Many a jaw jutted and a bollock string snapped on the Royal Variety show for the 150th anniversary of Les Miserables (aka The Glums), and that's really funny to watch when you realise the whole thing is just one endless fucking Westlife song.

My oldest bestest friend and current Son Of The Atom collaborator Damien/Zhamiyenne/Dame Aeon has his arrangement of O Holy Night on The Nation's Favourites Carols on Sky Arts tonight the talented scallywag

What’s good about Walliams is we don’t have to separate the art from the man

To provoke a wave of needling banality is my guess

Or "acting". As Peter O'Toole put it, "farting about in disguises". Hey, the total bollocks I used to write for AU, there's hope for you yet.

"By the grace of your.... HAND." Wrecks me every time.

Dude at work puts The Monkees on in the tea room every morning. How many miles of sped up film did these fuckers generate riding about on tiny tricycles

Rob Reiner made life so much better than it would otherwise have been. What more can a human being do. RIP

🎶 maureen's over/if you want tea 🎶

same people who wouldn't let the spiderman symbol be on a three-year-old's tombstone says billionaires can help you create disney princess hentai now

When you order a Revolut debit card you can put your own design on it. I attempted a Dorothy Parker quote, "I hate all rich people, but I think I'd make a grand one" and Jesus wept ⚠️ REASON FOR REJECTION: DEPICTION OF DRUGS, ALCOHOL, FIREARMS, WEAPONS, MILITARY EQUIPMENT

Look guys, if the gays can boycott the Eurovision, the very very very least you can do is boycott FIFA

Shirley Manson might be in a sin bin right now, but don't forget she did once make us believe a Terminator could be made of wood

Wonderful Christmastime is music for ding dongs

The @thelouvreof.bsky.social will never go out of business

Surely a lot of people are voting for him because they think he’s racist? Not sure having that confirmed will hurt him.

In fact he could just stand still for the camera, also fine.

But Piers, grifting the gammon requires Woke to be eternal.

So a grown up i know didnt think cats drank water, only milk, and I reckon there's a sizable number of people running about who think dogs only eat strings of sausages and cartoons are documentaries.

The Scrubs reboot must go down the same tube as the Frasier one, or THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS ALL WE'LL EVER GET

Look, literally no-one on the planet had a Rollercoaster Tour haircut within the timeframe of Stranger Things.

Fucker can rock til he drops and fair play, but what you shouldn't get to do is shake the world by the ankles with an emotional farewell tour that lasts a quarter of century.

Having just endured his Santa Claus Is Coming To Town in a shopping centre, perfect quartertone sharp the entire way through, I canNOT be alone amongst humans in being ground in the teeth by Frank Sinatra's pitchiness.

I think its a fair question that if this person can do this on the spot with a couple of markers, why do neither of the zoetrope LPs I own actually do anything but turn around.

Seem to have found my way into a list, time will tell if it's akin to the Twitter one my Good Friday account rolled onto, "people to follow and never ever engage with"

Considering going to the Mandela Hall next year to see General Zod sing Cuyahoga

My mother saved for years to go to Corfu she didn't get charitable status for it.

What a horrible day to have eyes

"LET ME VACCINATE YOU WITH MY HARVEST"

A true sign that Viz needs to circulate more in the USA: their unpreparedness for the word "felching" this accursed morning

They line up perfectly.

Controversial

Can this Anthology 4 be the end of the Beatles pls... not because I don't adore them, but because I think there comes a point where you are entitled to feel like you have completed them. I don't want stuff coming out that's.. shit. That said, where's the Rubber Soul anniversary remixes etc etc

It all becomes clear. Shabana Mahmood is bringing the asylum process into line with Cash in the Attic. It keeps the pensioners happy.

You couldn't grow a more Went On To Play Jesus In Jesus Christ Superstar man in a tube. www.westendtheatre.com/321653/news/...

Another psychosis to delight blueskold. Me, I say go for it, only by aiming this low can we truly understand our own species.

Call this a subskeet I guess, but if a cultural idea finds a market, it's because people want it. If people want something that doesn't impact you and you have to go out of your way to take a shit on it, you're a malicious, snobby tit.

Big fan of the modern adage "a conspiracy theorist believes the second thing they hear". Apparently even if the second thing they hear after "vaccinate" is "vampire potatoes"

Since Wes Streeting barely won his seat, I think it would be cruel of us to let him run a country.

Judas' Law: the answer to a scientific headline posed as a question is "no.'

I feel like we have the opportunity to turn David Lynch's quote into this moment's "Keep Calm and Carry On" and it's a far better rallying cry too.

"Where's your fucking poppy"

Maybe, just maybe the only way off this conga line of half-dead farts giving forth on their stupid, unqualified opinions is to quit marinading them in authority cos they talks all proper like. Our contract with an artist is finished when the credits roll, they walk offstage or the song ends.

Thinking only of Rosalind Franklin today, and what was stolen from her (and so many other female scientists alongside her).

Yes yes yes

The UK media's maniacal dissection of every Trump fart is so exhausting. I get The Context USA was a handy way for the BBC not to have to talk about Gaza, but lets move the hell on.

"A vinyl"