This is pork belly benedict and it's one of the best things I've ever eaten

GOMS

GodDAMN Julio!

Luke's dad strength is in full force this season

As is this 🫡

Cole Young

Guys they make neapolitan Lindor truffles and they fuck SO hard

Everyone is screaming ABS and im over here screaming IBS from my bathroom

DOM I LOVE YOU

The Cutwater mango margarita is an ELITE beverage

NUKE RALEY BABYYYYY

I MISSED BRENDAN DONOVAN'S FIRST MARINER DINGER?????? I WILL KI*L SOME*NE

🤌🤌🤌

First tequila shot of the season!

It DIDN'T FUCKING RECORD. I'M GOING TO THROW HANDS

My kid has baseball practice until 7 tonight 🥲 I've got the pregame and actual game set to record but I'm BIG SAD I won't get to be live with you guys for the first hour or so

in the stripped club. straight up 'jorking it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. My P3NY5

joining the air force 🤝 getting 3 outs today things paul skenes almost did

well at least Skenes Almost made it out of the first inning. For the Troops

If you need something to entertain you while you wait for the Mariners game, maybe watch my new cake video? 👉👈 I cry in it! I have a whole mental breakdown! youtu.be/LhYJ19QNc0A

Wake up babe, it's Opening Day 🥹

Was pulling into my neighborhood tonight and the clouds looked like trump about to take a money shot

Aaron Judge golden sombrero. It's beautiful 🥲

Broadcasters say José Caballero's name correctly challenge: IMPOSSIBLE

My advice to TV networks trying to dress up intros to sports games: Do less. And then do even less than that.

This Netflix broadcast is corny as hell

✨ THE PEOPLE YEARN FOR LEAGUE-WIDE OPENING DAY ✨

I'm accomplishing absolutely nothing today. I keep getting distracted by baseball and my team doesn't even play for another 30 hours 😭

Mr Selina and I have finally started watching The Pitt and you all tried to warn me but I was NOT PREPARED for S1 ep8 😭 I don't typically cry at shows or movies (thanks Zoloft!) but that shit WRECKED me

I've gained about 1200 new followers since last baseball season, and as we are rapidly approaching Opening Day (!!!!!) I feel it's only right of me to warn you all that I'm an insane Mariners fan and if you don't want to see my 15+ skeets per game, I suggest unfollowing now. THANKSSSS, GOMS BABYYYYY

Lol Lmao

I'm so happy we get Josh Naylor in Mariners commercials this year

pls alt text yr photos so we know who the hell it is / what movie or tv show you're talking about

My car battery died but I'm being very brave about it

Baseball is so fun. I love baseball

IMPORTANT

I'm watching baseball in the bath and feeling more relaxed than I have in ages

Check that umpire's DraftKings bets

Oh that was some complete bullshit

My body doesn't know how to handle stressful March baseball

Hang it in the Louvre

HELL yes Julio

Paul Skenes if you just hurt Julio I will haunt you forever

I have seen no movies

Holy fan interference. What a DORK

Hi I got new glasses

Go Canada imo

I'm a fucking disgusting sicko freak and I desperately want the Buffalo Wild Wings protein buffalo seasoning espresso martini thing

She loves snow more than anything 🥹

Slow-mo hot Italian men doing shots of espresso is exactly the type of baseball content I want