Really nice to see Alyssa up to speed

"wait they're paying me WHAT in wages"

I don't know how "Chelsea: The Blueprint To Being The Best Club Team In The World*" got printed but apparently both Man U and Spurs have well thumbed copies of it *"There was a competition that proved it and everything"

More football grounds need trees

Possession football then

LMAOOOOO A bunch of comedians tried to make up for their participation in the Riyadh comedy festival by donating their pay to Human Rights Watch and Human rights Watch was like “nah bitch we don’t want your dirty blood money” 😂😂 I’m dying

The relief when it said Kenan

Yes. I was alive for this day

One of my least favourite things about this ownership is the fate tempting headlines

Disney app experience already far superior

Tolkien could have listened to the first five Black Sabbath albums.

Incredible, no notes

The relationship between academy personnel and football agencies needs to be investigated. I know there are some nasty shenanigans happening at Chelsea right now which explains a lot of these bizarre signings. Gittens being a prime example.

c.2027: "Most 'AI-assisted online shopping' was just consumers using an online platform with an AI assistant clumsily added to it. 97% of users never interacted with the AI, and three-quarters of those who did did so by mistake and immediately closed the chat window."

Bots write job descriptions. Bots send in applications for the job. Bots review the application. Once a person is hired, they use bots to produce substandard work. Their boss will ask a bot how to improve it. This is all done in the name of "efficiency."

Bluesky engineers when their website is successful

Dr. Jane Goodall filmed an interview with Netflix in March 2025 that she understood would only be released after her death.

It’s happened again

It is morally wrong to want a computer to be sentient. If you owned a sentient thing, you would be a slaver. If you want sentient computers to exist, you just want to create a new kind of slavery. The ethics are as simple as that. Sorry if this offends

Men in balaclavas set fire to a mosque in East Sussex last night. It's only appearing on the BBC's local coverage, rather than its main national headlines, despite coming just a week after the (also under-reported) firebombing of an asylum hotel in London last week www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Also Gittens is rapidly approaching the getting in his own way vortex

Steve is already very obviously our best winger

🔮

Should be a 2nd yellow and sending off for Marseca btw lmao

Gittens bro, wtf are you

two bald men fighting over a comb #CHELIV #CHELSEA

Not even SB shouting for Gusto to shoot there 😂😂

Why on earth bring on Lavia not Hato

Biggest thing I've noticed is how many ads are for our own stuff or Nike, compared to other companies. Feels like time for the Bart image.

Acheampong looks great. Who would have thought eh? Gaslighting the fans about Tosin's importance to the team was truly nasty work.

there are some interesting second order tactical reasons why Chelsea - Liverpool has been like this, but my god what a miserable half of football to watch #epl-live

Garnacho is really trying to get Bradley sent off

Maybe Maresca gets this week's red card 🤔

I mean it is just a push but who knows what the var threshold is

Cole Palmer always looks like his mum is late picking him up from school

Back to Chelsea soon? It's not luck this season - their underlying numbers are legit great. Coventry are the best attacking side in the country this season.

That's a bullshit foul, defender gets away with it

Aggie normally finishes those

Tommy being too honest for BlueCo again

No messing around team selection

comic book authors: we invented the punisher as a cautionary tale about vigilante crime fighting the director of the fbi: at long last, we are implementing the ethos from the classic comic book the punisher

imagine having a conversation about movies with someone and they say "also there aren't many actresses who are virgins anymore" you would probably call the police and you would be right to

Every part of this headline is a critical piece in a formula that will produce The Worst Game Ever Made

Least confusing way to watch Memento

One more awful thought: most Jews won't know about this yet. It's only lapsed ones like me who are on our phones. A lot of people will find out in a few hours once the fast goes out. They'll be an outpouring of grief (but not much surprise). If you feel like caveating it, don't.

Sorry: if it sounds like I'm taking this personally it's because I am, because it *is*. People murdered for standing outside a shul on the holiest day of the year. Murdered because they were Jewish. Murdered because on one particular day of the year they felt the need to congregate...