One thing about summer that I cannot get enough of the the bug/frog chatter. It is like the white noise of heat. I wonder what key it is.

Feels like my duty as an American to share this.

My local gay bar has added Cubano Eggrolls to the menu. Cubes of pork and pickles suspended in a mustard goo in a crispy wonton wrapper. They are as delicious as they are bad for my heart and I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE. (I do care please keep me out of here.)

This morning, I popped The Question* to @thewrongsongs.bsky.social and he said YES! (*The Question being “Do you want to go to the Shoney’s Breakfast Bar?)

credit where credit is due, getting your cult addicted to tallow before importing screwworms is a good bit

Oh, my ovaries.

I hate John Lennon but this one is a banger, etc.

How much eye contact with your pedicurist is normal? 😳

I am not trying to be judgmental, but most people without tattoos aren’t impulsive and insane enough for me. There are exceptions, obviously. Like @princessrachie.bsky.social for instance.

Post an album you have listened to 100 times.

RIP Marjane Satrapi

I just woke up from a dream where in masked terrorists had kidnapped Tom Cruise and were preparing to peel his face off on live television. Why brain WHYYYYY?!?

Sorry boss. Can’t come in today. New MJ doc just dropped.

Wearing a fresh, new bra today. You can’t tell me nothin.

Current trash food craving.

Share two of your favorite pics of yourself!

A really good strawberry is SO good that when you get a weak-ass strawberry it tastes like injustice.

Someone please tell me I can take a rest day.

I looked up a recipe for making poppers and I'm not sure what amyl nitrate is but I don't see any mention of cream cheese or jalapenos anywhere in this

20 laps after work.

walked to brunch with the kids and let them taste my Bloody Mary and they said it tastes like “rotten dolphins”

Shame this person until they quit breathing.

I will break the “pay for the person behind you” chain in the drive thru so damn fast.

I have done many undignified things in my life, but you will never catch me in a Water Aerobics class.

The best part about my job is when I get to tell people that don’t like me all about it.

Made a new dress before noon.

Hypothetically, if you're bitten by a vegan, you become a vegan. But they won't bite you because they're vegan.

I guess my post service survey was too sassy because I just got a call from the tire place. 😂

DEVELOPING: Rob Lowe’s band from St. Elmo’s Fire has withdrawn from President Trump’s America 250 celebration.

A pound of ground beef is more than the federal minimum wage. Read that again.

I just saw The Mandalorian And Grogu, and regardless of my opinions about it, this father/child duo was very cute to see

ChatGPT: That's right--Montresor is your friend, after all

We get it Spielberg, you REALLY want to fuck an alien.

Larb gai is life.

I hate to do it but any time it gets too muggy out (like today) I have to murder an innocent bystander. I hate this. 😞

That thing where you’re talking about your mom in therapy and she calls while you’re talking about her and it startles you so badly that you fart loud enough for your therapist to hear.

Cult leader Jim Jones used to fake assassination attempts so that his cult would worship him harder. Just thought I’d share that history with everyone

Can I get rich from opening a “no men allowed” vehicle maintenance chain?

If you hate men and hate fucking speaking to them, do not buy tires.

This is male feminism in the uk, innit

If you have “nuts” hanging from your tow hitch, I am gonna go ahead and assume it is because you don’t have any in your “pants.”

I often crave garbage foods and today it is this one:

The baby Yoda movie was excellent. It was overrun with funny little creatures and weird little guys and that’s exactly what I want from a Star Wars movie.

Reskeet with a favorite picture of yourself.

A Jim’N Nicks cheese biscuit could end wars.

My dog always gets the last sip of cereal milk because I love her.

start with trotsky. then work up to cantersky. soon you will be ready for gallopsky

JFK completes mostly successful Dallas parade.

Going to see the baby yoda film on Monday with my bff of 30 years.