Me, when the nearby restaurant employees start gossiping

If you’re reading work emails on a plane without a screen protector then WE’RE reading work emails on a plane

Devastated to hear that a very old tortoise I have never heard of until today, has died

“i was testing you” - a loser with nothing to offer

I know my brain is absolutely cooked bc I just saw a video of a roomba escaping its house before getting hit by a car and it made my heart hurt 😔

she’s def got those photos on a google drive

“Get his ass, Columbo,” -me, while watching Columbo

Favorite costume: “Dead bleacher bum that fell into the ivy” He was wearing a Cubs jersey covered in blood and had a slashed throat and he was covered in ivy. Very fun!

Never heard my husband say “wow” more than now, as we’re watching How It’s Made: Bricks

a trans girl in vermont was kicked off her swimming team and committed suicide and at the very same time, the discourse in d.c. today is about whether the democratic party should’ve abandoned her sooner in order to win votes a day in an american life

"Man goes scorched earth on ICE agents kidnapping people in his hometown." Source: old.reddit.com/r/PublicFrea...

Why, yes, Josh Naylor played a lot of hockey growing up. How can you tell?

Hey heads up, it’s an asshole move to spray perfume on a plane

Wearing a Mariners hat in NYC this week has been fuckin awesome

“Gotta stop saying Seattle stole this one. They earned it.” Okay Derek Jeter respecting the Mariners on a Sunday night

They're just flabbergasted that we're not a super shitty bad team FUCKING GOMS BABY

It feels like a fever dream that just a few months ago, Elon Musk would routinely address the media in the Oval Office in a t-shirt and jacket while the president just sat there and looked at him.

Oh, him?????

Simply the least stressful game of all time

Hate that I’m immediately thinking of the messages Kerkering will receive from sports gamblers

get him off the mound get him off the mound get him off the mound get him off the mound get him off the mound get him off the mound

So exciting! I saw a guy in a Mariners hat here in Albuquerque and I said "tridents up" and he said "what the hell is that?" And he walked away angrily. Classic!

A woman has asked me to watch her luggage at the airport which is a thing we’re repeatedly told not to do

I can’t believe I got to witness hot dogs from heaven. It’s as beautiful as it is on tv

k

I forgot how beautiful Seattle is :’)

Flying Chicago to Seattle and there’s more mariners fans on this thing than I thought there would be

Naylor really loves Tucker

The last time the Mariners won the division, I couldn’t legally drive yet. I’m almost 40.

BIG MAPLE!!!!!!!!!! I SCREAMED!!!!!

Next up for the Savannah Bananas… the legend himself, Jamie Moyer

given the frequency in which Google AI is blatantly wrong, I’m thinking this means the Ms going all the way

Naylor gave a post game shoutout to Tucker the dog. He really loves that dog

With so much happening in the world, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that the Mariners are once again tied for first place

Leo Rivas is a total team player at all times and an excellent human being. Love a moment like this for him. #TridentsUp #SeattleMariners

Me, 162 mornings per year: i cannot wait to watch my favorite baseball team play today!!! The promise of watching my favorite baseball team play is the only thing getting me out of bed and to work today!!!! Me, 75 nights per year: my favorite baseball team has destroyed my will to live. goodnight.

I understand being in your sports feelings is in bad taste around here. Apologies. I want so badlyto be free of the Jerry Dipoto Era of Mariners baseball. This entire project is devoid of ambition, deeply cynical and craven in concept, and has sucked so much joy out of Mariner baseball for so many

He’s perfectly fine :(((((

tried to explain the entire plot of All Dogs Go To Heaven to my husband and started crying like 30 seconds into talking

The Seattle Mariners are still my friends so you cannot be mean to them tonight.

Bazardo has been passed the torch

In the middle of a Chicago thrift store, I was visited by the ghosts of some 2010s Mariners and they said everyone should chill

10 games is kind of a thing for Robles this season

Some people think it’s perfectly fine to boo players. Others think it’s silly and should never be done. But we can all agree that booing an umpire absolutely slaps.

tbh this is the team 🔱

my favorite part of the Ichiro speech was when he told the guys not to blow it

When Naylor smiles, it feels earned.

have you guys ever heard of Cal Raleigh? Seems good.

totally understand it’s just how genetics work, but when I see siblings who look really similar, I can’t not say something