This might be the single funniest thing that has happened during this incredibly cursed year

ryan lizza is asking you to decide if you’re normal sick or willing to pay for this shit sick

he never looks at JD that way

*Alexa tell me everything you know about Haiti “This won’t end well”

DYING at 9 down what the fuck lol

wait is this the "four types of guys online" meme

this is taking waaaaaaaaaay too long but at least it seems to be Happening

Someone from Nebraska should make an album called New Jersey

I guess one difference between me and Elon Musk is that, if I was gaming an AI to say these things about me, and everyone could see that I had done this, I'd have simply no choice but to set myself on fire.

someone please please please please please please please tell me how to turn this fucking thing off it is killing me

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Wordle 1,615 X/6* ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩🟨🟩 ⬛🟩🟩⬛🟩 ⬛🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩

So, I had a pair of low top All-Stars for most of undergrad and all of grad school, then a pair that lasted me both of my first two jobs. And so on. This most recent pair is less than a year old and is already falling apart.

if u need me I'll be in my office listenin 2 this on a loop bc that's the Wednesday vibe today ok open.spotify.com/track/3JgQE9...

I can't tell if I love THE BEAST IN ME or I just fucking adore these actors (possibly both + very thinly veiled riffing on THE JINX which I also like a lot)

I don't know why the "Piggy" thing is bothering me so much. It's one more unforgivable thing in a list of 20,000 unforgivable things, but I've been mad about it for like 12 straight hours.

“Senator Fetterman has sold us out, and that’s why the Pennsylvania Working Families Party is committed to recruiting and supporting a primary challenge to him in 2028.” — Shoshanna Israel, Mid-Atlantic political director for the Working Families Party 🔗 www.inquirer.com/politics/wor...

after reading the Nuzzi and Lizza pieces yesterday I don’t want to see any of you badmouthing your own writing again

This is the worst roster I’ve ever seen

SHOCKER

yeah I 100% do not understand how you just stand there and say nothing

to be fair it is really hard to get rid of bamboo

BELLOWING this fucking mess...

sticking to auto belay while I wait out a pinched nerve in my back* & the thing abt auto belay is it shows me I'm a better climber than I allow myself to be on the bouldering wall (* very aware that this is not the best way to deal with a back injury & uninterested in any commentary on that fact)

Every day is another day I don't regret canceling my NYT subscription.

me BLASTING out of the bar last night exhausted and drunk: "PHEW big night!" 20-something bouncer: "it's.... 9:15."

there's something incredibly humbling about trying to explain discourse to an offline person

I screamed

:: tfw u want to wash yr new sweater but yr all out of Pain Itself ::

IT HAPPENED AGAIN "fuck this rocks wtf is it?" For the past month the answer has been, "it's SPRINTS you moron" open.spotify.com/track/7FzSzN...

I don't think it was that easy this was one that I just feel like I knew a lot (which is extremely rare) lol

fuck you guys I just used Python for the first time in my entire life what the fuck

Happy Book Day to me & @kevinlferguson.bsky.social & please have your school's library grab a copy of GENERATION X from @bloomsburyacad.bsky.social www.bloomsbury.com/us/generatio...

[live footage of us trying to come up with a vacation budget today]

onion really biting that feedin' hand this month

I need a rug for my bedroom and learned about the magic of the "new with flaw" search on ebay you guys if this rug is nice this is a fucking steal will update

Oh fuck off

made a new bff on my walk today

omg

wow for a party that doesn't back Mamdani the Dems sure are falling all over themselves to fundraise off his win

I wrecked this on the first try and I've never been more ashamed 😬

great day for the legal theory of "not guilty if it's funny enough"

The arc of history is a foot-long, but it bends towards justice.

barely a metaphor lmao

oooh now I want a full list of women's names invented by novelists

If any of the million people who were supposedly fleeing New York after a Mamdani win would like to give me their apartment I’m willing to brave the socialist hellscape the establishment was warning us about.

I've promised myself I'll be in NY for The Big Party (you know the one) but I'm bummed I'm not there for this I'll bet tonight's a big fun night over there

I bet he can pronounce it now