Can I test out of Breast Cancer Awareness month this year? I’ve got a lot on my plate, I’m aware, and I do not want your pink item where 1 cent of profits goes to organic lotions for cancer patients.

I’m not sure why publishers think that people with ADHD will ever get around to reading two full magazines about ADHD.

it is time

Happy Federal Fiscal New Year from me, a person who was updating annual reports right up until the midnight cutoff, which makes for a 16 hour work day after food breaks. And a Merry Shutdown to all who are celebrating either by working without pay, or not working, also without pay.

Siri unexpectedly spoke to me from my purse and I killed her dead. I don’t speak to devices. My tv remotes are manual. If I want to play music, I choose it with my hands. No one’s gonna catch me out here with an always-open microphone in my life.

Remembering law student orientation, when a 3rd year woman recited the entirety of Eminem’s Lose Yourself to inspire us.

Brandy, you’re a fine girl. But I am in love with a liquid. It is called aquaphilia. Look it up, girl. Educate yourself.

Charleston SC is pretty to look at, but I went with a diverse group and we got racist comments at every place that we stepped into in the tourist area - anti-Black, anti-Asian, anti-Arab. The host hotel for a national group couldn’t offer a thing not cooked in pork for Jewish/Muslim/veg attendees.

*falling into a burning ring of fire* I'm gonna write a song about this shit

My brain has been spinning up the most cuckoo-banana-pants conspiracy theories to try to explain the dark *why* behind all of these government decisions that don’t make any sense to me. And then I realized that’s how (less sensible) types went full Q and stepped away from the thought process.

People are wound kind of tight out in the world today. I think now that I’m home, I’ll stay here for a bit.

That was not my favorite game. But Go Dawgs forever, anyway.

Spent the day napping to prepare for the UGA Bama game. Being tense about college football is such a lovely mindless kind of tense compared to… ya know.

Oh I would love to, but you see, my cat laid on top of me and I’ve been compressed into the couch for the foreseeable.

I like that early career actors in horror movies are often slightly off-brand versions of more famous actors. Tonight’s female lead would be Emma Stone if only Emma Stone would get out of her way.

Damn even the island underage.

My first semester in law school I interned scanning court records to be digitized for the Kennedy Center. Fun fact - the precedent on suing for slip-and-fall injuries on the marble floors is deep and, at least at one point, the argument was that they should sue Italy, who donated the marble floors.

Got three whole vaccines yesterday (COVID, flu, and TDAP booster) and feel suspiciously fine today. We live in such an upside-down country that I’m like… would they swap them for placebos? Hope not, but who can say? What is truth? 🤷‍♀️

I wanted an easy way to scrunch a dress into more of a tunic tank top and now I’m down the rabbit hole remembering Units, the 80s mall brand that was basically plain cowl tubes that you could layer and arrange into outfits.

spending hundreds of billions on AI to replace artists was stupid cuz even if AI art could actually do that, all the artists combined only ever made like $1,000 total

Shirley Manson is 100% a goddess forever.

As an ex-vangelical, I’ve gotta say it shocked me when I found out The Rapture™️ was basically a niche regional theology and not part of even most of Christendom. I really wasted a lot of time learning all the details for something made up over one retranslated verse in the 1830s.

As America's most pro-business leader in a generation, I will choose one company each week and accuse them of witchcraft

I find this option the most menacing. What kind of midnight crossroads deal am I making if I click here?

It is too early to be a hater, yet here I am, clocking in.

Lord, I confess I want the clarity of catastrophe but not the catastrophe. Like everyone else, I want a storm I can dance in. #SaturdayPoem

My niece had her first homecoming date request, and my Dad up and left the family group chat after I explained that it is now called a HoCoPro, in the lingo of the youths. (It was literally hashtagged on the little boy’s poster board sign; also the little boy is a varsity wide-receiver).

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I told everyone at work that I would be out tomorrow, but it turns out that’s actually next Friday. It would be rude of anyone to acknowledge me tomorrow. They know I’m out.

I would never post actual names but a small joy in my life is when I get a resume where the person’s name is perfect for the job, like a podiatrist named Dr. Foote.

All media corporations are baseline evil, but if three free months of Spotify premium would help get anyone through three more months of this, here’s a referral link good until 9/22. Remembering to cancel before the end of the freebie is on you, beloved.

“Debate me, bro!” “What is ‘debate?’ We all know that there is only one permitted and true opinion on all matters and it is the opinion of Dear Leader. It has always been so. If Leader is sad, I am sad. If Leader could ever be happy, only then will I be happy. This is True and Perfect Freedom.”

Well, I think we have confirmed that the revolution will not be televised

Our willow/ woven 9th wedding anniversary is next week and @luxastarte.bsky.social surprised me with a cameo from Amber Benson (Willow’s very own Tara from Buffy) and a whole crocheted (woven) framed wall piece from @xaoc.bsky.social Yes, I cried.

At least once a week, because of the reasons, I think about this fun little book that I read 15 years ago about a guy who decides being smart and informed has only brought him misery and that he will dive into being dumber as the key to happiness.

My local keeps pivoting to cheaper and cheaper off-brand vapes because of tariffs, and the current option has a tiny purse strap. (During the great juul purge of ‘21, they offered me their last hidden crates of pods at bulk cost and are forever my true comrades, come what may).

if u see this quote with the energy u bring to blue sky

you can still smoke in ihop if you tell them you ordered cigarette pancakes

Whole lot of people who are gonna need to figure out what “move in silence” means with a quickness. It shouldn’t have to be that way, but it is for sure that way.

The Vice President literally declared *vaguely being a liberal* is part of a “domestic terror organization”yesterday. NEVER sign up online, RSVP, or even sign paper for a protest. Period. I mean, I guess if you like prison until the court cases work their way out over the course of years 🤷‍♀️

Sentences I did not anticipate needing in my career: Yes, that is still active federal law, but it appears that it is ‘not in favor with current priorities’ as all references to it have been deleted from public-facing websites. You can use this hyperlink (while it remains posted).

Same. Also, was so relieved when the latest season of Call the Midwife posted. At last! More historical near-deadly childbirth and crushing poverty, to unwind from the day.

smashing the like button in order to get to the nutritious goo inside

Practicing for the Mandatory Sadness Police. “I don’t know who that is. Does he do those TicTac dances? Is he a good dancer?”

His boss, to me: “I think all of us need humbled now and then, and I suspect your email will have the desired effect.” Whew.

My coworker that I reamed out on email on Thursday (just before logging out for my three day weekend) appears to have sent me four emails on Friday and gone through quite a masculine emotional journey in my absence.

Us: That was definitely a good game! Mom: no it wasn’t.

My mom went to Tennessee and I went to Georgia, so this football game is known as House Divided in our family. The family group chat is lively at the moment.

Preparing legal defense for the brand new imaginary crime of “being glad someone is dead,” on religious grounds that if the person was a Christian and is in heaven, why isn’t everyone thrilled? <innocent shocked face> Does the government assert they are not in heaven? Or that heaven is bad?