if i can’t have The Residence season 2 then by god can we please get Man On The Inside season 3

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dentist time!

i fucking lost a filling fuck this fucking week

Nobody could possibly have prepared for me for my mom’s obsession with pooping. I’ve been told this happens with elderly people, but my mom’s OCD and It. Never. Stops.

I just want yinz to know how much your kindness and love is appreciated. 🖤

someone at work asked how i was today and I just said sad and kept walking so I didn’t start crying. i don’t need to knead sadness into my biscuits.

I’ve been cuddling fox a lot the last 24 hours

i miss my little buddy.

i desperately needed this laugh

made myself cry imagining bad janet finding my dad in heaven.

We had to say goodbye to Bad Janet. I’m devastated.

Bad Janet has to spend the night at the emergency vet (not great stuff happening) and Fox Mulder is now looking for him in the living room and it’s making me very very sad :(

if i quoted the DoorDash’s State of Local Commerce report in a high school debate they wouldn’t give me the cited source point bc what even the fuck

Kendrick Lamar ft. Joyce Carol Oates "Not Like Us REMIX"

i'm in the basement of the senate building and i just saw two john fettermans suckling on the skin of some large wormlike creature

Never needed to bust this one out more chucklefuck

41 trips around this sun!!!!

Reciting the 8 dem names like arya stark before bed

calgon take me to sleep i joker laugh

the fire rekindled

would

my neighbor didn’t make it. 💔

my good enough complex is so bad im already mad at myself for not noticing the fire sooner bc i don’t think my neighbor survived

The cop outside my car rn: man i hate cats that one cat was going ballistic Sir you’re in a bulletproof vest fox mulder is shredding my flesh

nothing says WAKE UP like calling 911 bc your neighbor’s house is on F I R E

Cuomo losing or Douglas’s mistakes party?

woke up with my neck crunching my nerves so much that if i press my shoulder and look to that side i can incite an immediate tension headache and arm pain, on both sides.

the bsky team could’ve just banned singal but instead we get Rude as a little treat

Offering my bestie a Hug of Christian Friendship (I’m in leather clutching your hair, you are in guy liner and married to someone else). Oddly, he declined.

FUCK YEAH

(Upbeat narrator’s voice) But the people of New Jersey and Virginia wanted transgender for everybody, and it was good

So our mail-in ballots hadn’t yet been received so we voted provisionally just in case. Mom did same at her polling place. Civic duty duly done!!!

LECTER: What became of your sandwich, Clarice? STARLING: It kind of exploded. LECTER: You still wake up sometimes, don't you? You wake up in the dark and smell the onions and the mustard. STARLING: [choking up] Yes.

ooooo taking a nurtec cause i think i have a migraine which isnt helping the sleeplessness and janet worry 🫠

every time i drift off my brain goes SAD UNWELL CAT 4ft AWAY and the adrenaline kicks in and I pet him on the floor til my back hurts snd then get back on the couch. He seemed to be doing better before bed, but it’s been a rough 24 hours

woke up bc i heard a yowling but it was an outside cat(s) and not a fox and janet fight thank god but now im wide awake so couch and tv i guess

who up helping their lil cat baby post-seizure? just us? we made it 11 days between episodes so that’s a win. Fox Mulder seems to sense it before it goes down but “Brother’s Seizing” and “Fight Club, baby!” use the same amount of teeth and claws.

woke austin powers: do i make you sexually proactive baby and remember you do not have to answer that if you don't want to

I simply love Watson because it truly embodies Pittsburgh. Latest episode mentioned Kennywood and had YINZ coffee cups in addition to amazing skyline shots. The Pitt is stolen valor by contrast. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 😂

No takers for my Reverse Mrs Doubtfire screenplay in which an elderly Scottish woman pretends to be fast-talking improvisational stand-up Robin Williams.

nothing like sleeping shittily bc I got sick on fall-back-extra-hour night. extra disorienting.

i dreamed i got in trouble at work which is in direct conflict with this real-life exchange a couple days ago: me: hey jerome sent me to the office for something steven: Rare for you, I’m sure. me: damn way to call me a good kid right to my face

it’s fucken wimdy in pittsburgh rn

i know i posted this the first time, but again, the dragon age joke in solar opposites season 6 was made for me personally

What movie do you consider perfect? But I’m a Cheerleader semi-saved my life in high school. Plus it’s perfect.

DR FRANKENSTEIN: *turns to Igor* hand me the dick

stupid babies need the most attention

follow the rules