WHAT IS ON THE CEILING oh it’s me. HOW AM I ON THE CEILING oh I’m wearing my tactical suction cups. WHY AM I WEARING MY TACTICAL SUCTION CUPS oh to get up on the ceiling. WHAT IS ON THE CEILING THAT I NEEDED TO GET UP HERE AND

Reuters: "An Israeli airstrike killed at least 10 people and wounded others outside a school housing displaced Palestinians." Life is perilous for the thousands of displaced Gazans. They rely on donations. Please give to my friend Tasneem so she can take care of her family. And to others. ❤️🙏

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

I'll never forgive the people who voted for this man, ever.

Welcome back to Tube Talk with me, Chief Engineer O’Brien! Up next is Morn’s Madness Hour spinning the hits of the 90’s to today, but FIRST: YOUR HAILS!! Today we’re talking about the tactical approach to packing fudge in stay-fresh containers and—oh we have a hail! Hello? Ensign Az Plozon? HELLO

Yes Quark I am AWARE that the universal translators are randomly inserting song lyrics into communications, and I ASSURE you, I will fix it When I Come Around!!!

THE REPLICATORS ARE SPEWING VARIOUS MILKSHAKES ACROSS THE PROMENADE AT A VELOCITY THAT CANNOT BE CONTAINED

I DON’T KNOW why our “Pirate Adventure: The Tales of Seaweed Sam” holoprogram seems to be taking place on a LOVEBOAT, Julian!!! What I DO know is that we have to get to the poop deck, STAT!!

It’s Tactical Tuesday where I, Chief Engineer O’Brien, will PERSONALLY assess YOUR tactical gear! To do this I will of course be wearing my T.I.G.H.T.A.S.S. (Tactical Incognito Grip Hip Tempered Assessment Security Sequins)

I HAVE CONSUMED MY OWN BODY WEIGHT IN COFFEE AND BREAKFAST PASTRIES IT COULD NOT BE AVOIDED

1 Just passed through security at La Guardia. ICE entirely doing security! 100% of ID and identity checks done by ICE…Truly icky and dystopian. Some thoughts.

FANTASTIC NEWS I have FINALLY been able to convert my Famous Chili into field rations!! That’s right, now YOU can carry my Famous Chili with you into ANY situation!! Away mission? Check. Diplomatic meetings? Of course. Date night? I ENCOURAGE it!!

THE REPLICATORS ARE LAUNCHING HANDMADE ARTISANAL GLUTEN-FREE LOW CARB HIGH PROTEIN SOY-FREE LACTOSE-FREE DAIRY-FREE GMO-FREE REDUCED SALT HIGH FIBER KETO-FRIENDLY SUSTAINABLE LOCALLY SOURCED ORGANIC VEGAN SMALL BATCH BLUEBERRY SCONES ACROSS THE PROMENADE

HOW IS IT ONLY WEDNESDAY

I'm receiving reports from airports all over the country about ICE sightings. I'll be sharing updates here as I get them. ⬇️

NONSENSE JULIAN! If I was CONSTIPATED could I tighten my tactical tool belt like THISHUURRRK …… ………… ok so one, I need to read the ingredients to Quark’s Bran: Made With Real* Bran*, and two, there is now a situation in the back of my pants that requires tactical considerations

GET UP, ENSIGN, GET UP!! It’s Tactical Friday!! What, you thought there was only Tactical Tuesday? That wouldn’t be very TACTICAL would it???! OBSERVE! My tactical crocs? Secured!! My tactical chaps? Fastened!! My tactical utility belt? Caught in the turbolift no wait what AIIIEEEEEEEEEEE

I wrote about this. The TLDR is: the Left has a decades-long abuse problem and without pushing for and achieving a true intersectional movement, this type of shit is going to continue. Let's figure this shit out, for Pete's sake

Julian this is a historically accurate Greco Roman Wrestling holoprogram. Historically. Accurate. So yes, OF COURSE we need to be wearing these tactical codpieces!! And don’t get me STARTED on the tactical olive oil!!

THE REPLICATORS ARE SPEWING PIPING HOT CHOWDAH ONTO THE PROMENADE

I mean, “Saint” Patrick was a fookin’ Christian colonizer who wasn’t even bloody IRISH, Worf!! But sure, I’ll take a whiskey if you’re buying.

UPSIDE INSIDE OUT LIVIN’ LA VIDA—oh hey Ensign I didn’t hear you come in

Hey, some days you just have to pull yourself and your torn pants up and trudge along through waste extraction, amirite Ensign Brad? Ah, I see you’ve succumbed to the fumes. Welp, you’re gonna get that.

STEP ON UP and grab YOUR slice of O’Brien’s Famous Pizza!! What, you’ve never had an Irishman make you pizza? Spoiler alert, it’s whiskey.

