I named my fists Harry and David because they’re going to deliver delicious treats to your face

Fact: two of the Golden Girls have verbs as first names

Since overhearing this conversation, I have often still wondered what the “Mexican food conversation” was and rued that I’ll never know

Glad to be home in DC after a week in Colorado. I do like at least a tinge of moisture in my air, and dislike feeling like a desiccated husk

Wake up, babe—new apples just dropped!

"We're just men, we're just innocent men"

Jack White + Eminem halftime show

Drinking a Midmorning Fizz in front of the TV and not cooking for a change because we’re visiting my wife’s fam in Denver. I’ll take it

That is, the Washington Post editorial board

At a coffee shop and unfortunately I am already being subjected to “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time.” Send help

Metal (musical genre)

Impossible to pick just one, but today let’s say “She’s an Angel”

It's my favorite day! It's the 38th anniversary of the Max Headroom signal broadcast intrusion! 1st incident lasted 25s during the 9PM news on WGN-TV in Chicago; The 2nd, 2hrs later, lasted ~90s on PBS affiliate WTTW during Dr. Who. You can watch it here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqge...

We really need a Link Wray historical marker at the old Fredericksburg VA armory where he performed Rumble for the first time. I always think about his line in Shine A Light about stopping at a country store on Route 301.

this fast version of Strawberry Fields on Anthology 4 is weird. I'm glad the album version is not this fast, it's stressing me out

imagine walking down the beach and seeing jesus carrying some guy

which reminds me of one of my most embarrassing errors ever, when a radio host told me his first studio was "an immense room" and I thought he said "in a men's room" (which actually made total sense in the context of the story as well)

The only king I acknowledge

The Facebook of Love

There needs to be a filter to remove any skeet with more than one hashtag. Even one is being lenient

Hard to imagine this didn't make it with this extremely appealing name

Today is an excellent day to restore Link’s account, as other people who did the exact same thing were only given short suspensions. He was one of the most positive voices here and he deserves to be reinstated.

Huge thanks to everyone who has donated wood to our woodchuck enclosure. We have reached an undetermined percentage of our goal.

There's a new story out from @thelocal.to about yet another seemingly AI-fueled freelance-writer scammer that I also had a brush with, this one named "Victoria Goldiee." thelocal.to/investigatin...

wishing a very get narsty to all who observe

Link's perma ban is wrong and should be reversed. And what illustrates it being EVEN MORE WRONG, are recent suspensions with restoration with much much more egregious offenses in the same line of what Bluesky claims Link was banned over. FREE LINK.

she’s a 10 but Excel thinks she’s October

this reminds me of when I had to get a dragonfly out of a bedroom in a Florida condo

@deck.blue really needs to mute replies to posts with muted words as well as the posts themselves (I thought apropos of nothing)

I get why it happens but goddamn do I wish anything could hit as hard on the timeline as something that sucks that everyone hates written by or about the worst person you know. I wish something good or interesting was able to get anywhere near the traction some shit that sucks does.

Like mom always said

What if we just didn’t talk about idiots. Talking about idiots proves they rule our lives. Imagine a life without idiots and just move on people!

oh hello there. i wasnt expecting you. you caught me reading two books at once

RFK Jr. smokes DMT? Maybe the elves are anti-vaxx

At a coffee place listening to a woman explain to a man why yoga is a sin. Why did I not bring my earbuds

great song, and can't not give some love to The Cramps version youtu.be/n9-HJu6osew?...

I hadn't thought about the lizard video in a while www.instagram.com/reel/CMgQmNm...

An audio transcription app I'm using rendered "Sudoku" as "pseudo coup" and that's totally what it should be called instead

A classic!

I thought I could, you know, maybe swing a bargain. — Sorry. — All right. Can't blame me. I tried. It's a material world and I'm a material girl. I better cruise. I gotta check this guy Chico on the east side. He's real interested in this. — All right. — Hey, how's your band going anyway?

guy piccioto saying "follow those white belts to the make-up show" is one of the realest funniest things I can imagine

Tom Robbins’ “Another Roadside Attraction,” which showed teenage me how you can play with language. It was the first Robbins I read.

Journalist friends, you know what to do. Sarah Kendzior was suspended, she doesn’t know why, and the head of T&S said he won’t confirm whether or not the suspension was intentional unless media requests hit a threshold

We’re just innocent men

Every element of this is comedic perfection.

The same dude invented Lite-Brite and Mouse Trap? Legend

REPORTER: How do you want to be identified in the story? ANONYMOUS SOURCE: Doesn’t matter. Just make me sound cool—like I do an important job. REPORTER: