What if this is the week my soccer team learns how to play soccer and doesn't make me want to drink bleach? What if?

They say MLS can’t compete with Europe’s elite but Miami has Inter’s name, Barcelona’s players, Real Madrid’s politics, PSG’s history and Man United’s dude in all those ads

that In Bruges joke about Tottenham being purgatory is no longer valid. they are firmly in hell.

@mkstnr.bsky.social 743961

Ratings www.usatoday.com/story/sports...

Gonna ask my boss to make me work weekends so I don't have to watch Atlanta United

Jay Fortune got hurt in mid-June of last year. Atlanta United has won one (1) MLS match since then.

Atlanta sports are actually cursed

Anthropic adding a new revolutionary Claude feature literally every day while their product is as stable as Shia Labeouf is pretty tragic

Atlanta United signs Paraguayan midfielder Matías Galaraza from River Plate https://www.fivestripefinal.com/p/atlanta-united-signs-paraguayan-midfielder

Messi asking Orlando’s coaches if they wanted an autograph was some epic shit, I’m not even going to sit here and lie.

I do the ratings www.usatoday.com/story/sports...

Beckham was sent off for less

Jameese Joseph robbed of a brilliant goal. This injustice will not be tolerated.

Emma Sears is a problem. Seems like she's in the middle of every good thing the USWNT does in attack.

Big day for the Jameese Joseph Fan Club. We will not be ignored.

4 thoughts on Atlanta United dropping its second match of 2026 www.fivestripefinal.com/p/4-thoughts...

Still laughing at a team with a $50 million attack letting an on-loan center back take the free kick in the prime scoring range

Posts that aged poorly very quickly

At least we aren’t Charlotte fans

I’m shocked that adding zero attackers to the worst Atlanta United team in history didn’t make things better.

Our only good player

Well that was way more depressing than I was expecting!

Lucas Hoyos is amazing. So much experience.

Atlanta United has Chris Pine running their midfield no wonder we fucking suck

Brother is firing his agent at halftime

Hey Claude can you double my allowed usage to troll the President of the United States

The best signing Atlanta United could make is getting Jay Fortune back healthy and on the field. Respect my opinion.

Excited for 2.5 years of the best soccer of my life and 8 years of wanting to die.

*taps the sign*

There’s a very short scene in The Wire where there’s a political address happening on TV and one of the kids from the later seasons turns if off to play Halo. I think about that scene every time we have nights like tonight.

I wrote about Alysa Liu and how refreshing it is to see an athlete who enjoys what they do as an art and self-expression in the landscape of sports where being a great athlete is always presented as a miserable and joyless exercise flaminghydra.com/issue-509/?a...

Let Bodo/Glimt win the Champions League and that Super League is coming next season

More like Exit Milan amirite

Arthur Blank can spend 300 million on the Kirk Cousins disaster but we're scared to ask him to buy out Miranchuk? Aight.

My question is: will it have other programming besides game coverage like a 24/7 channel?

February 23rd: Trinity Rodman is one of the best soccer players in the world. NWSL champion, Olympic gold medalist, and a truly dynamic player that can change a game at any moment. It's a joy to watch her on the field for the @washingtonspirit.com and the #USWNT. #BlackHistoryMonth #BHM

This literally the plot of the Netflix show Running Point

Following MLS is harder than it should be, so I made an automated daily newsletter that rounds up high-quality coverage from around the league. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow but you can sign up in advance here: tally.so/r/eq6DQx

I’m a fan of Antoine Griezmann. I’m not a fan of Orlando City Soccer Club. Thank you for listening.

Suckers follow the market. Sharks go against the tide. That’s why I’ve just sold my house and all valuable possessions and bet everything on Atlanta United to win MLS Cup.

What’s it like to support a soccer team that wins

What a ball by Jesus

MLS refs be thinking they an HBO drama making us watch 60 minutes of their nonsense

VAR has ruined the sport

lol hell yeah