THE REPLICATORS ARE PELTING THE PROMENADE WITH A TORRENTIAL TACO DOWNPOUR

// I do not have the words to describe how fucking evil this is. Not even in my native language. ⬇️ Jeg har ikke ordene til at beskrive, hvor fucking ondskabsfuldt det her er. 🇩🇰

WHO BEAMED MY TACTICAL JORTS INTO THE oh here they are. Ok. Then I just need WHO BEAMED MY TACTICAL CROCS INTO oh I’m wearing them. Right. Say, Ensign, do you think warp fumes cause memory loss? Follow-up question, who ARE you?!?

I have a friend who said, of Starfleet Academy, that this took them out of it - that seeing a person in a wheelchair in the 32nd century seemed unrealistic, since medicine in Star Trek "should be able to cure whatever was wrong with them." That's not the case, for any number of possible reasons.

Yes, Quark, what exactly IS this “Thirsty Thursday” special I keep hearing about? How thirsty am I? Oh, I’d say pretty thirsty—extremely thirsty? Well, I dunno about that I’m pretty hydrated—would I say I’m “a thirsty, thirsty boy”? I mean, I’m a man, but sure—

Welcome to Tube Talk with ME, your host, Chief Engineer O’Brien! Next up is a nonstop Rock Block hosted by Morn, but FIRST: your questions!! ROM! Patch the first hail through. Hello? Captain Obry Nsux? What is your question? Hello? HELLO??

THE REPLICATORS ARE LAUNCHING TACOS AND VARIOUS JARITOS FLAVORS ACROSS THE PROMENADE

THERE IS CURRENTLY A BIRDEMIC ON THE PROMENADE AFTER SOME FOOL GAVE QUARK A 50% DISCOUNT ON SOMETHING CALLED REVOLUTIONARY GREEN TECH

Happy Friday, everyone!! To celebrate I’m breaking out my stash of Sunny-D! Who would like to try some of my D? Step on up, don’t be shy, there’s enough of my D for EVERYONE!! Julian, you’re sweating, you clearly need some of my refreshing D—WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING

WHO KEEPS BEAMING MY LUNCH THREE KILOMETERS AWAY FROM ME

HOW IS IT ONLY WEDNESDAY

FUCK ICE

EYES UP PEOPLE! Tactical Tuesday is upon us and it’s time for a tactical test!! Everything I am wearing is, of course, tactical, but ONE item is the MOST tactical! Can any of you guess— *FOMPH* ……ok so the keenly observant among you may have noticed a large cloud of smoke emanating from my pants

Ensign, it’s Monday, I haven’t slept due to Coach Gowron’s Tactical Training Program, and you’re TELLING me that Quark has LOCKED up the COFFEE?! So, what I hold here in my hand is something called C4, and

WELP THIS SNOWMOBILE AIN’T GONNA KICKSTART ITSELF ROM, GRAB THE OIL AND GREASE ME I’M GOING IN

Well I can’t DO it if you keep COMPLAINING Julian, can I?? Now hold on, I’ve ALMOST got my whole ARM up in here—what? Well OF COURSE Keiko is watching!! How else is she going to hold it steady?!! I swear, every time I have to unclog Quark’s grease trap you throw a HISSY FIT

THE REPLICATORS ARE PUNTING PIPING HOT PANCAKES PERILOUSLY ACROSS THE PROMENADE

Well hello there! I’m Chief Engineer O’Brien, and today we’re exploring the air vent system! Who am I narrating to, you ask? HA HA no time for questions, these nests of Klingon Spiders aren’t going to rehome themselves!!

What do you MEAN my tactical grip gloves with extra TacGrip aren’t ready yet, Garak?? You know what, perhaps a SONG would MOTIVATE you! TELL ME WHY Ain’t nothin’ but a tailor TELL ME WHY It’s never now but later TELL ME WH— [ERROR IN TRANSMISSION DUE TO MULTIPLE EXPLOSIONS]

STEP ON UP and grab YOUR serving of O’Brien’s Famous Malt Balls!! I make them myself from SCRATCH and— Hmm? Why yes Ensign, my balls are a good size. Especially for the price! FREE! And—what? Yes, my balls will absolutely MELT in your mouth—huh? Well OF COURSE my balls are firm—WHAT IS SO FUNNY

MY WOODCHIPPER IS CHASING ME ACROSS THE PROMENADE

And you’re CERTAIN that this battle armor is HISTORICALLY ACCURATE, Garak?? You’re SURE?? Huh. Oh nothing, it’s just I assumed that Robin Hood wore, I don’t know, a bit MORE than just a CODPIECE. Welp live and learn I’m off to Quark’s to try out the new holo-program!

