You have to ask yourself if South America has ever had any good soccer teams

So in the Michelob ultra commercial, the one in the hotel, not the other one in the hotel but the one on the hotel with Billy Bob Thornton - is Billy Bob Thornton playing himself or is he just playing a generic beer wanting older man?

Felt like Fox's red card thing could be clearer

Golden meh-neration

Correct

My dad just now: I bet Belgium wishes they were playing Iwalked

I been hearing about Romelu Lukaku since he was like 14 years old. It is wildly upsetting that he’s 33

I thought they had magic watches that told them when they were offside now

Has Saudi Arabia considered simply activating the release clause of every player on the planet and then forbidding them to play against their World Cup team

Not beating Cape Verde may not have been Spain’s ceiling. My article for Futi

if Tunisia hire me for the third and final game, my tactical system would be to immediately walk up to ronald koeman and punch him in the face. After that it's up to the players.

idk starting to think that maybe the manager wasn't Tunisia's issue

What’s the going rate for like yeah man we got totally pantsed in the first game so we want you to come out and take responsibility for the next two matches one of which will be completely pointless

Ok but in a way Curaçao’s goal and the Tate brothers are both incredibly difficult things to try and defend so Room’s behavior while shitty is at least consistent.

Futi doesn't have goalkeeper ratings yet so I whipped up a quick model for Eloy Room

I would rather listen to minions do a podcast about soccer than listen to the other guy from Ted Lasso explain soccer to Jameis Winston and Gronk

MLS people remember Joao Plata? That dude was good

Enner Valencia out here missing chances like they're child support payments

Call the family into the living room yall we’re reading Snaves again!

Surprise! I’m back again, talking about Brasil for @futi.live open.substack.com/pub/futiapp/...

There should be a Brazilian player named Roomba imo

Alas

What a save dang

HOW EMERSE FAE PLAYED WITH LIGHT AND SHADOW TO TACTICALLY DESTROY JULIAN NAGELSMANN - SPONSORED BY DRAFT KINGS - USE PROMOCODE TACTICO NO CAP FOR $500 OF FREE WORLD CUP BETS -

Frank Rost saves that

This, like many things from Jeff, is very good.

COLUMN: Misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye. www.theguardian.com/football/202...

point strong fast dude at goal ---> kick towards him ---> advance to knockout rounds

that was what we call total football, a concept invented by ted lasso

Ok i'm going to make some bold declarations that I'll stand by no matter what happens. Is this the best USMNT team ever? Maybe. But will they win the World Cup? Probably not that's really hard to do, but maybe.

START ROLDAN AGAINST TURKEYE POCH

That game and Warren Barton deserved each other I'm so mad he didn't get the call

The best new World Cup rivalry is this ref vs all of the players on the field

Italy must be really bad.

MLS impact baby

This Matheus Cunha guy is pretty good is the thing

Bluelock but just for finding a couple of fullbacks

I think Brazil are going to win this match

Not bringing on Roldan didn’t cost us the match, but it does shows that we’re not locked in. You can make small mistakes sometimes and get away with it, but at this tournament at the stage we’re heading to next with the world watching you got to bring on my personal favorite player

Pochettino making sure Reyna gets symbolic playing time so that his parents call off the private investigators

He’s never getting on the field yall

“Tim Weah’s dad” might be the funniest way to describe who George Weah is

Since bringing on Berhalter instead of Roldan the USMNT has been very bad

Roldan does that whole 4 minutes better than Berhalter who did it very badly

Putting Berhalter in instead of Roldan is nepotism and technically treason

For people new to soccer and learning the terminology, “shoulder to shoulder” means “any contact that i don’t personally think is a penalty”

Ok stop doing whatever this is guys

That dude vs Ream is not the matchup you want

Cristian Roldan is the greatest player to never play in a World Cup but Pochettino can change that

This is the perfect time to bring on Roldan