A friendly frisky dog jumped up at me today and I started petting it. His owner said: “he’s just had the snip,” like she was trying to reassure me. I felt like saying “and I’ve just had my womb out, so I think we’re safe.”

new Live Laugh Love dropped

when ur on a walk and there's a dog

We only rate dogs. This is a miniature horse practicing his jumps. We are not qualified to comment on his form, as we are merely dog experts. Please only send dogs. Thank you… 13/10 (TT: alfy_da_weeny)

We have an *extremely* important announcement to make. From Wednesday, we will be launching our puffin live cam, coming to you from the Farne Islands. So you can watch puffins all day long. In celebration, please enjoy this clip of puffins being really busy for 39 seconds straight.

Anytime there's a high speed motor vehicle crash in a built-up area people are like "maybe the driver had a medical event - these things can't be helped" rather than, like, maybe it shouldn't be possible for someone who is not in control to accelerate something weighing over a tonne. Just a thought.

@zackpolanski.bsky.social : "Antisemitism and Jewish safety is not some abstract concept for me. In fact, in the last 6 weeks alone 2 people have been arrested in relation to antisemitic actions towards me and yesterday the Times newspaper published a vile antisemitic cartoon.."

I am watching the snooker! (Please clap! As the youngsters say... talking of youngsters, Kowalski looks about 12 years old. I think that means I am officially old. I don't know who any of the players are, anymore...) I will be mostly watching the highlights.

Happy 13th anniversary to that terrible misunderstanding at a WI meeting.

John Higgins looks like a retired cop in a gritty Scottish crime drama who the leads go to see while investigating a cold case, and it turns out he actually did the crime himself because he’s been working for a crime lord to support his sick wife.

Me, every time I remember there is snooker happening on the telly: "why am I not watching the snooker?"

Labour making it extremely clear which political party they're actually scared of coming into power in the run-up to local elections and it's not Reform.

Trying to think what is left to say about a country that is currently laser-focused on destroying the chances of the only Jewish political party leader it has by relentlessly calling him antisemitic while also publishing cartoons of him looking villainous with a big hook nose.

Them: "think of the children!!!!" Me: omg yes you are so right. we should abolish child prisons, stop funding militaries that slaughter children, ensure every child has access to medical care and healthy food, provide mental health counselors in schoo-- Them: NO WE MEAN CENSOR THE INTERNET!!!

If your business has a website, you may want to have an app developed. Here’s a quick guide on how to make that decision: Does your website function? If the answer is yes, don’t release an app. If the answer is no, fix your website and don’t release an app.

Everyone is like "oh you're a poet? You're not working class anymore then you class traitor" like bitch stop doing the work of the powerful for them.

My biggest conspiracy theory is that telling working class people that engagement in the arts is a middle / upper class thing and to do so makes you a class traitor is a psyop to make them disengaged with themselves and the world and the beauty of being human, so that they accept worse treatment.

I just think they would have been trained to restrain people without having to kick them in the head, repeatedly (before we bring anything else into it. And WHY are we bringing anything else into it?)

Important to remember: "maybe MPs shouldn't be so drunk at work they stink of booze all day" and "maybe the met shouldn't literally kick people repeatedly on the head while they're on the ground" getting the full bore outrage cannons isn't about the specifics, it's about the left being illegitimate.

The UK Media & pundits should care more that yesterday, a court found that their soldiers shot dead 2 men and 3 children in the UK & the British Army wouldn’t provide multiple documents, inc the list which would’ve identified the soldiers, & now impossible to find the identity of any of the soldiers

My favourite correction:

If these walls could talk, they'd probably speak in some wall language we couldn't understand.

"Trust me, bro, I govern better when I've had a few drinks."

Last time someone told me you never see anyone using a bike lane, 5 cyclists rode past us on the bike lane in question while they were saying it. It's just a thing people say about bike lanes like saying "nice weather for ducks" when it rains.

