#IOftenPrayFor Peace love and curry.

#IOftenPrayFor better music when I'm on hold. Or even a bit of variation. Or death.

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts DO: spread that grass seed everywhere DON'T: well, maybe not everywhere...

Do: Appreciate springtime Don't: Stage a musical about Nazis #SpringtimeDosAndDonts

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Don’t Listen To The Naysayers

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Do celebrate spring by dragging out the rusty old barbeque and firing it up for a feast with friends. Don't set fire to the shed, no matter how drunk you are.

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Do get outside and don't forget to have a good sense of humour 😉

Do not disturb the bees; they’re out doing important work. #SpringtimeDosAndDonts

Might want to be prepared for #SpringtimeDosAndDonts

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Do share humour Don't shirk on the opportunity

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Do keep your garden looking trim with some careful weeding and grass cutting. Don't annoy your neighbours who may be outside enjoying the lovely weather. Cut your grass at 4am while they are all asleep.

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Will be up to you?

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Do plant your 'crop' early to ensure a steady supply throughout the summer. Don't burn the harvested bushes outside or you'll have the Old Bill round

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Do cast your clout as soon as you see the May in flower. Don't leave your clout hanging in the hawthorn, it's unsightly and disgusting.

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Do spare a thought for the birds and the bees Don't think about that you smutty lot. It's not what I meant at all.

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts do wear clean underwear, don't forget your trousers

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Do Enjoy A Pint Or Two

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Don’t Be An Asshole

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts don't screw up against Arsenal on Sunday

#SpringtimeDosAndDonts Do Win The Premier League

If I was possessed, #IdBendOverBackwardFor a trip downstairs.

#IdBendOverBackwardFor my family. The best part is, they almost never ask me to.

#IdBendOverBackwardFor the ability to bend further over forward.

#IdBendOverBackwardFor these skills.

There's no chance #IdBendOverBackwardFor wards or sideways. I can do leaning, or sitting, or lying down but I need a bit of warning before I move.

#IdBendOverBackwardFor for a chance to win a limbo competition.

#IdBendOverBackwardFor A chiropractor, or even one from Alexandria, or Lagos or London.

#SorryCantI__ have a do over? 😬

#SorryCantI__ have one for my foot too?

Help you move? #SorryCantI__ promised my mom I'd help her pluck her moustache this week and it's gonna take a while!

I'm #SorryCantI magine what came over me.

#SorryCantI__ Just kiss you without asking the 1980s said i could

#SorryCantI just enjoy drinks and eye-candy without judgment? 🥃💵

Anaconda Karenina #ReptilesInBooksOrMovies

Crocodile M for Murder #ReptilesInBooksOrMovies

The Girl With The Komodo Dragon Tattoo #ReptilesInBooksOrMovies

Stir Of Geckos #ReptilesInBooksOrMovies

Earth to Gecko. #ReptilesInBooksOrMovies

#ReptilesInBooksOrMovies 🎥 Herbie Goes Salamanders 🦎

High Gilas #ReptilesInBooksOrMovies

#ReptilesInBooksOrMovies Gila Monster's Ball

The Lizard of Oz #ReptilesInBooksOrMovies

#ReptilesInBooksOrMovies 🎥 Turtle Recall 🐢

The answer to that question, @lincolnproject.us is that many of those House Republicans profited from it and, even if they didn't, they are all fu*king cowards who fear invoking the wrath of their Bulbous Orange God.

#ImPuttingATaxOn totp from the 90s

#ImPuttingATaxOn Republican pederasty. We’re all gonna be fuckin’ millionaires via rebate checks.

#ImPuttingATaxOn Churches. Pay up or we start handling this Norwegian style.

#ImPuttingATaxOn Housewives with criminal records.

#ImPuttingATaxOn the money you still owe me for protection.

#ImPuttingATaxOn the official makeup brand of the current administration.