Oh my god you can stop wishing me a happy new year now, let's just get on with our miserable jobs

Cleaning out old screenshots/photos and this on got me all over again

Chill evening at home

Absolute cabin fever from this snow, don't want to risk going over with a big holiday and half marathon in a couple of weeks but also might murder husband.

I know everyone's banging on about how the tenth anniversary of Bowie's death is a sad day but let's not forget the most important point - he was the sexiest person to ever walk the fucking earth.

It's already been said but Fiona: #TheTraitors

Rachel, I mean this with love but: #TheTraitors

LAY EACH OTHER OUT, FISTICUFFS #thetraitors

I cannot express how BIG and STRONG the dirty martini I am making when I log off is going to be.

Shovelled the snow from the front path and threw some table salt at it, am sure it will still turn into an absolute fucking death trap.

It has irrationally annoyed me that my boss messaged at 7am saying 'I can see all the trains out of Birmingham are cancelled so you don't need to come to London'. No shit Sherlock, how else do you think I was planning on fucking getting there 🙃

On episode 7 of Pluribus and fuck me this whole things a bit of a fuckin slog innit

Every time Fiona talks all I can hear in my head is 'Je turn around' on fuckin repeat. #TheTraitors

I’m voting for yourself, Gru

"I'm going to vote for you again Jade, for two reasons" Is one of them because you were bad at your job #TheTraitors

Genuinely starting to feel a bit sorry for Sam even though he's a prick, just because everyone so obviously fucking hates him 😅 #thetraitors

Claudia's jackets gonna be pure honkin' after being stood in the rain all day. #thetraitors

2016 - 2026. 10 years since we got Ziggy Stardust. Also on an unrelated note, I think this is the year my fringe fell out due to stress and grew back white.

Going to Aldi the night before serious snow was a mistake. COVID flashbacks. Nervous wreck. Bunged anything in the trolley I could half make a meal out of.

Srsly trying not to spend any unnecessary money this month because holiday at the end of it so sure Robyn and Kylie announce vinyl releases on the same fuckin day

Bored of snow now, I need to go for a sanity run and I can't.

It's -7 out, my house is freezing and I'm STILL too fuckin warm in bed

Managed after great difficulty to set my little camera up for a time lapse. Trains not moved for twenty fucking minutes, stunnin footage.

Dressing for a Wes Anderson aesthetic and sub-arctic conditions is more challenging than I thought it would be

Going to Vegas this month (I know I know, I have no soul for going to the US) - any recommendations for which All You Can Eat to pick? I'm a fat bastard.

JOB DONE.

What idiot put so many fucking decs up

Speaking on behalf of the Weird Aunt community, Shane and people like him often forget the importance of Weird Aunts in the child rearing economy

Husband will be thrilled with this seeing as I'm currently talking him into a second big holiday in 2026...

Watching Stranger Things and absolutely shit all clue what's going on tbh

Physician heal thyself

Greeting the New Year by listening to Steps ALL DAY LONG

Wanted to dress like an actual grown up tonight because I'm usually dressed like a giant toddler but have just realised I packed the top I wanted to wear away into the loft so...Jane says hi.

Incredible year for gigs in 2025. Possibly the best ever? All incredible, but Top 5 would be: #1 - Self Esteem, O2 Academy Birmingham #2 - Annie Lennox, Royal Albert Hall #3 - Beverley Glenn Copeland, Aviva Studios #4 - Lady Gaga, Co-Op Arena #5 - Kylie, Sheffield Arena

One more sleep until it’s C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶m̶a̶s̶ Mariah seemingly drunk AND pregnant with nothing but a wind machine, a green screen and a dream.

We were going to call our family dog dougalmcflurry back when I was 12 and it's stuck ever since. Fucking throws me when people call me dougal irl though 💀

Nearly passed out when my husband and friend launched me at Kim Cattrall and I diverted myself into a wall.

Whoever invented the negroni is a fucking sadist. And I say that as a martini drinker.

Eldest niece told me I reminded her of Jonathan Bailey today. She's now getting the entire inheritance, well played.

Watching the gay hockey thing and honestly I don't think there's any amount of bumming that could get me invested in sports.

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

Wicked acid reflux so naturally I've just made the world's spiciest Bloody Mary.

Hello, my name is Tiny Tim, you employed my father, prepare to die.

How's everybody else's Christmas Eve going? I just had to fish through a bin bag that I'd emptied the remnants of our curry into for my wedding and engagement rings 🙃

Always wanted highlights as a teenager, just never expected them to be FUCKIN GREY.

In the pub and just realised my trousers have a massive hole in the gooch. Merry Christmas.

Next year please remind September me not to book the fucking turkey collection for 7.30am on Christmas Eve.

The red cabbage is almost ready to come out of the oven. Only started it 5.5 hours ago, result.

Your annual reminder that if you're watching Muppets Christmas Carol you can now get the UNEDITED version with the best fucking song that was only released in the UK on VHS for one year on Disney+ by going into extras 😇

Went out for a run and husband told me I'd dressed like an Avenger in Infinity Wars and...he's not wrong.