THE REPLICATORS ARE LAUNCHING EVERYONE’S COFFEE ORDERS ACROSS THE PROMENADE BECAUSE SOME IDIOT SAID “EXPRESS-O”

Look Ensign, Quark is HAVING a drink special; there’s no NEED to ask for ALL the drinks from the replicatorOW OLD FASHIONED OW KLINGON SURPRISE OW MARTINI OW TEQUILA SHOTS OW HOT TODDY OW SEX ON THE BEACH OW GIN AND TONIC OW VULCAN WHISKEY OW MORN’S MUDSLIDE OW TARG SHERRY AHHG NOT THE FOUR LOKO

OOF these pants are a little tight today I tell ya! Welp, no time to change, gotta bend over and fix this bloody conduit HURRRRRRRK Hmm suddenly it feels very windy in here. Ensign, add taking a look at the station’s environmental controls to our work list today!!

HOW IS IT ONLY WEDNESDAY …..wait

Thanks for asking about my day Coach Gowron, but I don’t wanna taco bout it. Get it? Taco? Taco bout it? Talk about it = taco bout it? Because it’s Taco Tuesday? The day were we have ALL the tacos—AHHHHHG TACO BARRAGE WHY DID I SAY THAT NEAR THE REPLICATOR

HOW THE BLOODY HELL IS IT ONLY MONDAY

STEP ON UP and get YOUR bowl of O’Brien’s Famous Friday Chili!! For those of you who COMPLAINED that the last batch wasn’t spicy enough (looking at you Morn), I’ve INCREASED the spice level by a percentage that somehow broke my calculator. NOW LINE UP AND USE THE TITANIUM BOWLS

Well hello there! I’m Chief Engineer Miles O’Brien and today we find ourselves in Waste Extraction trapped between two walls! Why am I narrating you ask? Ha ha no time for questions, the walls are slowly closing in!!

This is a Nazi move. Stripping people of rights, invalidating their IDs, setting them up for criminalization and imprisonment. If you don't support trans rights, you support fascism.

Huh. Could SWEAR I just saw myself on that balcony over there. Must not be getting enough sleep. Welp, might as well get some dinner and call it a day. Computer, are all the pizzas—no not ALL the pizza—NOT ALL THE PIZZA— THE REPLICATORS ARE LAUNCHING ALL OF THE PIZZAS ACROSS THE PROMENADE

Ooh a new kayaking DLC is available at Quark’s holosuite!! “Dirk Manchasm and the Rapids of Eros”…….huh. Must be some planet from a different system, never heard of it, but hey it’s FREE! I’m surprised at you Quark! Yes of course I’ll sign the waiver and—yes OBVIOUSLY I brought my tactical thong

DAMMIT GARAK WHY DID MY TACTICAL PANTS JUST EXPLODE HOW THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT TACTICAL

Listen everyone, I am AWARE that the universal translators are randomly inserting ancient 1990’s Earth band lyrics into conversations and I assure you I WOULD PUT MY TENDER HEART IN A BLENDER as fast as I can!!

THE REPLICATORS ARE PELTING THE PROMENADE WITH A TORRENTIAL TACO DOWNPOUR

// I do not have the words to describe how fucking evil this is. Not even in my native language. ⬇️ Jeg har ikke ordene til at beskrive, hvor fucking ondskabsfuldt det her er. 🇩🇰

WHO BEAMED MY TACTICAL JORTS INTO THE oh here they are. Ok. Then I just need WHO BEAMED MY TACTICAL CROCS INTO oh I’m wearing them. Right. Say, Ensign, do you think warp fumes cause memory loss? Follow-up question, who ARE you?!?

I have a friend who said, of Starfleet Academy, that this took them out of it - that seeing a person in a wheelchair in the 32nd century seemed unrealistic, since medicine in Star Trek "should be able to cure whatever was wrong with them." That's not the case, for any number of possible reasons.

Yes, Quark, what exactly IS this “Thirsty Thursday” special I keep hearing about? How thirsty am I? Oh, I’d say pretty thirsty—extremely thirsty? Well, I dunno about that I’m pretty hydrated—would I say I’m “a thirsty, thirsty boy”? I mean, I’m a man, but sure—

Welcome to Tube Talk with ME, your host, Chief Engineer O’Brien! Next up is a nonstop Rock Block hosted by Morn, but FIRST: your questions!! ROM! Patch the first hail through. Hello? Captain Obry Nsux? What is your question? Hello? HELLO??

THE REPLICATORS ARE LAUNCHING TACOS AND VARIOUS JARITOS FLAVORS ACROSS THE PROMENADE

THERE IS CURRENTLY A BIRDEMIC ON THE PROMENADE AFTER SOME FOOL GAVE QUARK A 50% DISCOUNT ON SOMETHING CALLED REVOLUTIONARY GREEN TECH

Happy Friday, everyone!! To celebrate I’m breaking out my stash of Sunny-D! Who would like to try some of my D? Step on up, don’t be shy, there’s enough of my D for EVERYONE!! Julian, you’re sweating, you clearly need some of my refreshing D—WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING

WHO KEEPS BEAMING MY LUNCH THREE KILOMETERS AWAY FROM ME