It is absolutely sickening that anyone is remotely entertaining the idea that the scandal here should be that Polanski criticised these cops & not that these cops brutalised this man (criminal or not) & that the Prime Minister is both defending it & cynically weaponising it for political gain.

Happy National Physician's Day to the doctors who are wearing respirator masks to protect others & stop the spread of airborne illness. We need many more of you 👩‍⚕️🎊

The man who died is barely cold and someone is bitching about a bike lane a few hundred metres from where he was killed because it took a bit longer to get out of a supermarket car park.

In case anyone thinks this is any kind of exaggeration, here's every candidate but one in Birmingham saying to the father of a child killed while walking on the sidewalk of a dangerously designed road that they're sorry for his loss, but not as sorry as they'd be if car owners had to slow down.

And now, a cyclist killed on this stretch of road, two drivers arrested on suspicion of dangerous driving. Five years ago, the council planned - and had funding for - a safe cycle path along this road. They dragged their feet, the Tories riled up opposition, and the council gave up. I'm so angry.

The final bosses of "but if you ban cars like you're not proposing to, how am I going to transport my large unwieldy items?"

It's honestly super fucked up that cyclists (& other non-drivers) are expected to not only navigate laws & infrastructure hostile to them but also to manage the emotions of people in charge of several tonnes of high speed machinery who are coddled by it but nonetheless feel somehow deeply aggrieved.

"But you should care how they feel because if you make them too angry they might murder you!" Believe me, cyclists are extremely aware of this. They're constantly weighing up the risks drivers pose through negligence, recklessness, aggression and how to manage them.

Bloody cyclists. Constantly finding new, evermore devious ways to... *checks notes* give themselves the best chance of arriving at their destination without being maimed or killed, even if that makes the person who might have maimed or killed them feel a bit grumpy.

everything but.

I feel like "my work day is super long" is an explanation of why you drink a fuckton of coffee or energy drinks at work; not why you've got to have a swift half anytime you get 15 minutes spare.

Scottish Labour reaching new depths of transphobia and misogyny. Both the Green and SNP candidates ARE CIS WOMEN you paternalistic bigoted prick.

First puzzle! 'Electric Sheep' set by Patient. Give it a solve here: crossers.co.uk/puzzles/b74c... #cryptic #crosswords

Btw that should be “small yappy dog” of course. Nothing wrong with a small happy dog.

Or “feisty” - like a small happy dog, only ever used of women.

This is Fitz and June. Fitz just got here and thinks this place is pretty great. June was here first and thinks it's time to return Fitz. 13/10 for both (TT: muester)

As we watch the #Mastermind final, spare a thought for the two spare contestants who’ve revised a third subject and are sitting in their hotel room in Belfast just in case until they’re stood down at lunchtime.

A woman commenting on my Substack has requested that I smile in the next photo I post. You know, that Substack I’m writing about fucking cancer.

It’s going to be one of those days when I keep having a little cry about Victoria Wood. I’ve gone three times already and it’s only 7.30. www.theguardian.com/stage/2026/a...

And what a wonderful warm generous underrated sitcom dinnerladies was: generations of brilliant women given brilliant lines. From Anne Reid and Thelma Barlow to Maxine Peake and Shobna Gulati. Oh god I loved her.

It’s ten years since we lost one of the finest we ever had. Victoria Wood was wonderful. Seeing a funny clever woman writing and performing each week on my TV was hugely inspiring for me. She died of cancer at 62. That’s the age I am now so it’s particularly hurting. youtu.be/i2poRHmFvLI?...

VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means? ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]

You also gotta love [sarcasm] how they seem to think this is an “edgy” take. Like, this is the farthest it gets from an edgy take. There isn’t a more boring, generic take than that.

So this may come as a surprise to some folks on here, but there are people still living like this today because they can't afford to get reinfected with Covid & the pandemic is *not* over

Pardon me but I don't remember JKR loudly and vocally advocating for single mums beyond talking about how she was a single mum while she wrote books. Perhaps I blinked and missed it. I know that wasn't even the point of this post but.