Babe Ruth hit 149 home runs after Robert Duvall was born.

Nobody is having meatloaf and apple pie at a Super Bowl party.

omg everybody go draw a horse this is what the internet was made for gradient.horse

It’s so close

I think the Olympics should introduce a new sport every four years. Just a totally from scratch sport and every country has to figure out to play it.

Been thinking about this for a while. @cowtoolsdaily.bsky.social

Your second favorite aircraft

It’s like @artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social in tweet form…

As nefarious as capitalism is, the worst part is the chilling effect it has on worker’s free speech. Like if said Cat Scratch Fever is a stupid song, and Ted Nugent is an investor in the company I work for, I would think twice about saying that song is really stupid, like it sucks so bad. I might no

I think the play clock should be shortened to 10 seconds in the last two minutes. #gobirds

Whenever RFK walks into a zoo:

probably bc it looked sick as hell

People who work in oil and natural gas know that cheaper oil is bad (<$60/bbl is hard to pay for drilling & maintenance costs). People who own oil companies know that costs in other countries are way lower and are happy to play a volume game.

babe wake up, they're doing insider trading on war crimes

FIFA Peace Prize Winner displaces Nobel Peace Prize Winner

BBS is a company of values.

Wish I had the dedication, drive, and ability to be a good poster, but I can’t even be a reliable reply guy.

Perfect tweet, no notes

Poetry is just a bunch of tricks of language to make the reader think or feel things. You can even trick a robot into giving you instructions for building a nuclear bomb. It’s pretty useful.

Damn. If I couldn’t feel worse about accidentally stealing a parking spot at wegmans today, I do now. Can’t imagine the financialization of every interaction with my fellow humans. I already have empathy and guilt, you add concrete material debt to that and I am cooked.

ken griffey jr

If there ever was such a thing as a gender affirming hat…

respectfully, I had not seen a picture of Zohran's wife before today and I am hitting myself in the head with a hammer at this time

With a spoon.

The thickness of your wheat is a status symbol in this economy. The girthier the better.

The only way anyone is moving to Utah from NYC is their parents live in Utah

If he sends me a check I’m using all of it to buy a bill board with the pic of him and Epstein

In addition to candy, consider instant mac, ramen, etc as a Halloween hand out this year.

my populist run for office undone when pictures get out of my cow tools tattoo

And yet. Here i am.

If you dig a hole deep enough you come out of the other side of the earth. That's the easiest way to dig yourself out of a hole. You just have to be careful that you when get to the other side, you don't fall out or else you'll just keep falling until you hit the moon.

Similar to the famous quote, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member”, I propose another: I don’t want to own any politician who could be bought.

Perfect, no notes

oh yeah for sure man, i’ll be there by the second inning. i just gotta stop off to pick up some drinks. there’s supposedly a really lovely cask my dumbass friend snagged without affirming it’s authenticity. i’m just gonna pop over to his cellar and sample it quick to make sure it’s good

This is a really good article, and as an inveterate shitposter, I keep asking where the adults are. I don’t *want* to be protesting! I don’t *want* to be arrested for standing up to oppression!! I want a boring government that works and takes care of everyone and I can go be stupid online!!!

I wonder what the survey says about french fries? Like what % of people are so dumb that they don't know what a french fry is made of?

Every lifted F-150 Raptor west of Fort Worth Texas will be for sale if this happens.

We’re getting really close to 2020 levels of absurd fighting with cops

Insane Wells Fargo collab. Up there with VWs collabs in the 1940s.

Put it in the @thelouvreof.bsky.social

I will send them $10/month and let them text me everyday asking for more

It’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow. This is so funny. My mom is not happy that I think it’s funny.

We keep to the old ways here

I will go outside and yell my thoughts at random birds before I go to mastodon

this exists it is called thinking