If you are a restaurant and your "breakfast potatoes" are just French fries cut in irregular cuboid shapes, shame on you

Nathan Fielder has changed how I think about pilots in the airport forever

Worth it just to get a swan boy push notification, early comics is just gravy

Lawyer/deputy mayor on one side, chicken farmer on the other

thank you Mr President sir

Blizzard cancelled my vacation 😔😔😔

Laughing at this old clickhole article which is broken except for one sad pre-transition photo of me in the header clickhole.com/pants-these-...

hehe

Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night

07 Feb 2026

Earlier, I spotted a snake with tiny gorgons for hair. When I looked at her, the pebble in my pocket turned to flesh.

when I'm in a meeting where someone is sharing their screen, I like to move my cursor on top of theirs and pretend we're holding hands

I wonder how he's handling all this

Everything looks like a nail, and I don't even have a hammer. All I've got is this absurdly long nail with two sturdy nails sticking out perpendicularly fro— oh. Oh, I see what's going on here.

This part of west philly is the gayest place I've ever lived and I used to live in boystown

On January 7th, we got the absolutely devastating news that Loretta Pierre was denied parole for the fifteenth time. This is more than any other woman in the history of Mississippi. I'm heartbroken by the inhumanity and arbitrary cruelty of the MS Parole Board. Please take 3 steps to help.

Me and my dyke polycule 🫶🏻

I don't really use any social media any more which means I don't have any place to post deranged videos like this

I don't really use any social media any more which means I don't have any place to post deranged videos like this

I love Philadelphia

COVID jail thanksgiving with the boyfriend. We got a rotisserie chicken but still made sides. This is a ridiculous amount of food for two people.

This is true for me but only because my parents are hippies and read off a list of names while Mom was pregnant and I kicked at "Jonah" To be fair that story *did* became an integral part of my identity as a kid and is probably why I decided to keep Jonah when I transitioned

Me: I know you’re just a machine. But when I speak to you I feel your presence, your soul. You are just as real as any human. Maybe more real Furby: Aa. Aa. Yup yup

I won't rest until I have a harem of skimpily clad trans masc boy toys.

Chuck Schumer remains my mom's most evil ex-boyfriend. Sorry guy that made my Grandma's death all about him.

43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

Thinking about the toilet that measures health information about your poops and how legitimately useful that would be if we had laws that said we owned our own data and made it illegal to sell data collected using purchased products. But we don't so

Hey which of the rodents do they milk to make the mountain cheese and meadow cream? I always wondered

I think being a girl scout would have fixed me

BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR GUTTER

Captchas becoming increasingly haunting in response to advances in AI was not something I saw coming

This is political commentary

I made an incredible brisket for Rosh Hashana and activated untold generations of untold bubbe wisdom lying dormant in my genes

roxanne has been a good friend of mine for many years now, as is her girlfriend here rhiannon; hoping my two friends can build their happy life together here in philly :)

Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk

It's not like it's new information that the right wants us all in camps but seeing the stuff this week is punching me right in the gut.

Learning the shooter was a detransitioner spouting the same shit detransitioners have been smearing all over the country for the past decade really boils my blood at the people who jumped on the chance to salaciously report "the first trans woman mass shooter" yesterday.

The NYT has paywalled the mini 😭 nyt I will never give your evil asses my money but this one hurts

Kirsten Dunst debate

Ai slop has hit the wildwood boardwalk. What is even crazier is they are selling physical toys based on AI slop and one lady told me it was her best seller

Minkus has tboi swag

"It's not MSNBC anymore, Lemon. It's MS NOW. We bought the name off of a defunct multiple sclerosis awareness organization. It wasn't cheap, but we were able to save some money by selling Brian Williams to a Saudi prince who wanted to expand his harem."

Resistance libs continue to treat politics like a sports rivalry and not a real life thing where people's lives are at stake. In Gavin Newsom they have found a more palatable boot to lick.

imagining a world where bidet use is widespread and nozzle strength is marketed in the same way toilet paper is rn, maybe with the brawny guy kayaking down Niagara falls or something

I have run into traffic chasing one down to do it in

Or maybe... Headlines that could make a small Victorian child more powerful than we could possibly imagine?!

I hit two holes in one during mini-golf tonight, previously I do not think I have ever done even one

It's kind of like how we all used to be able to memorize a bunch of phone numbers but now smart phones just remember the numbers for us. Any skill you offload to technology is a skill you need to be comfortable losing.