SEND HELP

Sometimes it (hails) in April

Bear. Fish. Pig.

She is Rizzo. Alleluia!

It's not Easter if the house doesn't smell of boiling cola and onions mmmmm

Bought shit loads of Easter eggs, mini eggs and chocolates to decorate the table and can't find them so have inadvertently created my own Easter egg hunt

Husband randomly suggested we watched Titanic (AKA my favourite film ever) so I sat down and put it on as quickly as possible before he could back out, not a fucking clue why he suggested it.

In the pub and the only other people in the room are a family with a kid and they're all just singing constantly to the kid and I might have to scream

Going through photos from the past year and it's just occurred to me that I seem to have lost half my fuckin wardrobe WHERE HAVE ALL MY CLOTHES GONE

Spent all night dreaming I was dead and stuck between realms. Another relaxing night's sleep 🙃

Me: I really need to buy some clothes that don't have Mickey Mouse on them. Also Me: Opens Vinted, buys 5 more Mickey Mouse tops

Finally started The Pitt S2. Already taken glasses off because of the amount of blood. If this show weren't so good I wouldn't bother.

Making risotto and the recipes called for me to put all the stock in at once which goes against everything I've ever learnt but FUCK IT

Starting to slightly lose my patience with Ziggy's recovery. Over a week and he's eaten less than a meals worth of food despite all our efforts. Starting to refuse tablets. I spent all day in bed. Off out for dinner so we don't take frustration out on the poor little bugger.

We're rewatching Schitts Creek and it dawned on me that my hair USED to look like Dan Levy's and now, aged 36, it resembles Eugene Levy. Walking into traffic.

Ah fuck the Celine tickets aren't as insane as I thought they would be, I'm going to have to try to get them aren't I

I’m reading Liza Minnelli’s autobiography, and it’s summoning some serious trauma from 11 years ago…

Miranda: another man keeping tabs on women?! Charlotte: I think it's sweet, he's always looking out for you! Samantha: I'd rather he fucked me ceaselessly Carrie: Big's moving to Mordor

RUN YOUR OWN PAULINE QUIRKE ACADEMY OF PERFORMING ARTS

I've made Chicken Tonight (it's a guilty pleasure and I needed something mindless to cook), threw some celery, onion and peppers in and it looks like I've made Chicken in a Sandwich Spread sauce which...no complaints tbh 👌

Today's run was not a success HOWEVER Ziggy managed to eat something and it only cost £200 🙃

V relaxing week off where I have to keep my work phone on me at all times because the vet can't grasp that it's not my actual number despite me never giving them it which is v weird

Was his crime too much filler because his face did look like it was about to explode tbf

Beautiful stuff

For YEARS I've banged on about Carol Vorderman's Pop Times Tables and everyone thought I was delusional but I JUST FOUND IT. youtu.be/Zbgb11VJtVQ?...

Somehow forgot about this in my tired haze but when I was watching Sex And The City 2 the other night, I turned the subtitles on and...

Me and my new best friend, ROBYN. No biggie.

It's been a fuckin week so I'm currently sat listening to the Barbra Streisand Christmas album I managed to get for a steal on vinyl.

Today's wasn't too shabby tbf we'll go with that

Getting this lyric tattooed

Idk if M&S are doing them this year BUT Aldi are doing knock off marmite hot cross buns and they're banging. (Not a patch on the chilli and cheese ones from a few years back but I'll take whatever savouries I can get).

Already unfollowed someone for reposting the fucking harry potter trailer fucking DO BETTER.

Our little Ziggy is having a really tough time - heart failure and threw a clot yesterday. Touch & go at the moment - if you could send him a wish through the ether or whatever. ❤️

if you watch or support this you're a bad person btw. i'm not arguing with you about it either

Can't sleep. Sex And The City 2 has aged particularly badly in the last month but the outfits are still👌Also, Liza.

Also on my Moulin Rouge rewatch - if Jessie Buckley can win an Oscar for that scream then Ewan definitely deserved a nomination at LEAST for that cry.

Went to see the 25th anniversary of Moulin Rouge at the cinema and we were the only people there and I have never been so disappointed in the people of Birmingham.

Had to go to a new barber for the first time in 5 years and fuckin ell I feel like I know him better than I ever did the old one after half an hour.

Ohhhhh SNL UK is GOOD!

SIDESHOW GOD 🫶

I am very much in love with Jane McDonald and have tickets to see her in September but fuck me her new album is DIABOLICAL.

Booked tomorrow off work and absolutely no fucking clue why so now just anxious at what I've forgotten instead of relaxing and not having Sunday Scaries.

Saw The Feeling tonight, finally. Didn't expect it but found it INSANELY emotional seeing the 20th anniversary tour of an album that made 16 year old me feel supported, fabulous & normal performed live, by the queer frontman who made it all feel OK back then. Didn't feel like a big deal, but it was.

Jesus, they weren’t bloody joking.

In the latest Guardian Blind Date: OH MEIN GOTT! My review:

Need to go for a training run but accidentally swallowed three large wines and an aperol spritz last night HELP

It's a big anniversary at work this week so we've all been posting archive photos and someone deadpan said to me today 'oh I didn't realise your hair used to be black' and it took all my strength not to just scream in their face