I CAPTURED KASH PATEL IN A COMMON SOUL GEM AND I PUT IT IN MY RECTUM

I just came up with a new invention that will change the way that we think about soup forever, broth even. If I die it was not an accident

Comptroller= compulsory troller

How can you be an anarchist and have a pro-state gland!?

The book Borne by Jeff Vandermeer is challenging because it introduces a bear character then it goes into the domestic life of two people, then it's like "oh also the bear is 3 stories tall" and then it describes the relationship between two people then " oh also the bear can fly" lmao

Misandry? Is there a Mr Andry?

Do biblical literalists think that Chinese started at the Tower of Babel like it was one person who just fucked off towards the east

Just realized that the fact that I haven't seen a shirtwaist at all in my life is because the factory burned down

Stuffed Christ Pizza

An X-Men hero that is capable of canceling anyone within line of sight

There should be tax breaks for having different kinds of kinks

Unionizing my workplace but then our only demand is to relax the rule on vaping at work

Slipping the bartender at $20 bill to buy a glass of water for the woman at the bar because I'm a feminist

Frederick Douglas Share if you agree

The best metric in a video game is the time it takes to pet a dog It should be under 15 minutes. Fallout 4 does well but Red Dead redemption 2 is way over this

THC Shirley Temple Seltzer

There's an Instagram account that just does a series called "calling ICE every day until they put a girl on" The thing is that it's completely fake they just have the person on the other end of the line say like a bunch of slurs and it's not actually ICE I'm not sure who this is for

Spending money on promoting empty words while fighting providing monetary support for businesses impacted by the illegal ICE occupation is very on brand

What the United States is doing to Venezuela and Cuba is unconscionable and evil.

I have seen leftists believe that the Viet Cong defeated the US military. The Vietnam War wasn't small arms fighting for the vast majority of it. That's a common misconception. It was the US massacring civilians with heavy bombers and then Soviet SAMs shooting those heavy bombers down

There was a break in my brake line so they fixed it so it can brake again

I decided to ground my kids because I asked them if it's okay to violate an unjust law and they said "no you have to follow the rules" . Absolutely childish understanding of morality and I won't have that in this house

In my health class in the early 2000s there was an anti alcohol consumption poster that showed what looked like a gruff pirate turning into an attractive man the more that the viewer drinks. It was horrific messaging Can anyone help me find an image result of this poster?

I drove a RAM 3500 the other day and holy shit those things should not be on the road. Everything you want the truck to do when you have to come to a stop or make a turn just does not happen. Absolutely ridiculous vehicle. And then if you try to tow something with it it handles even worse

Chickpeas? I sure hope so. Urine is important for balancing salt concentrations. Hello I'm Dr Ness from the kidney foundation

Me: I'll take a matcha latte, iced, no poop please Them: poop? Me: no thank you

I've seen a lot of people on social media say that ICE is not like the Gestapo it's more like slave patrols. Well it's not really, and I don't understand the rhetorical goal of this line of messaging and I don't trust it. Something's fishy about this.

I don't understand why there's so much emphasis on sidewalks in residential areas when tunneling is much easier than you might think City council member: alright your time has expired

I'm not a vegetarian but the argument that plant-based foods still require agriculture and have various externalities is not a good argument. Unless somebody invents human photosynthesis it's going to be a necessity and therefore it occupies a different space. I think this is puritanical baggage

When boiling a diva cup how much chicken stock is too much to overpower the flavor

Learned yesterday that Gavin Newsom once lost a beer pong game and had to eat a turd with a knife and fork. College days are wild. I hope the footage never surfaces

We need an edit button

If ICE stops someone and that person says nothing, does not run away, and does not provide documents that interaction should end, however ICE continues to detain via this method by the hundreds daily ICE could not function- as is- in concordance with civil rights. This is a great reason to abolish

This is an inside joke that I think is funnier without context

Legislators: you can't defend your property with anything that can cause harm autonomously Trappers: what if I leave a bunch of spring loaded jaws hidden strewn throughout the woods with the justification that I'm going to use them to maim animals indiscriminately? Lawyers: sounds good to me

At the dog park I am far less afraid of rottweilers or pitbulls that I am of dogs a quarter their size that the owner has absolutely no control over

The idea that societies need to pass through a stage of capitalism before achieving socialism / communism is a colonizer mindset.

Role-playing as a liberal in Fallout 4 and I'm telling all the synths that they need to support the brotherhood of steel otherwise The institute will win

Someone labeling themselves as Marxist is fine but I've noticed that most of the people they consider themselves Marxist are far more influenced by all the writing that came after Marx. I draw influence from other sources as well but when I do it I get accused of eclecticism as if that's bad

I go back and forth on whether I consider myself a Marxist because most of the time I don't because if you were to ask an evolutionary biologist if they considered themselves darwinian it would be a very long-winded answer. There's been a lot that's happened in 150 years

I am deeply fascinated by beekeeping and having tried non-commercial honey and loving it so much I am enamored. However I must resist the siren call of beekeeping as a hobby because as neurodivergent special interests go it is the hard stuff.

John fetterman is right wing LOL

I think it's kind of cool that rabies inspired vampires, werewolves, and zombies. What other disease has been so influential on popular mythology?

if there was another earth-like planet in the solar system we would already be there even if it was the distance of Mars. The reason why we aren't on Mars is because it fucking sucks it's a planet that has already died.

My partner's friend insisted that I try a basil oregano smoothie and now 6 hours later I did an Italian cleanse Mama Mia! the toilet smells like Shit Pizza™!

So I went to one of those sensory deprivation tank things and it was really overrated really wish I would have had my phone in there with me

god damn