Poetry is just a bunch of tricks of language to make the reader think or feel things. You can even trick a robot into giving you instructions for building a nuclear bomb. It’s pretty useful.

Damn. If I couldn’t feel worse about accidentally stealing a parking spot at wegmans today, I do now. Can’t imagine the financialization of every interaction with my fellow humans. I already have empathy and guilt, you add concrete material debt to that and I am cooked.

ken griffey jr

If there ever was such a thing as a gender affirming hat…

respectfully, I had not seen a picture of Zohran's wife before today and I am hitting myself in the head with a hammer at this time

With a spoon.

The thickness of your wheat is a status symbol in this economy. The girthier the better.

The only way anyone is moving to Utah from NYC is their parents live in Utah

If he sends me a check I’m using all of it to buy a bill board with the pic of him and Epstein

In addition to candy, consider instant mac, ramen, etc as a Halloween hand out this year.

my populist run for office undone when pictures get out of my cow tools tattoo

And yet. Here i am.

If you dig a hole deep enough you come out of the other side of the earth. That's the easiest way to dig yourself out of a hole. You just have to be careful that you when get to the other side, you don't fall out or else you'll just keep falling until you hit the moon.

Similar to the famous quote, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member”, I propose another: I don’t want to own any politician who could be bought.

Perfect, no notes

oh yeah for sure man, i’ll be there by the second inning. i just gotta stop off to pick up some drinks. there’s supposedly a really lovely cask my dumbass friend snagged without affirming it’s authenticity. i’m just gonna pop over to his cellar and sample it quick to make sure it’s good

This is a really good article, and as an inveterate shitposter, I keep asking where the adults are. I don’t *want* to be protesting! I don’t *want* to be arrested for standing up to oppression!! I want a boring government that works and takes care of everyone and I can go be stupid online!!!

I wonder what the survey says about french fries? Like what % of people are so dumb that they don't know what a french fry is made of?

Every lifted F-150 Raptor west of Fort Worth Texas will be for sale if this happens.

We’re getting really close to 2020 levels of absurd fighting with cops

Insane Wells Fargo collab. Up there with VWs collabs in the 1940s.

Put it in the @thelouvreof.bsky.social

I will send them $10/month and let them text me everyday asking for more

It’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow. This is so funny. My mom is not happy that I think it’s funny.

We keep to the old ways here

I will go outside and yell my thoughts at random birds before I go to mastodon

this exists it is called thinking

They’ve got a cheesesteak truck out front of the Lowe’s that is top 5 in the Commonwealth.

this is wild to think about. Johnson's letter to congress after the austin shooting. library.cqpress.com/cqalmanac/do...

Timothy McVeigh getting no respect

Imagining RFK Jr saying any multi syllable word is hilarious because that’s when the worm in his brain tries to escape. You can hear it in his voice.

the barrel is full of pronouns

No cheating. Post the last photo of your pet. (She’s there, I promise)

"Amy Luers is the senior global director for Sustainability Science and Innovation, Microsoft, Redmond, Washington, USA."

Say what you will about Rev. James Dobson, but he committed his life to being as vile, evil, and hateful as he could be, consistently, every single day. He hated his fellow humans utterly and completely, and that kind of steadiness of character is admirable in this day and age.

It used to be one kid out of nine in the 60s. The nineties, it was 1/7. Now, 25%. The stats don’t lie. Rizzling is an epidemic.

Was planning a trip to DC to watch a ballgame on my birthday in September but I’m going to Pittsburgh instead.

Really stick it to Spirit Airlines with one of these bad boys

Cuomo is getting advice from Trump and a Bill Clinton endorsement. The ruling class perverts are so out of touch they think assembling Epstein’s buddies to support a sex pest is a good idea.

What the fucking f

you are attending crew movie night or i am putting you in the air lock

It’s been a minute, but I think it’s because sex is cool.

Let’s hear it For the boys The boys Who are back in town (Back in town)

Jokic after winning an NBA title: "😐Job's done. Time to go home now. 😐" Jokic after his horse wins a race: <Rocky voice> "THIS...IS THE GREATEST NIGHT........IN THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE...........YO ADRIANNNNNNNN, WE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!"

Some people have suggested that everyone should be covered…