Ensign, it’s Monday, it’s too KISS ME early, the universal translators are MY SAUCY ASS again, and we need to SLATHER MY PECS IN OIL fast because there are reports of I AM A NAUGHTY BOY all over the station!!!

If you support Gavin Newsom, even in the slightest, even if it's just his AI slop social media posts, you're signaling you're as eager to get rid of trans people as the most rabid Trumpist. You just want it done with a frown instead of a laugh.

HOLD THE LINE

can block or mute here too, and seems to catch the new ones too bsky.app/profile/did:...

*whistling & sirens are suddenly heard around the promenade as people come out of stores, stand along the crossover bridges, and hold up signs denouncing @icegov.bsky.social 's presence on @bsky.app * SAY NO TO MURDERERS AND KIDNAPPERS!

Black Trans Will Die Please Help ko-fi.com/lilithtreah

Nonsense Ensign!! I’ve finally PASSED the next level of Garak’s Innuendo 101 class, so I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say you’ll be “playin’ with the boys” later!! Yes, a roman wrestling holo-program, obviously! NATURALLY I’ll SLATHER myself in olive oil; I assume it’s historically accurate?

STEP ON UP & grab YOUR bowl of O’Brien’s Famous Chili!! I’ve tweaked the recipe; you’ll notice notes of Roma tomatoes, hickory, warp grease, garlic & more AND I’m serving it in HISTORICALLY AUTHENTIC WOODEN BOWLS which is why you should hurry cause, full disclosure, the bowls are melting WITH FLAVOR

TACO TUESDAY IS OUT OF CONTROL ON THE PROMENADE

OH GOD NOT THE BEES NOT THE BEEEEEEES

Rest in power to Keith Porter who was murdered by an ICE agent in Los Angeles. It’s terrible that his name is just now being circulated, but now that it is, continue to say his name.

WHO LET GWAR ONTO THE PROMENADE

Nonsense Julian!! If Ensign Frank was a XENOMORPH, I would KNOW about it!! My keen ENGINEER SENSE would have detected it!! No, Frank is just a regular Ensign, that’s for sure. Now, give me a hand moving these weird, egg-shaped things OUT of Cargo Bay 12!!

Computer, one taco with all the fixings please. Wait. When I say “all” the fixings I don’t meaaaaAAAAHHHHHGGGG

THE REPLICATORS ARE FLINGING BREAKFAST ITEMS ACROSS THE PROMENADE MORN JUST TOOK A WAFFLE TO THE FACE QUARK IS CHARGING PER SUCCESSFUL CATCH AND/OR IMPACT

Alright. First day of the new Terrian year. And THIS time I’m going to write that rock opera!!!

FIREWORKS ARE EXPLODING WHILE THE REPLICATORS SPRAY GLITTER AND CONFETTI ACROSS THE PROMENADE I CAN’T BLOODY SEE OR HEAR ANYTHING

I’m pleased to report that, after a lot of hard work, the Universal Anus is translating again. ……wait

THE COMS ARE BLASTING MORN’S PODCAST AT FULL VOLUME

Would someone care to EXPLAIN to me WHY Cargo Bay 13 is absolutely PACKED to the brim with CRATES of fireworks with MY BLOODY FACE AS THE LOGO

THE REPLICATORS ARE LAUNCHING HOLDAY GIFTS AT ANYTHING THAT MOVES ACROSS THE PROMENADE

I don’t know why you brought ME backstage Garak; if the Ensign who’s playing the Sugar Plumb Fairy isn’t HERE then I don’t know— What do you MEAN “take their part”?!!The bloody costume doesn’t fit— WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ALREADY BROUGHT ONE IN MY SIZE

Garak, I asked for a SIMPLE holiday sweater to wear to the staff party. What you’ve presented me with here is some kind of pleather chest piece….I mean it’s MOSTLY tassels and holes!! What do you MEAN, I’m on your “naughty list”?? STOP STARING AT ME

THE REPLICATORS ARE FLOODING THE PROMENADE WITH EGGNOG IN WHAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME IS SOME KIND OF DRILL

Rom’s out sick so I am ON THE LINE at Quark’s!! I’ve got my “Kiss The Chef” tactical backless apron, my tactical Socs ‘N Crocs™️ and I haven’t had more than 3 hours of SLEEP!! ORDER UP!!