Jesus when he comes back to Earth:

He looks like if The Matrix was about being cis.

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Not only are the Oscars tonight, but so are a U.S. World Baseball Classic game, and a major AEW wrestling event, so be prepared for for a lot of no context “WHOA” and “OH MY GOD!”

i actually think it's lowkey problematic to joke about stabbing caesar bc for some low income senators becoming tyrant is literally the only route out of poverty

God damnit I messed up my pithing needle AGAIN

My three year old clearly got in trouble at school yesterday, but I'm slowly finding out what happened through an experimental non-linear storytelling technique where I only get to know what DIDN'T happen, like "I didn't use gentle hands"

Hey

vaxxed?

I need someone to make me a quesadilla to eat while watching husband stream, but husband is streaming

one of those isekais that take place in an otome magical school dating sim, where the main character knows everything bc she played the game in life, but instead every character got isekaid but they all think they're the only to have been isekaid and woken up in the game's world

This might be the last cold day we have, go put pulled pork in your friend's mailbox while you still can

i, for one, am delighted that we finally have a definition of “woke”

Sooo seems like the straits are on one again 🙄 🥱

Thought about Piper and Paul's Olympic free dance out of nowhere and cried a little bit

ECONOMY: SHAMBLES OIL: $300 PER BARREL COUNTRY: ON FIRE REPUBLICANS: Hey man can i look in your child's pants? Just for a second man is it cool if i inspect your child's genitals. Just a quick little look man it's totally cool i just need to make sure you're not doing crimes. Just a quick touch man-

Relatable 😀🤣

Okay but what do the 21% of MAGA Republicans who believe that diversity makes the U.S. a better place to live... Actually want?

one of the challenges of writing this book was conveying the proper nuance. yes, conservatives are banning books and that’s the real threat. but also a fair number of progressives have adopted an unhealthy censorship mindset, which changes how they view and patronize art

I started reading The Silmarillion out loud as a bit and now I'm not allowed to stop parenthood is a prison

There is nothing quite like the momentary high of thinking the child slept in until 8:15 before you realize it's daylight savings

Larb ped from Grandma's Philly fixed me

conley woods? the deckbuilder? no.

I'm at The Merry Widow and it's equal parts funny and magical. People "don't care about ballet" because it's expensive and you need to live close to a big city to access it, not because it's irrelevant or abtruse.

My ballet beer has a resealable top do not ask how much I paid for this

I made Evan watch this but I did give him the drink first

this is what it feels like to post on bluesky

Remember how Joe Rogan was "just asking questions" about trans women and sports and didn't have a problem with trans people otherwise? He's now a full on anti-trans genocidal fascist. There is a reason you hold the line at sports.

I am once again questioning this warp wall placement

one thing about rich people i really don't get is driving drunk. or more generally driving at all. i make under $80k and i already don't want to drive myself to/from anything. if you're making $20m a year and driving yourself around, you're out of your mind

My three year old revealed some bad UX at Wegmans by repeatedly canceling instead of hitting the print button. Why should you have to move your finger between these screens?!

Windows 14 rumored to have a free trial with no limit on playtime all the way up to level 70, including the award winning expansions "Heavensward" and "Stormblood," sources say.

How to win in November

Chat is this real

Chat I finally relaced my skates

This is a good response.

What a week, huh?

Today on The Runthrough: Not Olympic Champion Sarah Hughes: all the high profile Magic content creators are trying to get Amber- Adam Rippon: do not say those words in that order ever again

This is certainly a take

No context allowed or needed

It's March 1st

Sorry but I love it every time that the fraud betting apps go health insurance mode and find the smallest discrepancy to justify not paying out to the inside traders who are its core customer base. Eat shit.

When I see an adult skater with an alternative-y program, I feel instant kinship, both in terms of taste, and the pragmatism in only having to buy one black dress for both testing and competing

Environmental storytelling

This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t