If there was a new Christmas song as horny as Santa Baby, accounting for inflation it’d be called like I Need Santa to Crush My Skull With His Sleigh

Even though bodies have been betraying us, presents are wrapped and under the tree. Typechip was an amazing helper all day today.

This one is extremely American Hippo coded. cc @sarahgailey.bsky.social

A job offer for Christmas Adam? I can't make jokes about the day being unsatisfying?

Pandering to my nostalgia for the first four Avengers movies is shameless enough but it's gonna get ridiculous when they do one of these ads for Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan returning for the 15th time.

Freya, goddess of cats has blessed the solstice

As we pass through the solstice, I feel like clawing and fighting to bring the light back is the energy I want to carry into the coming year. #MaintainTheLight

Tonight's conversation over Minecraft: Me: I need to keep one unemployed guy K: Why? Me: So I can make more of them. K: That's not unemployed, that's sex work. Me: Technically it's parthenogenesis since I'm turning one guy into two. K: Masturbation is still sex! Me: Is parthenogenesis masturbation?

reddit-wrapped.kadoa.com/tknophobia "A tactical genius who can optimize a path to the secret ending of a thousand-hour CRPG but refuses to play the evil route because you are fundamentally too nice to make virtual NPCs cry." jfc I feel called out

Senator Wyden from the top rope...

The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go.

It really whips the llama's ass

If you’re not willing to engage in a Butlerian Jihad against the Plagiarism Machine, you’ve never actually made anything that mattered

Twinsies

Okay, Sons of Oligarchy.

If fat shaming worked there'd be no fat people after 4th grade. "Fatshaming is good for fat people actually" is trying to be a shithead with a righteous backbone and it doesn't work. There are no guilt-free passes on being an asshole for no good reason.

One of the real insult to injury aspects of the second Trump administration is that not only has everyone in the government become like 50% more Nazi, they've also all become 1000% more reddit

Again I say: how fucking interesting that remote work technology is bad and not worth adopting despite all research pointing to productivity gains, but genAI which offers NOTHING is so important to adopt and force on people who have no use for it despite all the horrible things genAI does

Buckle up Dem establishment, because me and my maximum wage tied to the minimum wage proposal are coming for your asses

The ACA isn't just "health care for people who don't have a conventional employer." It also disallows something that was incredibly common 20 years ago, which I fear is getting lost to generational memory: insurance companies could deny you health care for essentially any previous health problem.

My wife is SO classy, guys

oh my GOD So Frito asked Typechip to put a link into Discord for her as a reference, since she was in the kitchen and he was playing a game on her computer. In one of our discord channels: "this is typechip mom neads me to send this to her and i didnt know how to slide into her dms"

This has been my take for a few years now, and it's amazing to see an entire group of people who have been arguing whether or not it's a Christmas movie all go "oh. Ohhhhhhhhh..." regardless of what side they were previously on.

I taught myself how to double boiler and melt chocolate??????

Like yes, people go 80+ in SoCal, but limiting everyone would probably cut down on accidents and brake smashing

"But what if I have to gun it in an emergency?" is one of those knee-jerk responses which evaporates when you consider the number of times you've had to do that on a residential street, vs the number of times you've had to slam on the brakes.

Normally I use Enter Sandman as my motivational guide for finals, but since today is the best rivalry game of all… BEAT ARMY

WOW. @haleaziz.bsky.social with a new scoop: ICE now gets a running list of every person who is going to be taking a domestic flight inside the United States from the TSA and runs it through their database looking for targets. This explains the Babson College student's arrest.

Trying to write a paper on this "Meet The Leaders" bullcrap really gives me the urge to go full @johnrogers.bsky.social (The CEO who dissolved his human board and installed an AI 'board of directors' particularly made me want to ragevomit)

If I’ve learned anything from @johnrogers.bsky.social, it’s to live your life in such a way that this isn’t true for you.

You will be visited by three spirits.

Repost if you're tired

Honestly I take great joy in inflicting MY memes on Typechip. ...oh god I'm Calvin's dad, aren't I.

Thoughts by a very smart friend about AI and why it's not at all suited for what its evangelists are trying to push.

For reference, we’re already halfway there

Get on our level Costco

H/T @brackenmacleod.bsky.social

I almost put a plate into the cabinet next to the microwave instead of the microwave, so that's how my brain is going this morning.

"I'm not in denial, I'm in open rebellion" damn that quote goes hard

I applied for ten jobs today. Reminds me of back when I was still playing WoW and unemployed, around Mists of Pandaria, and we framed my job search as daily quests - kill 10 mogu, etc.

Scene: Casa de Typewriter y Cornchip. Stepkid has just sampled one of the blondies being made for cookie boxes. SK: I'm gonna die. K: You're not gonna die. I mean, maybe eventually... SK: 100% of people who have eaten blondies die. Me: You know what the leading cause of death is?

“… because that would require me to think and act like a human.”

To be a spoiled cat lying in the sunbeam with all my needs met would be the ideal day

This is always funny to me

I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything else from Ea-Nasir

Another batch in to chill