Unfortunately we’re in an unprecedented era of rich people finding out that everyone hates them and making it a problem for all of us

Harold Houdinald

i dont know what tween graffiti’d “we are all charlie” on the children’s museum bus stop shelter, but I hope they get the therapy they need

Heidi is my friend. She encouraged me to attend a con after my TBI, shares my love of Dragon Age, is an amazing writer of both stories & song. Please donate or share to help her as she loses the love her life, and faces uncertainty in her future. Fuck Cancer. ❤️ www.gofundme.com/f/ease-the-t...

salt, fat, acid, oh my GOD are those my hands?

big Tobias Funke energy

just found a bullet casing with the entire bee movie script on it

hell yeah i got to ask garbage if they remembered letting a sweaty teen see their studio in a pre-9/11 summer day and show off my tattoo and shirley took a picture of it and praised @kellythewitch.bsky.social and I’m so high from the euphoria of the soundcheck. @eleanorstrousers.bsky.social RULES

artistic genius at work

When I told my mom I was gay, she panicked: Mom: This is bc I dove off the diving board Me: I like diving! Mom: This is bc I drank a glass of champagne Me: I like champagne! Mom: This is bc I smoked a joint. Me: I like weed! Now I’m worried I’ll get a “Tylenol while pregnant made you gay” text

Tylenol and diet Sierra Mist is the new Aperol spritz

as a raised-catholic afab, I always feel guilt and responsibility, even though I tapped out of catholicism as early as possible. The Rapture as a concept is never feeling the guilt of judgment and skipping to heaven, so like, very evangelical, very sus.

would’ve been so mad if i got raptured before seeing garbage tonight

the rapture is in beta testing right now so you’ll need an invite code from someone who’s already there

Today I was behind a vehicle that had a US Navy sticker and a gigantic back windshield banner that read THE EARTH IS FLAT.

they should invent adult talent shows BUT they have to be hosted in elementary school cafeterias and everyone must be stone cold sober

It's going to be funny in a few years when we change the name to Tylenol Presents: The United States of America.

Haunted Hotel is so good!! I really enjoyed it. Cartoons rule.

the possible existence of a fiji mermaid portends to the possible existence of an aquafina mermaid, a disani mermaid, a liquid death mermaid, an evian mermaid, a voss mermaid, a smartwater mermaid, and maybe even a lacroix mermaid

I didn’t know that I’d grow up to have one of my kinks be watching corporate stonks tank but here we are

Uhhhh someone saw the Myrtle Hologram on Superstore and said “That but Stan Lee” because nothing and no one is off limits

Did Nathan Fielder write The Girlfriend? Cause it’s so awkward and I am uncomfortable!! lolololololol

Gentle reminder that in the late '50s, the U.S. government did not censor comics. Comics companies censored themselves. Not sure why that crossed my mind today but there it is...

disney: You actually have to pay us forever no matter what and nobody’s gonna stop us! my new debit card coming soon: hold my beer

just heard a radio ad for an app to prepay and reserve parking spots and 1) what the fuck and how and god damn it subscription-kink techbros and 2) pittsburgh has 3 separate “apps” for paying for parking and my local bank thinks every single one is a scam so what’s the use

seems like bryan johnson is so afraid of dying that he isn’t really living and that seems like its own rich guy hell

between The Pitt and the Pirates I can’t get to the close-to-me dispensary 🫠

if my taxes subsidized this, i want some

FUCK CANCER

today’s nerve damage pain in my arms is numb but also hot pin pricks atop a dull ache and stretched-feeling skin

Trump: everyone in the US died from drugs last week Reporter: [nods] Trump: so we must murder on the high seas Reporter: [nods] Trump: I caught Trix rabbit once Reporter: [nods] Trump: the cock on that bunny Reporter: [nods] Trump: bigger than you think Headline: Trump Policy Seeks To Save Lives

Milkshakes are Area of Effect and can do Friendly Fire health damage. Beware, there’s a 50% chance it will bring boys to your yard for 2 turns or until stamina runs out

uhhhh Lauren Ash’s pop punk album is scratching that teenage music brain itch. it’s amazing.

either way, I volunteer as tribute

SEAL: But did you know that when it snows my eyes become large and the light that you shine can't be seen? OPTOMETRIST: that’s not supposed to happen

Oh hey, Pittsburgh folks or anyone with funds to spare, here’s a list of fundraisers for people displaced by the Squirrel Hill apartment fire earlier this week.

Honestly, this is the divinest retribution I have seen on this earth at this time. I might go to church this weekend and get communion, even.

“anyway, where’s the epstein files” is the new “anyway here’s wonderwall.”

getting unfriended by people boo-hooing celebrating ck’s death bc i said some children should learn their parents are deeply hated monsters in order to not become deeply hated monsters

Charlie Kirk talking about mass shootings at the time he was shot is the sort of detail they make you take out of the story because it's too over the top

"Don't piss on my leg and tell me it is raining," is a phrase people should be using 805 times a day right now. But, instead, WaPo is like "we brought in rain and piss experts to determine liquid viscosity."

unicorn overlord

Gonna become a post-tariff grifter and collect up all of the cheap junk in my house and MeMu it to desperate YouTube unboxing influencers who can’t find anything to buy.

i just know this person can’t cook

lmaoooooo

Remember when the Kony 2012 guy had his brain so broken by social media he was found naked on the street doing weird sex stuff and vandalizing everything within reach? What if 13 years later we made the whole government out of that guy

"Manosphere"... you mean this thing?